"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, bad sign, maintenance, maintenance crew, problem, problems, fixing, repairing, repair, repairs, safety, apprehension, foreboding, fear, fearful, anxiety, anxious, transportation
"Hand me my claw hammer."
"That metallic grinding means her throwout bearings are shot. She's backfiring through her carburetor. The tick indicates transmission trouble, and the smoke means she's on fire."
Tags:mechanic, mechanics, repair, repairing, workshop, workshops, work shop, work shops, engineer, engineers, diagnose, diagnosis, problem, problems, broken, broke, car, cars, motor, motors, motorcars, motorcar, engine, engines, carburetor, understatement, obvious, clear, expert, technician, technicians, repairman, repairmen, clearly, obviously, jargon, garage, garages
"So you think you can cobble!"
Tags:cobble, cobbled, cobbling, cobbler, shoe, shoes, shoe maker, shoemaker, talent, talented, talents, talent show, talent shows, tv, tvs, television, show, shows, theater, theatre, stage, stages, old fashioned, craft, crafts, crafting, repair, repairing, visual gag, visual, sight gag, sight joke, visual joke
"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, fixing, repair, repairs, repairing, plumbing, plumber, plumbers, repairmen, repairman, handyman, handymen, technology, computer, computers, search engine, search engines, searching, search, searches, internet, online, know, knowing, understanding, knowledge, man, men, modern life
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, saint nick, st. nicholas, saint nicholas, christmas, xmas, yule, noel, fake, false, fashion, style, personal appearance, belt, belts, belt buckle, belt buckles, beard, facial hair, glasses, eyeglasses, eyewear, designer, repair, repairs, repairing, duct tape, holiday, holidays
"Try blowing on it."
Tags:wind turbine, wind turbines, wind farm, wind farms, wind energy, energy, power, wind power, wind, windmill, windmills, environment, environmentally friendly, eco-friendly, ecological, green, green energy, clean energy, clean, engineer, engineers, repair, repairs, repairmen, repairman, problem, problems, issue, issues, blow, blowing, solution, solutions, solve, fan, fans, fix, fixing, repairing, alternative energy, try, attempt, mechanic, mechanics, not working, out of order, out-of-order, electricity, generator, generators
"You know what? I probably could have put Humpty Dumpty back together again but I was just too pissed."
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, king's men, kings men, soldier, soldiers, guard, guards, pissed, angry, anger, fixed, fixing, repaired, repairing, too late, broken, smashed
"I'm just trying to earn enough to fix the hole in my cup."
A plumber pulls cash out from the sewer near a casino.
"Still won't start?"
Tags:car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, car wont start, car won't start, car not starting, baseball, baseball bat, baseball bats, repair, repairs, repairing, car repairs, car repairing, engineer, engineers, mechanic, mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, disrepair, futile, unsuccessful, hopeless, heavy handed, heavy-handed, frustrating, frustration, frustrations, first world problems, irritating, irritation, irritations, everyday problem, everyday problems
"When we play the footage backward, it'll look like you're repairing it."
Tags:camera, cameras, break, breaks, breaking, backward, violin, repair, repairs, repairing, destroy, destroys, destroying, play backward, playing backwards, play backwards, record, records, recording, redings, recorded, film crew, film crews, commercial, commercials, shoot, shoots, shooting, incompetent, incompetence, cover up, covers up, covering up
"The problem is that your trap is one big macaroni."
"Yup. I'm guessing there's your problem."
Tags:switch, switches, on switch, on switches, off switch, off switches, flip a switch, flipping a switch, problem, problems, problem solver, problem solvers, problem solving, flip, flips, flipping, master switch, master switches, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, repairman, repairmen, repair, repairs, repairing
A man looks at a sign in front of an elevator that reads "Out of Order - Technicians conducting tests of elevator's capacity to withstand inane chitchat."
Tags:elevator, elevators, lift, lifts, out of order, broken, broken down, tech, techs, technician, technicians, fixing, repairing, testing, test, tests, inane chitchat, chitchat, chatting, gossip, gossiping, conversation, conversations, small talk, sign, signs, signage, office, offices, office life, office building, office buildings, technology
"Frankly, we've been having some problems with this model."
Tags:car dealership, car dealerships, car dealer, car dealers, car lot, car lots, car salesman, car salesmen, salesman, salesmen, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, transportation, new car, new cars, model, models, car model, car models, problem, problems, defective, honest, fixing, repairing, mechanic, mechanics, auto mechanic, auto mechanics, car mechanic, car mechanics, motor mechanic, motor mechanics, automotive technician, automotive technicians, technician, technicians, questionable, suspicious
A Jewish cobbler injures himself and sees many Star of David symbols instead of stars.
"I think you're using lawnmower repair to avoid intimacy."
"It doesn't go 'baaroom' anymore. It only goes 'beep.'"
Tags:french horn, french horns, brass instrument, brass instruments, brass band, brass band, musical instrument, musical instruments, broken, brokens, music shop, music shops, instrument repair, instrument repairing, repair, repairing, repairs, musician, musicians, music, brass music, amateaur, amateaurs
"Have you been trying to fix this yourself."
Joe's Fixit Shop: if it ain't broke,break it
"You won't believe how many Frisbees are up here!"