Piano Cartoons

"And now, God help us all, Rachmaninoff's Concerto in C Minor."

"You see, darling, he plays a Steinway, just like you."

"Tiny Grand Piano From Outer Space!"

"Let's see him get out of this sonata."

No Title

"This next song goes out to anyone who's ever been in love with the idea of invading Iran."

Piano-Tuning Bar

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."

Kicking Out The Jams On A Friday Night With The Sisters Of Doo-Wop

"Play it, Sam."

"I don't know much about show business, but I do know we're selling more hamburgers."

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to all those who thought they'd loved and lost only to find out years later that it was just some sort of scheduling conflict."

Raw Piano Bar

"Some Debussy, Igor."

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"This song describes the events of a lovely spring day. The sky is a cloudless blue, birds are singing, and out at the ballpark the grass is an emerald green. It's the top of the fourth, there are two out and runners on first and second. The batter hits a slow roller down the third-base line. The third baseman scoops up the ball barehanded and tries for a force play at second..."

"They're burning pianos in Hartford!"

Opera Singer Looking Out of Place Sitting On The Bar Piano

"Last night, I tried out some new stuff, but tonight I'm only drinking the classics."

"This next song's about pain."

Piano Airbag

"Lemme tell you how I feel about high blood pressure, Mr. McGuinn."

"Vivian ends every set with 'Que Será, Será.' "

"Is that cute or is that cute?"