"I can read you your rights, or you can listen to your rights on tape."
Tags:rights, miranda rights, reading rights, read you your rights, police, policeman, police officer, police officers, arrest, arresting, arrested, perp, perpetrator, criminal, criminals, suspect, suspects, reading, read, reading aloud, read aloud, audiobooks, audiobook, tape, tapes, recording, recording, lazy, laziness, absurd, absurdist, listen, listening
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, law, laws, crime, crimes, law and order, criminal, criminals, aiding, accessory, accessory to crime, abetting, police, policeman, policemen, policewoman, policewomen, cop, cops, feds, government
"Your call is important to us."
Tags:call line, call lines, call-line, call-lines, helpline, helplines, help-line, help-lines, skeleton, skeletons, bone, bones, corpse, police, policemen, policeman, detective, detectives, crime, crimes, crime scene, crime scenes, customer service, customer services, call centre, call centres, call center, call centers, hold, put on hold, wait, patience, patient
"That's him—the one on the right."
Tags:evolve, evolved, evolves, evolution, evolutionary, line up, line-up, police lineup, lineup, police, policeman, cop, cops, police man, officer, officers, police officer, ape, apes, monkey, monkeys, prehistory, prehistoric, history, historical, science, theory, theory of evolution, darwin, darwinism, creation, creationism
"O.K., folks, let's break it up."
Tags:gun, guns, gun control, gun law, gun laws, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, gun violence, mexican standoff, standoff, shoot, shooting, handgun, handguns, violence, mass shooting, mass shootings, school shooting, school shootings, murder, public shooting, police, policeman, policemen, cop, cops, authority
"They're going to make it tough for you around here when they find out you used to be a cop."
Tags:prison, prisoners, prisoner, cops, cop, ex cop, ex policeman, prison cell, police, policeman, crime, criminal, criminals, crimes, jail, jails, incarceration, incarcerated, sentence, sentencing, cellmates, inmate, inmates, law breaker, law breakers, law breaking, law and order, police officer, police officers, law enforcement, law enforcement officers, law enforcement officer, jailbird, jailbirds, tough, rough, hard, difficult, secret, secrets, secretive, giveaway, giveaways
"Sorry to crash the party, folks, but all the little people that made it happen were just discovered buried in a shallow grave outside Bakersfield."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor, dead, die, died, death, dying, killed, killing, killer, killers, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, investigate, investigative, investigator, investigators, fbi, f.b.i., federal bureau of investigation, detective, detectives, police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, hollywood, bakersfield, california, award, awards, ceremony
"Officer, this man is making tunnels."
"How's everything tonight? Can I start you off with a summons for parking on the sidewalk?"
Tags:parking violation, traffic violation, traffic cop, traffic police, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, under arrest, arrested, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, policeman, policemen, restaurant, restaurants, waiter, waiters, server, servers, dining, parking ticket, parking tickets, summons, summons to court, bad driver, bad drivers, bad driving
"Yes. I heard a scream and a cry for help. And then there was some very ominous music."
Tags:ominous music, gunshot, gunshots, gun shot, gun shots, gun-shot, gun-shots, gun, guns, 999, 911, emergency number, emergency numbers, cop, cops, policemen, policeman, emergency response, emergency responses, rescue, drama, dramas, dramatic music, cop drama, cop dramas, police drama, police dramas
"We've been getting a lot of calls saying that you're a terrible magician."
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, policewoman, policewomen, cop, cops, law enforcement, magic, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, complain, complaints, complaint, fraud, fake, faker, fakers, scam, sawing a woman in half, magician's assistant, magician's assistants, magic show, magic shows
"All right, you're free to go. We're in this for the sport - catch and release only."
Tags:crime, criminal, criminals, crimes, law, laws, order, law and order, police, policing, catch, catching, catch and release, release, releasing, releases, catches, caught, arrest, arrested, arresting, cops, cop, fish, fishing, hunt, hunting, hunter, fisher, fisherman, angler, angle, angling, sport, sporting, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, human rights, abuse, abuses, sport fishing, cruel, cruelty, abuser, abusers
A giant hand identifies giant legs in a police line-up.
Tags:giant, giants, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, police, police officer, police officers, policemen, policeman, line-up, police line-up, identity parade, line-ups, police line-ups, identity parades, identify, identifying, identifies, point out, fairytale, fairytales, fantasy, fantastical, mythical creature, mythical creatures
"Hey! You're pinching me!"
Good stripper cop / Bad stripper cop
Tags:cop, cops, interrogation, interrogations, interrogate, interrogates, interrogating, strip, strips, stripping, good cop, bad cop, routine, routines, exotic dancer, exotic dancers, policeman, policemen, police man, police men, question, questions, questioning, suspect, suspects, cliche, cliches, cliched, dancer, dancers, exotic dancer, exotic dancers
"Did he have any distinguishing characteristics besides a strong sense of entitlement?"
Tags:crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, robbed, robber, robbers, robbery, mugged, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, policeman, policemen, entitlement, entitled, old people, elder, elders, elderly, old man, old men, old woman, old women, old lady, old ladies, arrogance, arrogant, angry, anger, description, characteristics
"Oh, great! Here comes the policeman of the world again."
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, policeman of the world, policemen of the world, king of the jungle, egotist, egotists, egotism, egotistical, king of the jungle, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, natural world, animal kingdom, animal, monkey, monkeys, ape, apes, ape man, ape men
"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."
Tags:cop, cops, officer, officers, police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, police man, police men, questioning, questions, interrogate, interrogation, interrogating, interrogates, meet the parents, meeting parents, first meeting, meet the family, dating, date, dates, information, social, socialise, socialising, good cop, good cop bad cop, officer of the law, law, law enforcement, legal, mother, mothers, ironic, irony, situation, situational, criminal, criminals
"I found him all balled up in a fetal position, but I thought he looked more interesting this way."
Slammer on the Spot
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, police man, police men, cop, cops, copper, coppers, crime, crimes, misdemeanour, misdemeanours, criminal, criminals, prison, prisons, slammer, the slammer, gaol, gaols, jail, jails, lock-up, lock-ups, lock up, lock up, street crime, street crimes, minor crime, minor crimes, arrest, arrested, locked up, detention, detained, incarceration, incarcerated, convenient, convenience, ea
Uncle Sam tries on a police hat.
Tags:uncle sam, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, american symbol, american symbols, personification, hat, hats, cap, caps, top hat, top hats, police hat, police hat, police, police officer, police officers, policeman, policemen, cop, cops, police state, politics, government, governments, authority, power, democracy, undemocratic
"They never saw it coming."
Tags:crime, crimes, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, crime scene, crime scenes, crime scene investigation, crime scene investigations, crime scene investigator, crime scene investigators, csi, police, police officer, police officers, police man, police men, policeman, policemen, chalk outline, chalk outlines, evidence, matisse, henri matisse, artist, artists, expressionism, expressionist, expressionists, famous artist, famous artists, fauvism, fauvist, fauvists, post impressionism, post-impressionism, post impressionist, post impressionist, dance, matisse dance, famous painting, famous paintings, dancers, dancer, dancing
"We had to let the animals go. No one informed them of their rights when they were arrested."
Tags:animal, animals, zoo, zoos, zoology, zoologist, zoologists, guard, guards, law, laws, law and order, rights, nature, wild, captive, animal rights, set free, miranda rights, police, policemen, policewomen, policeman, policewoman, cop, cops, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, authority, authority figure, authority figures, innocent, innocents
"Sir, he left a suicide deck."