"You have a lot of boring health issues, so I'm prescribing medical marijuana for myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, patient, patients, doctors office, doctors offices, medical, medical center, medical centers, medical centre, medical centres, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, drug, marijuana, mary j, ganja, pot, weed, hash, hashish, hemp, smoke, smoking, joint, blunt, bong, medicinal, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stress, stressed out, legalized, legalised, legalisation, legalization, health issue, bore, bored, boring
"Don't worry we'll medicate you through the probationary period."
Tags:human, resources, human resources, hr, h r, h.r., employ, employed, employer, employee, employs, recruit, recruited, recruitment, recruiting, pill, pills, medical, medicine, medicines, pill bottle, pill bottles, tablet, tablets, prescription, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, corporate, corporation, depressed, depression, depressing, depresses, critic, critical, critique, social critique, big business, capitalism, capitalist, capitalism, sacrifice, sacrifices, workplace, working, work, workplaces, worker, abuse of power, power
Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary
Tags:marijuana, pot, medical marijuana, legalize, legalizes, legalizing, legalization, legalise, legalises, legalisation, legal, legality, dispensary, dispensaries, mary jane, ganja, cannabis use, cannabis user, cannabis users, dispensation, munchies, get the munchies, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, recreational, recreational use, snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, business idea, business ideas, make money, makes money, making money, moneymaking, synergy, corporate synergy, symbiotic, symbiosis, drug, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, appetite
"Yes, everything—I need a list of all the medications you're on."
Tags:medication, medications, prescription, prescriptions, overprescribe, overprescribes, overprescribing, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, drug, drug use, prescription drugs, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, big pharma, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, patient, patients, excessive, treatment, treatments, overmedication, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatric, psychiatry
"You aren't getting enough clothing."
Tags:doctor, doctors, doctors surgery, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnoses, clothes, clothing, under dressed, under-dressed, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, patient, patients, medicine, medical, unusual, obvious, obviously, non medical, disease, diseases, diseased, treatment, treatments, socially conservative, conservative, diagnostic, diagnostics
"Of course you feel great. These things are loaded with antidepressants."
Tags:monsters, monster, beast, beasts, dragons, dragon, dinosaur, dinosaurs, carnivores, carnivore, man-eater, man-eaters, invasion, invaded, invade, destroy, destroyed, snack, snacks, food, foods, medicine, medicines, medication, medications, medical, prescription, prescriptions, antidepressants, antidepressant, mental health, mental illness, depression, anxiety, stress, over medicate, doctor, doctors, drug, drugged, pharmaceutical, overmedicate, overmedicates, overmedicating, overmedication, over-medicates, over-medicating, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, prescription, prescriptions
"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."
Tags:pill, pills, tablet, tablets, medicine, medicines, doctor, doctors, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, prescriptions, prescribed, ocd, obsessive compulsive, obsessive compulsive disorder, tidy, tidying, tidied, organize, organized, organise, organise, selfish, selfishly, bedside manner, bad manners, inconsiderate, psych, psychiatrist, psychiatric, therapy, therapist, therapies, parody, parodied, over the counter, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals
"It used to be enough to just stop. Now I need to stop and take an aspirin."
Tags:headache, headaches, cure, cures, curing, remedy, remedies, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, stop, stops, stopping, hammer, hammers, bump, bumps, bumping, checkup, checkups, doctor, doctors, family doctor, family doctors, paracetamol, acetaminophen, ibuprofen, tablet, tablets, pill, pills, pill popper, pill poppers, pill popping
"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"
Tags:herbalist, herbalists, herbalism, herbivore, herbivores, remedy, remedies, natural remedy, natural remedies, healthy, ill, illness, sick, sickness, under the weather, treatment, treatments, medication, medications, new age, new age medication, new age medications, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, medication, medications, traditional medicine, traditional medicines, home remedy, home remedies, cow, cows, cattle, vegetarian, vegetarians
"I must confess I've never seen such an unfortunate side reaction to penicillin."
Tags:penicillin, reaction, reactions, side effect, side effects, averse reaction, averse reactions, symptom, symptoms, bad reaction, bad reactions, transform, transforms, transforming, doctor, doctors, prescription, prescriptions, prescribe, prescribes, prescribing, antibiotics, sensitive, sensitivity, frog, frogs, transformation, curse, curses, fairy tale, fairy tales, prince, princes
"Everybody back! This man's swallowed his nose! Don't panic, I'm a sheet metal worker! Someone bring me a pail of water and a catcher's mitt!"
"Don't worry. I wouldn't prescribe anything I haven't tested on myself."
Tags:doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, medic, medics, prescribe, prescribes, prescription, drug, animal, animal testing, rat, rats, test, tests, testing, animal research, in vivo, in vivo testing, unethical, animal rights, bedside manner, doctors appointment, doctors surgery, medical malpractice, reassure, reassures, reassuring, untrustworthy, sceptic, sceptical, experiment, experimentation, illness, illnesses, patient, patients