"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."
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incompetence, incompetent, fired, laid off, let go, made redundant, redundant, redundancy, unemployed, unemployment, lost job, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, hiring manager, hiring managers, outsource, outsourcing, outsourced, recognition, fail, failure, failed, failing, bad employee, employee, employees, ex employee, ex employees, employer, employers, making cuts, budget cuts, office, offices"Susanna Explaining Broadband to the Elders."
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broadband, broadband connection, internet, internet connection, wifi, wi fi, wi-fi, modern life, modern times, tech, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, behind the times, out of touch, out of date, old person, old people, elderly person, elderly people, male pale stale, usurp, usurped, redundant, redundancy, made redundant, new technology, new technologies"Apparently, fifty is the new unemployed."
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ageism, ageist, ageists, unemployment, unemployed, fired, fire, fires, firing, sack, sacks, sacked, sacking, redundancy, redundancies, redundant, lay off, lay offs, lay-off, lay-offs, fifty, fifties, 50s, employment, employments, workplace prejudice, employment prejudice, hr, human resources, personnel"We don't fire people here, Thompson, we tag them and release them into the wild."
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firing, fired, sack, sacked, getting fired, getting sacked, getting the sack, released, release, release into the wild, redundant, redundancy, made redundant, animal welfare, animal right, animal right issues, animal rights activism, animal right activist, animal right activists, animal rights groups, animal rights organisation, research, researchers, researching, animal research, wildlife research, study, studies, animal behaviour studies, animal behaviours, trackers, tracking, tracers, tracing, tag, tags, tagging, animal tagging, animal tags, wildlife tagging, wildlife tags, wildlife researchers, animal researchers"Now that you've met all the people who could easily replace you, I'd like you to meet the person who is actually going to replace you."
"Got some bad news for you, Larry."
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automation, automating, fire, fired, made redundant, redundant, obsolete, obsolescence, dummy, dummies, mannequins, mannequins, workmen, caution, warning, warning, automatic, lay off, let go, workmen, technology, technologies, technological"Well, I'm sorry, Wendell, I just assumed you knew you were a frill."
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frill, unnecessary, unneeded, redundant, redundancy, unemployed, unemployment, fired, let go, laid off, extra, embellishment, employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, business, businessmen, businessman, management, hierarchy, hiring manager, word play, name calling, rude, useless, unhelpful, office, offices"I'm getting back to being able to enjoy the little things—like firing people."
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little things, the little things, fire, fired, firing, sack, sacked, sacking, can, canned, canning, getting the sack, lay off, lay offs, laid off, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, made redundant, employer, employers, sadism, enjoyment, cruel, cruelty, executive, executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, bad manager, bad managers, business manger, business managers, business executive, business executives, unemployment"We already have an eight-hundred-pound gorilla."
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800 lb gorilla, 800 pound gorilla, eight hundred pound gorilla, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, redundant, redundancy, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, personnel, personnel department, hr department, human resources, qualified, qualifying, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, stand out, stands out, standing out, unique"You've been with us a long time, Winnie, and we're prepared to offer you a generous severance package."
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animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, firing, hr, h.r., human resources, offer, offering, generous, severance, package, packages, redundant, redundancy, laid-off, unemployment, money, business, businessman, businessmen, office, office, office life, modern life"That was fun—Now you're rehired."
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fire, firing, canned, canning, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, redundancies, cruel, cruelty, hire, hired, hiring, rehired, rehiring, re-hired, re-hiring, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchy, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, abuse of power, abusing power, abusive, bully, bullies, bullying, office bully, office bullies, office bullying, rat race, the rat race, getting fired"Sorry, Ted. I probably should have said 'spoiler alert' before I fired you."
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job, jobs, career, careers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, fired, firing, laid off, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, work, worker, workers, workplace, unemployed, unemployment, employer, employers, employee, employees, spoiler alert, spoilers, surprise, surprised, shock, shocked, shocking, let go, office, offices, office workers, white collar, white collar jobs"Our plans? Of course you're in our plans."
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employer, employers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, bad employer, bad employers, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchies, lie, lying, deceive, deceiving, deception, deceptions, fired, underemployment, fire, firing, unemployed, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, dotted line, dotted lines, the dotted line, cut out, cut out, cut along the dotted line, disposable, irrelevant, disrespectful"In order to remain competitive in today's marketplace, Bentham, I'm afraid we're going to have to replace you with a sleazeball."
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office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, sleazeball, sleazeballs, fire, fired, firing, laid off, let go, boss, bosses, good guy, good guys finish last, bad news, outsourcing, replacement, replacements, replaced, replaceable, sales, salesmen, salesman, made redundant, redundancy, redundant, downsizing, ethics, scumbag, scumbags, management, manager, managers, competition, competitive"You're out, Hodges—it's time to make way for a younger loser."
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fire, firing, fired, sack, sacked, getting the sack, can, canned, canning, sacking, getting canned, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, unemployed, unemployment, lay off, lay offs, laid off, lay-off, lay-offs, laid-offs, ageism, age discrimination, insensitive, insensitivity, forced retirement, forced into retirement, loser, losers, executive, executives, manager, managers, bad manager, bad managers, boss, bosses"Harold, are my knees bumpy?"
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knees, bumpy, exfoliate, irrelevant, beauty, relationship, marriage, relationships, old age, retirement, aging, redundant"Is it my fault he guessed the wrong hand?"
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business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, executive, executives, beggar, beggars, choose a hand, pick a hand, guessing, guess, guessed, guess work, poverty, wealth divide, wealth gap, unlucky, bad luck, unluckiness, fired, firing, fire, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, made redundant, canned, can, canning, sack, sacked, sacking, getting the sack, laid off, laid-off, laying off, laying-offFor Today's Dad
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bitter, bitterness, bitterly, daddy issues, daddy problems, fatherhood, fathers, fathers and sons, dad, dads, parent, parents, parenting, redundancy, redundant, competitive, competitively, cards, card, unemployed, unemployment, complex, oedipal complex, oedipus complex, patronise, patronising, patronised, patronises, retired, retires, retire, retiree, modern, modern family, unhappy families, family matters, modern life, greetings cards, greeting cards, father's day, fathers day"Hey, Fred, how's my old office?"
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fire, fired, firing, redundant, redundancy, made redundant, sacked, sack, sacking, can, canned, canning, laid off, laid-off, laying off, offices, old office, old offices, replaced, replacement, replacements, unemployed, unemployment, office worker, office workers, executive, executives, manager, managers, business executive, business executives, business manager business managers, lay offs"Look at it this way, Crosley—unemployment could be a real stretch for you."
"I pretty much come and go as I please, since I'm unemployed."
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offices, office worker, office workers, unemployed, unemployment, fire, fired, firing, sack, sacked, getting sacked, sacking, can, canned, canning, getting canned, redundant, redundancy, redundancies, made redundant, laid off, laid-off, lay off, lay offs, let go, let-go, flexible, flexibility, remote worker, remote workers, flexible work, free, freedom, relaxed"It's nothing personal—the way things are going, we just don't need as many abductees."
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redundant, made redundant, redundancy, redundancies, lay off, lay offs, laid off, lay-off, lay-offs, unemployed, unemployment, streamline, streamlining, alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrials, extraterrestrials, alien abduction, alien abductions, recession, financial crash, space ship, spaceship, space ships, space ships, alien spaceship, alien spaceships, office worker, office workers, alien abductee, alien abductees