"Your steered the proper course, Cap'n, when you had us bury this instead of investing it in the market!"
Tags:pirate, pirates, treasure, treasures, buried treasure, burying treasure, money under the mattress, invest, investing, investment, investments, good investment, bad investment, good investments, bad investment, financial advice, good financial advice, bad financial advice, stock markets, market, market crash, stock market crash, crash, credit crunch, global financial crisis, financial crisis, financial crash, captain, pirate captain, pirate captains
"We should make it past the rocks by nightfall, provided our luck holds."
Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure
Tags:animal, animals, squirrel, squirrels, pirate, pirates, dig, digging, hole, holes, search, searching, buried, bury, treasure, buried treasure, x marks the spot, x-marks-the-spot, map, maps, treasure map, treasure maps, hunting, hunt, searching, search, looking, look, captain, captains, eye patch, eye patches, peg leg, peg legs, shovel, shovels, shoveling, shovelling, park, parks, hook, hooks, strange, unusual
"Pi what squared? Long John, you should be able to get this."
Tags:myth, myths, legend, legends, pirate, pirates, long john silver, treasure island, literature, robert louis stevenson, book, books, fictional character, fictional characters, arr, math, maths, mathematics, area of a circle, pi, π, r, radius, area, circle, circles, equation, equations, formula, formulas, wordplay, word play, play on words, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotypes, stereotyping, education, school, schools, schooling, teacher, teachers, student, students, class, classes, classroom, classrooms, math teacher, math teachers, math class, math classes
"I swear, mateys, 'twas my clear understanding that me and the lads was only running some kind of cruise ship!"
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, pirate ship, pirate ships, pirate captain, captain, captains, ships captain, court, court of law, lawyer, lawyers, defence lawyer, defence lawyers, defence, legal defence, accused, stand accused, plausible deniability, plea, plead, plead innocent, responsibility, not responsible, willfully ignorant, willful ignorance
"I was in a different place then."
Tags:olde, ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, amputate, amputated, amputations, profession, professions, career change, career, careers, job change, history, historical, historically, spatula, spatulas, fry, fries, fry cook, line cook, chef, chefs, cooking, cookery, reform, reforms, reformed, reforming
Sailor with a wooden leg leaves his rowboat tied to a pier that is labeled with a disabled parking sign.
Tags:history, historical, colonial, pirate, pirates, boat, boats, rowboat, rowboats, sailor, sailors, transportation, handicap, handicap parking, disabled parking, disabled parking, blue badge, parking, disabled, disability, dock, docks, port, ports, pier, piers, peg leg, wooden leg, cane, canes, vehicle, vehicles, commuting, commuter, commuters, parking space, parking spaces
"Not in front of the crew!"
Tags:olde, ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, amputate, amputated, amputations, not again, hook, hooks, peg leg, wooden leg, skull and crossbones, danger, dangers, dangerous, limb, limbs, cat, cats, pet, pets, scratching post, scratches, scratch, scratching, crew, crews, respect, respecting, respected
"With the doubloon, you've got the intrinsic value of the metal plus the numismatic considerations."
"You'd be amazed how quickly a boat like that pays for itself."
"The eye patch is just to keep me from fixating on the hook."
Tags:olde, ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, amputate, amputated, amputations, fixate, fixating, fixation, irony, ironic, not again, hook, hooks, peg leg, wooden leg, skull and crossbones, danger, dangers, dangerous, limb, limbs, ominous, ominous sign, ominous signs, handicap, handicaps
"He spent the last half hour trying to piratesplain sea shanties to me."
Cry of the Wild- 50¢.
Tags:wolves, wolf, dog, dogs, beg, begging, panhandle, panhandling, pan handling, pan handle, beggar, beggars, panhandler, pan handler, panhandlers, pan handlers, piracy, pirating, copyright, copyrighted, pirate, pirates, freeboot, freebooting, bootlegging, plagiarism, plagiarise, plagiarize, pet, pets, film, films, movie, movies
"A word to the wise- never put on mascara when you're drunk."
"I'm trying to focus on the treasures in my life that aren't buried."
Tags:ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, treasure, treasure chest, treasures, treasure chests, buried treasure, buried, psychoanalysis, psychiatrist, therapist, therapy, beach, beaches, boat, ship, ships, mental health, grateful, gratitude
Tags:social crutch, social crutches, pirate, pirates, captain, captains, bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, social, sociable, social anxiety, anxious, self conscious, problem, problems, obstacles, social awkwardness, awkward, weirdo, weirdos, weird, knife, knives, concerning, threatening
"And, folks, if you'll take a look out the right side of the plane you'll see a cloud that looks exactly like a pirate."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, cloud, clouds, pirate, pirates, looks like, looks similar, meteorology, meteorologist, meteorologists, weather, shaped, shape, shapes, cloud shapes, shapes in the clouds
"You're right- things are funnier in threes."
Tags:rule of three, the rule of three, walking the plank, pirate, pirates, execution, executions, pirate ship, pirate ships, pirate captain, pirate captains, comedy, comedian, comedians, writing principle, writing principles, punchline, punchlines, standup, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedy writing, comedy writer, comedy writers
Pirate Dives For Underwater Treasure
Tags:ye olde, pirate, pirates, yarr, flintlock, flintlocke, crew, crews, pirate ship, pirate ships, captain, capn, cap'n, amputate, amputated, amputations, professions, diving, diver, divers, swimming, swim, swims, treasure, treasure chest, treasures, treasure chests, dives, desperate measure, desperate measures, historical, historically, underwater, under water
"That's the flag we'll fly atop our pirate ship!"
Tags:jolly roger, pirate, pirates, pirate ship, pirate ships, piracy, privateer, privateers, buccaneer, buccaneers, pirate-ship, pirate-ships, pirate flag, pirate flags, pirate captain, pirate captains, blackbeard, skull and crossbones, raising the flags, raising the colours, mutineer, mutineers, designer, designers, fashion designer, fashion designers
An executive walks the plank during a boardroom meeting.
Tags:ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, walk the plank, walks the plank, walking the plank, executive, executives, boardroom, boardrooms, boardroom meeting, boardroom meetings, meeting, meetings, meeting table, meeting tables, pirate, pirates, 800 pound gorilla, 800 lb gorilla, fall on your sword, falling on your sword, sacrifice, sacrifices, blame, blames, blaming, scapegoat, scapegoats, scapegoating, business meeting, business meetings, shark-infested waters
"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"
Pirate with a Shepherd's Crook for an Arm
Tags:animal, animals, sheep, lamb, lambs, flock, shepherd, shepherds, shepherd's crook, crook, crooks, hook, hooks, arm, arms, pirate, pirates, captain, captains, captain hook, new career, new job, changing careers, changing jobs, profession, professions, career, careers, job, jobs, professional, tool, tools
"We have half your money in bonds and annuities, the other half under an oak tree in the Caymans."
Tags:financial advisor, financial advisors, pirate, pirates, pirate captain, pirate captains, bonds, annuity, annuities, tax avoidance, tax evasion, tax dodging, tax avoider, tax avoiders, tax dodger, tax dodgers, tax evader, tax evaders, offshore account, offshore accounts, offshore bank account, offshore bank accounts, offshore banking, tax haven, tax havens