Report Cartoons

"My question is: Are we making an impact?"

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

"I'd like to report some bad guys."

"He's from PM."

"The post-season coverage ended yesterday. This is the pre-season coverage."

"I may run, but first I want to toy with the electorate for a while."

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

"We have posted lower second-quarter earnings, reflecting placement of loans to Brazil, Ecuador, and Ms. Dunwoodie on non-accrual status."

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Turning to the City Hall forecast, this brief period of contrition will be followed by increasing testiness, leading to major squalls on Monday."

"That was a fine report, Barbara. But since the sexes speak different languages, I probably didn't understand a word of it."

"My entire vision for the future passed before my eyes."

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

"Your Majesty, according to our study the shoe was lost for want of a nail, the horse was lost for want of a shoe, and the rider was lost for want of a horse, but the kingdom was lost because of overregulation."

How's my texting?

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

" 'How I Spent My Summer Vacation,' a treatment by Todd Mozelle, Grade Three."

"'GameBoy: A Memoir of Addiction', by Ronald Markowitz."

"Getting good grades isn't enough, son. You also need to bring in new clients."

"My parents didn't write it--they just tweaked it."

"We're letting you go, Strathmore. You're an excellent writer, but you're just not the right fit for Two Legs magazine."

"Let's work really hard today—your parents are eager for deliverables."

"I don't know if it's toward Iran, Iraq, or what, but ever since lunch he's been tilting."

"Unfortunately, the urine test counted for half of the grade."

"Ronald Reagan won two victories in the Senate today, one victory in the House, and one victory in House-Senate conference, which gives him a career total of a hundred and ninety victories - only thirty-nine short of the world's record of two hundred and twenty-nine victories, held by Franklin Delano Roosevelt."