Professional Cartoons

"Security is lax on this side."

"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."

"Don't you dare put Mommy on hold again."

Three-Martini Breakfast

"Oh, can't complain, but I do."

"Can I bring you something else to complain about?"

"You realize, of course, it's not what you are that counts. It's who you know. Who do you know?

Casual Fridays

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

The Running for President Shop

"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."

"If I put mustaches on all of us, we look more like a team."

"Have you heard the news? Ben & Jerry's is turning pro."

"Springtime in New York. Ah, to be young, in love, and probably making two hundred and seventy-five thousand a year."

In-House Entertainment Consists Of Man Riding Pizza Cutter Cutting Giant Pizza While Making a Pizza

"I had it cut so I can style it professionally at work and still look stupid at night."

"Of course, this doesn't mean we can't still be contemporaries."

"I envy you—laughing all day long, and being paid for it, too!"

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"He's always on message."

Spring Training

"But what if the guy in the bleachers is right? What if I do suck?"

"I'm looking for ruling-class lite."