"I can read you your rights, or you can listen to your rights on tape."
Tags:rights, miranda rights, reading rights, read you your rights, police, policeman, police officer, police officers, arrest, arresting, arrested, perp, perpetrator, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, reading, read, reading aloud, read aloud, audiobooks, audiobook, tape, tapes, recording, recording, lazy, laziness, absurd, absurdist, listen, listening
"Judgement Day: Division Four"
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, prosecutor, prosecutors, prosecution, defense, defence, defendant, defendants, client, clients, witness, witness, bailiff, bailiffs, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, day in court, justice, chaos, confusion, judgement day, american court system, punishments, sentence, sentences, sentencing, criminal, criminals, media, press, journalist, journalists, reporter, reporters, jury, juries, juror, jurors, murder, murders, homicide, swearing in, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence
"I'm sorry, I can't help you-you're subject to bird law now."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobile, tree, trees, stuck, trapped, accident, accidents, car accident, car accidents, strange, unusual, bird, birds, bird law, car in a tree, legal system, law, laws, animal, animals, transportation, legal issue, legals issues, legal problem, legal problems, help, aid, up a tree
"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, bluebird, bluebirds, bluebird of happiness, happiness, happy, depression, mental health, sadness, sad, unhappy, security, frisk, frisking, search, searching, screening, protection, secret service, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, guard, guards, government, governments, terrorism, modern life
"Before we go to lockup, you've got to see this hilarious video."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, arrest, arrests, arrested, police car, police cars, police cruiser, police cruisers, lockup, lockups, jail, jails, prison, prisons, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, felon, felons, bad guy, bad guys, laptop, laptops, computer, computers, video, videos, internet, online, internet video, internet videos, streaming, viral video, viral videos, hilarious, funny, sharing, social networking, social network, social networks, social media, incompetent, incompetents, the power of the internet, technology, modern life, law, justice
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
"Oh, great! Here comes the obligatory car chase."
Tags:bank, banks, banking, bank robbery, bank robberies, robbery, robberies, robbing, bank heist, bank heists, heist, heists, robber, robbers, bank robber, bank robbers, stick-up, stick-ups, hold-up, hold-ups, stickup, stickups, holdup, holdups, criminal, criminals, getaway car, getaway cars, getaway vehicle, getaway vehicles, car chase, car chases, chase scene, chase scenes, police, police car, police cars, police cruiser, police cruisers, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, film, films, movie, movies, action
"That's him—the one on the right."
Tags:evolve, evolved, evolves, evolution, evolutionary, line up, line-up, police lineup, lineup, police, policeman, cop, cops, police man, officer, officers, police officer, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, prehistory, prehistoric, history, historical, science, theory, theory of evolution, darwin, darwinism, creation, creationism
"Officer, shouldn't this be a time for healing?"
Tags:officer, officers, police officer, police officers, traffic cop, traffic cops, speeding, driver, drivers, driving, speeding ticket, speeding tickets, bad driving, bad driver, bad drivers, time for healing, healing process, damage limitation, traffic violation, traffic violations, police brutality, police misconduct, police violence
"They're going to make it tough for you around here when they find out you used to be a cop."
Tags:prison, prisoners, prisoner, cops, cop, ex cop, ex policeman, prison cell, police, policeman, criminal, criminals, crimes, jail, jails, incarceration, incarcerated, sentence, sentencing, cellmates, inmate, inmates, law breaker, law breakers, law breaking, law and order, police officer, police officers, law enforcement, law enforcement officers, law enforcement officer, jailbird, jailbirds, tough, rough, hard, difficult, secret, secrets, secretive, giveaway, giveaways
"Nope. Looks to me like a clear-cut case of suicide by somehow reaching around behind the back and sticking a knife in backward. Let's get a drink."
Tags:detective, detectives, police, crimes, police officer, police officers, officer, officers, stab, criminal, stabbing, stabs, stabbed, kill, killed, killing, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderous, investigation, investigating, investigate, investigation, investigates, scene, crime scene, crime scenes, lazy, conclusion, unlikely, conclusions, laziness, work, working, bored, suicidal, suicides, incompetence, incompetent, cover up, coverup, cover-up, cover ups
"Sorry to crash the party, folks, but all the little people that made it happen were just discovered buried in a shallow grave outside Bakersfield."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor, dead, die, died, death, dying, killed, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, investigate, investigative, investigator, investigators, fbi, f.b.i., federal bureau of investigation, detective, detectives, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, crimes, criminal, criminals, hollywood, bakersfield, california, award, awards, ceremony
"O.K., where's the famine?"
Tags:famine, word play, play on words, car, cars, police, police officer, police officers, authorities, authority, cop, cops, traffic cop, traffic cops, speeding, over the limit, over the speed limit, speed limit, speed limits, in a rush, in a hurry, hot dog cart, food cart, street food, food, foods, ticket, tickets, speeding ticket, pulled over, food truck, food trucks, food stall, food stand, hot dog vendor, hot dog stand, law and order
"Don't worry about it—when we get to the courtroom, you can borrow my comb."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, case, cases, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, accused, police, police officer, police officers, security, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barrister, judge, judges, comb, combs, hair, hairdo, hairstyle, messy, messy hair, messed up, bad hair day, personal appearance, style, styles, covered, hide, hidden, face, faces, identity, tv, tvs, television, televisions, camera, cameras, news
A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, cowboy, cowboys, wild west, western, westerns, old west, shooting, weapon, weapons, firearm, firearms, gun, guns, gun control, firearms regulation, gun violence, gun crime, armed, armed response, holster, holsters, military, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, officer, officers, firearms unit, firearm units, armed unit, armed units, violence, violent, security, guard dog, guard dogs, guarding, law enforcement
"Officer, this man is making tunnels."
"How's everything tonight? Can I start you off with a summons for parking on the sidewalk?"
Tags:parking violation, traffic violation, traffic cop, traffic police, crimes, criminal, criminals, under arrest, arrested, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, policeman, policemen, restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waiters, server, servers, dining, parking ticket, parking tickets, summons, summons to court, bad driver, bad drivers, bad driving
"If I'd known shopping could be this easy, I would have dressed up as a cop ages ago!"
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, costume, costumes, dress up, dress-up, dressing up, dressed up, disguise, disguised, disguises, shopping, shopper, shoppers, impostor, impostors, parking, city life, urban life, modern life, modern times, shortcut, shortcuts, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, city parking
"Honey, I still think you're the greatest."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, wife, wives, husband, husbands, criminal, criminals, crimes, criminal justice, law, police, police officer, officers, officer, cop, cops, arrest, arrested, arresting, arrests, nonchalant, nonchalance, unfased, unfazed, concerned, unconcerned, worried, not worried, trust, trusting, trusted, trusts, belief, believe, believes, faith, faithful, faithfulness, support, supportive, supports, verbal support
"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."
Tags:criminal, criminals, crimes, law, laws, order, law and order, police, policing, catch, catching, catch and release, release, releasing, releases, catches, caught, arrest, arrested, arresting, cops, cop, fish, fishing, hunt, hunting, hunter, fisher, fisherman, angler, angle, angling, sport, sporting, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, human rights, abuse, abuses, sport fishing, cruel, cruelty, abuser, abusers
"Ow! Don't smush so hard, meatball!"
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, detective, detectives, police detective, police detectives, investigation, investigations, police investigation, police investigations, fingerprint, fingerprints, fingerprinting, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, smush, smushing, squish, squishing, hurt, pain, painful, booking, arresting, arrest, arrests
"Look, I did bring you in here for questioning. I want to know if you like my new tie."
Tags:police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, detective, detectives, police detective, police detectives, investigation, investigations, police investigation, police investigations, interview, interviews, interrogation, interrogations, questioning, suspect, suspects, fashion, clothes, clothing, menswear, men's fashion, men's clothing, men's clothes, accessory, accessories, tie, ties, necktie, neckties, new, like, opinion, opinions, loud, colourful, colorful, crazy, design, pattern, unique
A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.
Tags:giant, giants, crimes, criminal, criminals, police, police officer, police officers, policemen, policeman, line-up, police line-up, identity parade, line-ups, police line-ups, identity parades, identify, identifying, identifies, point out, fairytale, fairytales, fantasy, fantastical, mythical creature, mythical creatures
"The charge is driving without a tree."
"Hey! You're pinching me!"