The End is Near
Tags:doomsayer, doomsayers, end of the world, end of the earth, apocalypse, the apocalypse, the end is nigh, the end is near, mad, mad person, mad people, crazy, crazy person, crazy people, judgement day, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, scaremonger, scaremongering, doom merchant, doom merchants
"Use a five iron!"
"No, a question period will not follow!"
Tags:sermon, sermons, jesus, sermon on the mount, preacher, preachers, minister, ministers, ministry, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, worship, worships, question session, questions sessions, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, question, questions, theology, theologian, theologians, religious debate, religious debates, religious belief, religious beliefs
" 'Mene, mene, tekel, upharsin'? What kind of cookie is this?"
Tags:fortune cookie, fortune cookies, babylon, babylonian, king, kings, mene mene tekel upharsin, prophecy, prophecies, omen, omens, warning, warnings, warning from god, warnings from god, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurant, rich, riches, blasphemy, blasphemer, blasphemous, fortune, fortunes, prediction, predictions, curse, curses, old testament, torah, belshazzar's feast, writing on the wall, daniel, arrogant, arrogance, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, cookie, cookies, dessert, desserts, humility, humble, humbles, god, jehovah
"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."
Tags:egg, eggs, easter, easter egg, easter eggs, easter bunny, easter bunnies, rabbit, rabbits, jesus, christ, resurrection, prophecy, prophecies, cognitive dissonance, tradition, traditions, celebration, celebrations, secular, secularization, secularisation, holiday, holidays, christian, christians, christianity, religious, sermon, sermons, sermon on the mount, sermons on the mount
"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, meal, meals, eating, dining, chinese food, eating out, dining out, end of the meal, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, reading fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, accurate, realistic, bad luck, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, die, fortunetelling, fortune-telling
"I'm going to need to speak to someone from either personnel or maintenance."
Fortune teller singes man's forehead.
Tags:magic, fortune teller, fortune tellers, seer, seers, magnification, fire, fires, magic power, magic powers, soothsayer, soothsayers, superstition, visual joke, visual jokes, visual gag, visual gags, convex lens, convex lenses, light concentration, crystal ball, crystal balls, self fulfilling prophecy, prophecy, prophecies
"We've travelled the world looking for our next C.E.O., as was foretold in our corporate legends. We think your little Tim might be that C.E.O."
Tags:buddhism, buddhist, buddhists, dalai lama, lama, lamas, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, corporation, corporations, nepotism, nepotistic, prophecy, prophecies, foretell, foretells, foretold, search, searches, searching, new generation, new generations, executive, executives, megacorporation, megacorporations, worldwide search, worldwide searches
The End of Printed Matter Is Near.
Tags:apocalypse, end of the world, doomsday, doomsdays, dooms-day, dooms-day, writing, written word, book, books, paperback, paperbacks, paper-back, paper-packs, printed matter, printed matters, street prophet, street prophets, street prophecy, prophecy, prophecies, ebook, ebooks, e-book, e-books, e-reader, e-readers, ereader, ereaders, digital book, digital age, digital book, digital books, hard copy, hard copies
"It says, 'There are people waiting for your table.' "
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, eating out, dining out, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, chinese food, food, meal, meals, dining, eating, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, paper fortune, paper fortunes, wait, waiting, table, tables, taking up space, table hog, table hogs, table hogging, overstaying your welcome, slow eater, slow eaters, rude, rude customer, rude customers, long wait, future, prophecy, prophecies, prediction, predictions, accurate
A turkey on a turkey farm holding a sign saying "The world will end Nov. 27".
Tags:thanksgiving, thanksgiving day, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, thanksgiving meal, thanksgiving meals, thanksgiving turkey, thanksgiving turkeys, thanksgiving holidays, animal, animals, bird, birds, turkey, turkeys, turkey farm, turkey farms, november 27th, november 27, sign, signs, warn, warning, warnings, the world will end, end of the world, the end is near, world's end, conspiracy theorist, conspiracy theorists, conspiracy theory, conspiracy theories, religion, religious, death, prophet, prophets, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, slaughter, murder, killing, problem, problems
"Whosoever pulleth this sword from this stone, and can eat just two or three of these double-chocolate Amaretto things without finishing the whole box, shall be king born of England!"
Tags:snack, snacks, snack food, snack foods, moreish, more-ish, scarf, scarfing, scarfs, cookie, cookies, biscuit, biscuits, amaretto, chocolate, chocoholic, chocoholics, sword in the stone, king arthur, merlin, overeat, overeats, overeating, eat, eats, eating, double chocolate, binge, binge eating, binge eat, king of england, prophecy, prophecies
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, chinese restaurant, chinese restaurants, food, chinese food, chinese cuisine, meal, meals, eating, dining, eating out, dining out, fortune cookie, fortune cookies, fortune, fortunes, misfortune, luck, bad luck, paper fortune, paper fortunes, future, prediction, predictions, prophecy, prophecies, pessimistic, dire, dark, death, fortunetelling, fortune-telling, threat, threats, threatening, foreboding, superstition
"I hate to say I told you so!"
Tags:chicken little, the sky is falling, proven right, prophecy, prophecies, farm, farms, farm animal, farm animals, apocalypse, apocalypses, the apocalypse, end of the world, the end of the world, farmer, farmers, farming, chicken, chickens, doomsday, chicken liken, fable, fables, fairy story, fairy stories, fairy tale, fairy tales
"Stop - that Trump cartoon you came up with this morning just happened."
"Verily I say unto you that the wife is good, but the mother-in-law..."
"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"
Tags:moses, burning bush, burning bushes, miracle, miracles, bible, bible story, bible stories, torah, prophet, prophets, prophecy, prophecies, drama queen, drama queens, dramatic, dramatics, gesture, gestures, showy, overly dramatic, lord, god, god the father, over-the-top, showy, show-off, show-offs
"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."
Tags:modern times, modern attitudes, modern life, modern technology, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, social media, social networking, social network, social networks, online messaging, online messages, on-line messaging, on-line messages, favourite, favourited, favouriting, favorite, favorited, favoriting, crystal ball, crystal balls, prophecy, prophecies, mentioned in a post, spiritual, spirituality, divination, prediction
The End Was Near.
"It says 'knock on the third door to the right and ask for Cleo.'"
Tags:egypt, egyptologist, egyptologists, egyptology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archaeology, archeology, archeologist, archeologists, instruction, instructions, follow instructions, following instructions, hieroglyphics, translate, translates, translating, translator, translator, message, messages, cryptic, ancient egypt, ancient egyptian, ancient egyptians, culture, cultures, prophecy, prophecies
"Beware the Ides of March." "Dude, it's April."