"You're cut out for this job."
Sumo on Ice
"You're kidding. I thought it was Friday."
"Of all the markets, in all the world, you had to walk into mine."
Tags:bear market, bear, bears, grizzly, grizzly bears, bear markets, annoyed, annoy, annoying disappointed, disappoint, unlucky, bad luck, bull market, drop, stock market, stock markets, stocks, share, shares, invest, investing, invests, tumbling, crisis, stockmarket, stock market crash, stockmarket crash, crash, crashes, pun, puns, visual pun
"I'm afraid the trip is off—our government is cracking down on illegal aliens."
Tags:alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, science fiction, sci-fi, spaceship, spaceships, flying saucer, fly saucers, ufo, ufos, u.f.o., u.f.o.s, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, trip, trips, travel, traveller, travellers, travelling, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourism, tourist, tourists, government, governments, immigration, immigrant, immigrants, illegal immigration, illegal alien, illegal aliens, illegal immigrant, crack down, crack downs, cracking down, foreigner, foreigners, international, bureaucracy, immigration policy, wordplay, word play, pun, puns
"You must have thought up a million jokes."
"No one comes close to him for sound bites!"
"Mr. Total Recall"
Tags:memory, remember, remembered, good memory, perfect memory, photographic, photographic memory, forget, forgetful, never forgets, never forget, introduction, old friends, reunion, reunions, old friend, pun, puns, play on words, word play, pop culture, pop, culture, reference, references, referential, film, films, movie, movies, classic cinema, cinema, literal, literal joke, literally, literal humor, literal humour, nice to meet you, meeting, meets, meet, men
"Sometimes it's easier if you break the work up into little chunks."
Armchair Is Highly Decorated
Tags:furniture, furnishing, furnishings, decor, decoration, decorate, decorated, interior design, interior, interiors, pun, puns, punny, play on words, word-play, word play, military, award, awards, badge, badges, medal, medals, recognition, experience, experienced, old chair, arm chair, armchair, lapel, lapels, general, generals, army, armies, army general, army generals
"We found you and raised you as one of us, so we were just wondering, at what point did you learn to shave?"
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, tribe, tribes, tarzan of the, pun, puns, play on words, word play, word-play, spin off, spin-off, shave, plot hole, plot holes, plot, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists
"Never bring a wife to a gunfight. That's Day One stuff, guys."
Tags:knife, knives, knife fight, robbed, rob, robbery, robbers, daylight robbery, armed robbery, armed robber, burglar, burglary, gun, guns, gunman, gunmen, stick em up, stick 'em up, criminal, criminals, image gag, pun, play on words, word play, word-play, technical, technically, technicality, heist, heists, invert, inverted, wait a minute, hobo, bum, bums, violence, street, street crime, mug, mugged, mugging, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mob boss, mob bosses, mafia, mafia boss, mafioso, organised, organized, organised crime, organized crime, criminal, criminals, wife, wives
The Euro-Trash Trashcan
Tags:euro, european, europeans, eurotrash, euro-trash, euro trash, trash, trashy, trashed, france, french, paris, parisian, eu, brexit, european union, union, europe, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, litter, littering, litters, tourist, tourism, tourists, fashion, fashions, fashionable, culture, culture shock, cultural, bin, bins, trash, trashes, trashcan, trash can, play on words, word play, pun, puns
"Barking at the mailman doesn't make you a media watchdog."
Tags:poser, posers, phony, phonies, discontent, discontents, dog, dogs, pet, pets, domestic, domestic pet, animal, animals, talking animal, post, postal, postal service, postman, postmen, post man, post office, media, media watchdog, watchdog, watch dog, pun, puns, guard, guard dog, pretense, pretenses, pretence, protest, protests, protesting, bark, barks, barking, pretend, all talk, fake news, fake, ombudsman, media watchdog, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, modern media, corrupt media, politics, political
"Nano a Nano"
Tags:nano, nano particle, nano particles, micro particle, micro particle, micro particles, particle, particles, collision, particle collision, science, medicine, technology, fight, one-to-one, one to one, man-to-man, man to man, mano a mano, mano-a-mano, confrontation, contest, competition, battle, showdown, combat, wordplay, pun
"I've got everything you've got and more - I just don't feel the need to tell the whole effin world about it"
Tarzan Of The Cranes
Tags:tarzan of the, pun, puns, play on words, word play, word-play, spin off, spin-off, crane, cranes, ape, apes, bird, birds, jungle, jungles, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists
'Where's My Job'
Tags:world of work, new job, new hire, hiring, hires, recruiting, recruitment, recruiter, human resource, human resources, hr, h r, pun, puns, word play, word-play, play on words, waldo, wally, invisible, invisible homeless, homeless, hobo, bum, job, jobs, fired, fire, unemployment, unemployed, dole, on the dole, benefits, public benefit, public benefits, beg, begging, beggar, beggars, character, characters
"C'mon, Sugar, take a walk on the mild side."
"Something from the supplement cart?"
Tags:supplement, supplements, vitamins, vitamin, minerals, mineral, diet, diet supplement, vitamin c, deficiency, deficiencies, supplementary, pun, dinner, dinners, restaurant, restaurants, dining, dine, dinner, supplementing, tablet, pills, tablets, pill, menu, sides, menus, health, healthy, fish oil, oil, cod liver oil
"You're cute, too."