"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service
"Sorry folks-it's not what you ordered, but everyone is getting fettucine until we fix the computer."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, eating out, dining out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, pasta, fettuccine, order, orders, ordering, pos system, pos systems, point of sale, system, systems, system failure, problem, problems, computer, computers, issue, issues, cooking, serving, kitchen, kitchens, chef, chefs, failure, failures, modern life, restaurant problems, restaurant issues, technology
"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, bad sign, maintenance, maintenance crew, problem, problems, fixing, repairing, repair, repairs, safety, apprehension, foreboding, fear, fearful, anxiety, anxious, transportation
"So–what seems to be the problem?"
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, problem, problems, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, hat, hats, head, heads, sitting
"You've got someone's shirt caught on your left horn."
Tags:viking, vikings, pillage, pillaging, raid, raiding, less talking more raiding, ancient, ancient history, historical, horned, horn, horns, horned helmet, helmet, helmets, caught, problem, problems, hat, hats, shirt, shirts, boat, longboat, norse, nordic, armor, armour, europe, european history, european, myth, myths, mythology, early modern, medieval
"You know, doctor, right now I'd really prefer if your sense of humor were a tad less self-deprecating."
Tags:expert, expertise, surgery, surgeries, operation, operations, operate, under the knife, self-deprecating, self-deprecation, unnerve, unnerves, unnerving, upset, upsets, upsetting, surgeon, surgeons, sense of humor, senses of humor, sense of humour, senses of humour, problem, problems, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiety, anxieties, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, bedside manner, manner, manners
"Being in possession of great wealth made me a bit self-conscious at first, but I finally came to terms with it."
Tags:money, wealth, wealthy, rich, riches, filthy rich, self conscious, self-conscious, wealth conscious, wealth-conscious, easy, came to terms, got over, get over it, affluent, well off, minted, small violin, problem, problems, real problems, psychology, overcome, overcomes, out of touch, out-of-touch
"But Moses, if I let your people go I'll have to let everybody's people go."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, biblical, old testament, exodus, book of exodus, moses, pharaoh, pharaohs, egypt, ancient egypt, israelite, people, let go, everybody, government, governments, politics, lithuania, gorbachev, mikhail gorbachev, communism, communist, communists, soviet russia, soviet union, russia, russian, history, historical, lithuanian independence, sovereignty, problem, problems
"There's your problem."
Tags:baseball, baseball player, baseball players, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, tip, tips, athlete, athletes, athletic, pitching coach, pitching coaches, coach, coaches, coaching, throw, throws, throwing, problem, problems, pitch, pitches, football, footballs, train, trains, training, spring training
"It may surprise you to know that, contrary to your experience, you're actually very happily married."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issue, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, counselor, counselors, counseling, marriage counsellor, marriage counsellors, marriage counselling, marriage counselor, marriage counselors, marriage counseling, therapist, therapists, therapy, couple, couples, happily married, married couple, married couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, divorce, divorced, split, splitting, separation, separating, issues, issue, problem, problems, surprise, experience, experiences
"Mr. Bush, this is Vytautas Landsbergis, in Vilnius. Guess what."
Tags:government, governments, president, presidents, politics, lithuania, vilnius, baltic, vytautas landsbergis, landsbergis, communism, communist, communists, soviet russia, soviet union, russia, russian, history, historical, lithuanian independence, sovereignty, problem, problems, oil, oil well, oil wells, gushing, george h.w. bush, george bush sr., gulf war, persian gulf, money, war, wars, energy, greed, greedy, taking advantage, using, excuse, excuses, invasion, invasions, invade, oil production, oil industry, energy industry, oil reserves, strategy, strategies, strategic
Bat hanging upside down drops all his money, matches and keys.
"I'm allergic to the sun."
"Carol, check my appointment book—something's not right."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, appointment, appointments, meeting, meetings, appointment book, appointment books, schedule, timetable, agenda, not right, wrong, mistake, mistakes, error, errors, problem, problems, lost, confused, wrong place, incorrect, incorrect address, incorrect addresses, wrong address, wrong addresses, forest, forests, woods, secretary, secretaries, receptionist, receptionists, assistant, assistants, directions, check, double-check
"O.K., Chief, see if she starts now."
"Look, you're not the only one with problems."
"Where's the ball? Where's the ball?"
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, sleep, sleeping, insomnia, night, nighttime, bed, beds, bedtime, sleepless, can't sleep, wide awake, lying awake, thinking, thought, thoughts, ball, fetch, fetching, playing fetch, problem, problems, anxiety, stress, worried, worry, worries, mental health
"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, counselor, counselor, counsellors, counsellors, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, client, clients, judge, judges, law, legal, justice, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, court case, court cases, trial, trials, problem, problems, stress, stressed, stressful, yoga, yoga position, yoga positions, yoga pose, yoga poses, handstand, handstands, meditation, meditating, fitness, exercise
"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."
Tags:rescue, rescuing, initiative, meeting, meetings, inefficient, inefficiency, life guard, life-guard, lifeguards, discuss, discussing, discussion, business, businesses, boardroom, boardrooms, problem, problems, decision, decisions, indecisive, agenda, agendas, bureaucracy, bureaucratic, bureaucracy, pointless, initiatives
"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"
Tags:date, dating, dates, first dates, first date, nature, natural disaster, disaster, disasters, explode, explosion, explosions, doomsday, doomsayer, end times, end of the world, apocalypse, apocalyptic, destruction, world ending, optimism, optimist, polite, politeness, etiquette, least of our worries, least of our problems, problem, problems, cataclysm, cataclysmic, catastrophe, catastrophic, death, dead, dying, died
"Sorry. I was expecting the lady. I can see you're busy. I'll call sometime. We'll do lunch."
Tags:lady or the tiger, logic, logic puzzle, logic puzzles, puzzle, puzzles, game, games, problem, problems, solution, solutions, expectation, expectations, predator, predators, schmooze, schmoozes, schmoozer, schmoozers, schmoozing, wild animal, wild animals, door-to-door, salesman, salesmen, salesperson, salespeople
"It's been weeks since you brought me exculpatory lilies."
Tags:flower, flowers, gift, gifts, guilt, guilty, guilty conscience, guilty consciences, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, infidelity, spouse, spouses, unfaithfulness, lilies, lily, florist, florists, motivation, motivations, motivate, motivates, motivating, vase, vases, apology, apologies, apologize, apologizes, apologizing, apologise, apologises, apologising, problem, problems
"I love you anyway, too."
Tags:communication, communicate, communicating, communicated, communicates, talking, talk, talks, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, language, romance, romantic, married, married life, old married couple, couple, couples, angry, anger, angered, dredging, dredged, young love, trouble, troubled, problem, problems, wit, witty, response, acting, acting skill, marriage counselling, counselling, counselors, marriage counselors, marriage counselor
"What with the population crunch and all, we're just reproducing ourselves and letting it go at that."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, reproduction, reproducing, population, depopulation, overpopulation, birthrate, birthrates, problem, problems, having kids, having children, modern life
"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, operating, o.r., o.r.s, or, ors, operating room, operating rooms, operation room, operation rooms, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, lost, sponge, sponges, problem, problems, complication, complications, mistake, mistakes, malpractice, medical malpractice