"That's an excellent prescreened question, but before I give you my stock answer I'd like to try to disarm everyone with a carefully rehearsed joke."
Tags:politics, politician, politicians, debate, debates, political debate, political debates, speech, speeches, presentation, presentations, election, elections, public speaking, public debate, public debates, pre-screen question, pre-screened questions, question, questions, stock answer, stock answers, answer, answers, rehearse, rehearsal, rehearsals, rehearsed, joke, jokes, candidate, candidates, political candidate, political candidates, debating, podium, podiums, audience, auditorium, auditoriums, stage, stages, presidential candidate, presidential candidates, presidential election, presidential elections, campaign, campaigns, political, prepared, preparation, preparations, disarm
"Look, I'm not saying it's going to be today. But someday - someday - you guys will be happy that you've taken along a lawyer."
Tags:legal representation, legal representative, legal representatives, representative, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, prepare, prepared, always be prepared, overprepare, overprepared, toboggan, toboggans, sled, sleds, sledding, prepare for the worst, safety, personal injury, solicitor, solicitors, legal team, legal teams
Man on a sinking ship blowing up an inflatable desert island.
Tags:ship, ships, boat, boats, storm, storms, stormy, rain, rainy, sea, seas, ocean, sinking, sinking ship, sinking ships, capsize, going down, inflate, inflatables, blow-up, blow up, blowing up, island, islands, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, shipwreck, shipwrecks, shipwrecked, lifeboat, lifeboats, sailing, sailboat, sailboats, sailor, sailors, modern life, convenient, convenience, emergency, emergencies, safety, prepared, cliche, cliches, cartoon cliches
"Must you use those three-by-five cards every time we have a discussion?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, discussion, discussions, discussing, card, cards, prompt cards, speech cards, prompts, talking points, speaking points, presentation, presentations, prepared, presenter, presenters, speech, speeches, prepare speech, prepared speeches, memory, bad memory, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, over the hill, over-the-hill, politician, politicians
"The January issue comes out in October, the April issue comes out in January, the July issue comes out in April, and October issue comes out in July, but I don't have any of them."
Tags:modern world, modern-world, modern life, modern-life, issue, issues, magazine, magazines, zines, zine, newspaper, newspapers, time, timing, times, nonsensical, stupid, illogical, news papers, news paper, paper, papers, periodicals, prepare, prepared, preparing, prepared, newstand, news stand, newsstand, selling, sales, sold, pointless, disappointed, disappointment
Going to Hell?
Tags:hell, underworld, prepare, prepared, preparing, prepares, leaflet, leaflets, pamphlet, pamphlets, flyer, flyers, advice, advise, advising, advises, preparations, preparation, hells, devil, devils, afterlife, after-life, afterlives, after-lives, christianity, religion, relgions, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, agent, agents, travel agent, travel agents
"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, old testament, genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, big boat, big boats, large boat, large boats, animal, animals, pairs, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, weather, bad weather, storm, storms, stormy, rain, raining, rainy, tropical storm, tropical storms, hurricane, hurricanes, cyclone, cyclones, typhoon, typhoons, natural disaster, natural disasters, flood, flooding great flood, downgraded, silly, feel silly, prepared, emergency preparedness, prepared for an emergency, preparing for an emergency, emergency, emergencies, disaster, disasters, safety, safety precaution, safety precautions, evacuating, evacuation, evacuations
"No, I don't want a glass of water, but I'm worried that I might want one."
"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, food, meal, meals, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, customer, customers, patron, patrons, guest, guests, question, questions, questioning, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, ordering food, prepared, food preparation, allergy, allergies, food allergy, food allergies, food intolerance, food intolerances, picky, fussy, choosy, dietary issues, dietary needs, dietary requirement, dietary requirements, peanut butter, jelly, peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly sandwich, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, peanut-butter-and-jelly, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, sandwich, sandwiches, kids, kid, child, children, picky eater, picky eaters
"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."
Tags:prep, prepper, preppers, dystopia, dystopian, doomsday, dooms day, doom, conspiracy, conspiracies, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theories, theory, theories, gun, guns, ak, can, cans, radio, radios, bullet, bullets, prepare, prepared, preparedness, independence, independent, worst case, worst case scenario, end of the world, end times, crazy, garage, disaster, natural disaster, armageddon, doom sayer, neighbour, neighbor, neighbors
"That's Jeremy. He never deviates from his prepared text."
Tags:prepared text, prepared texts, speech, speeches, flirt, flirts, flirtation, flirtations, unscripted, scripted, cocktail party, cocktail parties, deviate, deviates, deviation, deviating, script, scripted, scripts, scripted conversation, conversation, conversations, conversationalist, conversationalists, spontaneous, spontaneity, prepared remarks, prepared, preparation, preparations
"The farmers' Almanac is calling for a long, hard winter."
Tags:farmer, farmers, farming, farms, farmers almanac, weather, weather predictions, weather forecast, weather forecasts, winter, winters, harsh winter, harsh winters, prepare, prepared, prep, prepper, preppers, winter stores, squirrel, squirrels, squirrel and grasshopper, childrens tales, childrens stories, anthropomorphism
"OPEC tighten the screws. the Larned A. Corys are ready."
Tags:petroleum, petrol, fuel, heating, log burner, log burners, hoarding fuel, hoarding logs, wood burner, wood burners, fireplace, fireplaces, prepared, over-prepared, over prepared, fuel shortage, fuel shortages, oil shortage, oil shortages, oil crisis, oil shock, the oil shock, 1970s, 1979, price of oil, raising prices, raised prices, unaffordable, rich people, rich person
"I know you think I'm tough on you now, son. But you'il be much better prepared for life when I disinherit you."
"Mrs. Martin is here. She's the new substitute teacher."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, teacher life, substitute, substitutes, substitute teacher, substitute teachers, principal, principals, elementary school, primary school, junior high school, middle school, high school, secondary school, military, armor, armour, helmet, helmets, bulletproof vest, bulletproof vests, prepared, ready for battle, prepared for battle, soldier, soldiers, safety, protection
"Now remember, children, if you get lost just show someone your hat, your t-shirt, your sign and your flag, and then say 'I'm from Central Elementary', just to make sure."
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, teacher life, kid, kids, child, children, field trip, field trips, class trip, class trips, school trip, school trips, day trip, day trips, school outing, school outings, lost, lost child, lost children, lost kids, getting lost, identification, identifier, identifiers, overprepared, prepared, modern life, elementary school, primary school
"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office life, meeting, meetings, board meeting board meetings, board member, board members, presentation, presenter, presenters, report, reports, chart, charts, graph, graphs, profit, profits, result, results, preparation, prepared, wishful thinking, looking ahead, optimism, optimistic, optimist, optimists, positive thinking, unrealistic, fantasy, finances
Al, The Go-From Guy
Tags:go-to guy, go to guy, big boss, the big guy, men, man, office, office life, insecure, insecurity, inept, ineptitude, incapable, desk jockey, unreliable, unstable, instability, rely, word-play, play on words, word play, businessmen, business men, business man, business man, prepare, prepared, unprepared, that guy, unhelpful, useless
"I fail to see why this is such an achievement."
Tags:duck, ducks, geese, anatidae, achieve, achievement, success, successes, ducks in row, ducks in a line, mother duck, ducklings, have you ducks in a row, having you ducks in a row, organise, organised, organisation, organize, organized, organization, prepare, prepared, well prepared, arranged, arrangement, expression, expressions, common expressions, common expression, cliche, cliches
"I know doesn't look like I'm doing anything, but I'm like a cat ready to pounce."
Tags:lazy, laziness, shirk, shirking, shirker, shirkers, slacking, slacker, slackers, prepared, preparedness, ready, wait, waiting, employee, employees, bad employee, bad employees, excuse, excuses, offices, office job, office jobs, making excuses, office worker, office workers, bad excuse, bad excuses
"Looks like the end of civilization as they know it."
Tags:nuke, nukes, nuclear bomb, nuclear bombs, nuclear war, nuclear wars, icbm, icbms, ballistic missile, ballistic missiles, last to know, prepare, prepared, preparation, preparations, well-prepared, simple life, living simply, bomb, bombs, bombing, bombing campaign, bystander, bystanders, unconcerned
"Honestly, Harry, I'll never tease you again for carrying around that elephant gun!"
Tags:elephant, elephants, elephant gun, elephant guns, shoot, shoots, shooting, safety, safety first, always be prepared, prepared, preparedness, tease, teases, teasing, gun nut, gun nuts, concealed carry, concealed carry law, concealed carry laws, open carry law, open carry laws, rifle, rifles, overprepare, overpreparedness, hunter, hunters, hunting, trophy hunter, trophy hunters, trophy hunting
"Let me know when you want to start the operation."
Tags:check-up, check-ups, check up, check ups, experimental, experiment, drug, surgeon, surgeons, doctor, doctors, clinic, clinics, hospital, hospitals, get well, get well soon, spin, spin doctor, operation, operating, operating theater, operating theatre, operate, operates, bar, bars, bar flies, bar fly, barflies, bar-fly, mentally prepared, prepared
"We have no funding for disasters that have not yet happened..."
"Good, bad: who cares? Did you bring cash?"
Tags:dead, death, afterlife, heaven, heavens, pearly gates, white gates, gates to heaven, gateway, gateways, final judgement, the final judgement, cash, bribe, bribes, bribery, bribing, good, good person, good people, bad, bad person, bad people, hell, angel, angels, pay, paying, pay your way in, pay off, pay offs, paid off, prepare, prepared, corrupt, corruption