Portfolios Cartoons

"I was spreading some risk around, and apparently it all wound up in your portfolio."

"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."

"The little pig with the portfolio of straw and the little pig with the portfolio of sticks were swallowed up, but the little pig with the portfolio of bricks withstood the dip in the market."

"Looks like broker-assisted suicide."

"What do you have in investment-grade reds?"

Build Your Own Portfolio

"I came out O.K. Everything I had was in baseball cards."

"I still haven't found any gold for my portfolio."

"When do we all start frantically buying gold again?"

"Do you ever feel as though the portfolio of your manhood should have included combat?"

"How about that! We're both carrying the same de-luxe executive personal-management portfolio."

"Hon, would you say a kind word to Maria? She's entirely in technology stocks."

"...and help my parents to pick the right mutual funds in my portfolio for my education..."

"I suppose I'm as happy as my portfolio will allow me to be."

"Rosalie—your poor performance this year has reduced your parents' investment in you by almost seventy per cent."

Cocktail Napkins for Today

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

"I just don't see how an index fund tied to batting averages actually works."

"My 401(k) is safe. It's tied up in booze futures."

"Be that way, Marilyn. You weren't sneering at me when I was managing your portfolio."

"Before interest rates get any higher, maybe we should start thinking about investing in a second elephant."

Museum of Art School Portfolios

"This doesn't have anything to do with the falling price of oil, does it?"

"So leaving it with a broker didn't do any good at all?"

"The market might have been up today but many investors were wrapped in plastic and duct tape."