Prosecutor Cartoons

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"Don't make me come down there."

"Don't listen to him. Your hair is beautiful."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Will the witness please tell the court exactly how long he's known the accused?"

"If she sings it's over."

"Don't think of it as a conspiracy charge. Think of it as a buddy trial."

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."

"Your Honor, all this pretrial publicity has made my client look fat."

"And now a little number that asks the musical question 'Do you recognize this meat cleaver?'"

"I don't mind your acting as your own attorney, but would you please stop hopping on and off that damned chair?"

"O.K., O.K., house arrest."

"It's what I do."

Attorney-At-Sea

"A unique and stirring plea, counselor."

"Before I start my taped testimony, I should like to say a few words about Fenton's Naturally Decaffeinated Coffee."

Jumping Into the Season's First Pile of Subpoenas

"At the time of the incident, I was employed in the Dunbar house as a pet."

"Permission to treat the witness like gum stuck to the bottom of my heels?"

"And, in exchange for his testimony, your client gets to pick something nice out of our catalogue."

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

"You've been charged with driving under the influence of testosterone."