"Are we there yet?"
Tags:journey, journeys, buddhist, buddhism, monk, monks, nirvana, impatient, impatience, zen, stoic, stoicism, road trip, road trips, enlightenment, attaining enlightenment, achieving enlightenment, are we there yet, question, questions, questioning, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, teacher, teachers, priest, priests
"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."
"You may now begin your insane experiment."
"Three 'a's, of course, in Barbara?"
"'Kchow! Kchow! The roscoe spoke twice, and Mike dodged behind a-' Hang on, wrong book."
Tags:priest, priests, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, marry, marries, marrying, wedding, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, bible, bible reading, bible readings, biblical, bible story, bible stories, parable, parables, wrong book, wrong books, book, books, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, accident, accidents, accidental, embarrass, embarrasses, embarrassing, faux pas
"Do you think of yourself as a spiritual person?"
"We'd like you to leave out the poorer, sickness, and death parts - they're a little dark."
Tags:vow, vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, personal vow, personal vows, marriage ceremony, marriage ceremonies, 'til death do us part, depressing, depression, depression, dark, sickness, wedding, weddings, bride, brides, groom, grooms, minister, ministers, request, requests, requesting, marriage vow, marriage vows, priest, priests, favor, favors, favour, favours, ask a favor, asking a favor
"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, wedding, weddings, wedding ceremony, wedding ceremonies, wedding vows, vows, exchanging vows, saying i do, bride, brides, groom, grooms, second marriage, re-marriage, meeting, meetings, agenda, agendas, minutes, record, records, divorce, divorces, ex, exes, divorcee, divorcees, multiple marriages, minister, ministers, priest, priests, clergyman, clergymen, pastor, pastors, modern life
"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"
"And the Lord spoke to the children of Israel and said, 'Thou must forswear these practices which are a blasphemy and an abomination in my sight, you know what I'm saying?'"
Tags:religion, religious, church, churches, priest, priests, minister, ministers, pastor, pastors, clergyman, clergymen, reverend, reverends, preacher, preachers, sermon, sermons, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, moses, commandment, commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, decalogue, casual, informal, understandable, slang, modern language, modern english, modern life, you know
"He's very angry. He wanted the tuna and egg."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, feline, felines, cat owner, cat owners, food, cat food, religion, religious, pagan, god, gods, offering, offerings, angry, upset, unhappy, tuna, egg, priest, priests, high priest, high priests, temple, temples, statue, statues, ancient, history, historical
A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk
Tags:dead, death, funeral, funerals, grave, graves, tomb, tombs, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, burial, burials, priest, priests, businessmen, businessman, desk, desks, business executive, business executive, executive, executives, workaholic, workaholics, work to death, overwork, work, career, careers, job, jobs, manager, managers, management, pallbearer, pallbearers
"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."
Tags:priest, priests, vicar, vicars, church, churches, sermon, sermons, homily, homilies, boring sermon, boring sermons, church service, church services, the bible, old testament, the old testaments, scripture, quote, quotes, deuteronomy, book of deuteronomy, cherry picking, word of god, bible studies
"Of course, my confessions probably aren't nearly as interesting as yours."
"I've forgotten what I want to be remembered for."
"He knows what you did in Las Vegas."
Today's semon by the Rev. Robert Smith (Never on TV)
Tags:church, churches, christianity, christian, christians, church goer, church goers, mass, not famous, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, minister, ministers, religion, religions, religious, tv, tvs, television, televisions, show, shows, tv show, tv shows, television show, television shows
"Isn't he wonderful? You get the feeling he's looking and talking directly to you."
"Do you, Eleanor, agree to be exhausted as one."
"I see the radiator's Baroque again."
Tags:church, churches, cathedral, cathedrals, organ, organs, organ pipes, church organ, church organs, organist, organists, radiator, radiators, heat, heaters, steam heat, steam heaters, noisy heater, noisy heaters, banging pipes, plumbing, plumber, priest, priests, preacher, preacher, deacon, deacons, vicar, vicars, organ player, organ players, pipe organ, pipe organs, church choir, church choirs, baroque, play on words, pianist, pianists, musician, musicians
"How many bad habits do you have to have to equal once vice?"
Tags:habit, habits, bad habit, bad habits, sins, vice, vices, morality, ethics, ethical, penance, forgiveness, hail mary, priest, priests, minister, ministers, religion, repentance, repent, mortal sin, mortal sins, religion, catholicism, christianity, church, churches, places of worship, place of worship, level of offense, guilt, conscience
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers
"I'm afraid this is auf Wiedersehen, Padre. Estelle and I are setting up our own little religion."
"I'm between congregations."
Tags:conman, conmen, con man, con men, con-man, con-men, con, cons, scam, scams, scam artist, scam artists, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, vicar, vicars, priest, priests, evangelical, evangelicals, congregation, congregations, follower, followers, spiritual leader, spiritual leaders, religious leader, religious leaders, prisoner, prisoners, prison, prisons, jail, jails, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals
"His sermon last Sunday, 'The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth,' had them rolling in the aisles."
Tags:meek, shall inherit the earth, sermon on the mount, sermon, sermons, christ, jesus christ, sermon, sermons, minister, ministers, reverend, reverends, priest, priests, unholy, sunday, church, churches, churchgoer, churchgoers, blasphemy, blasphemer, congregation, congregations, greed, greedy, greediness, modern life, modern times