"I can remember when there would have been a fire truck here in ten minutes, tops!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, tree, trees, stuck, stuck in a tree, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, firefighter, firefighters, firemen, fireman, ladder, ladders, fire truck, fire trucks, firetruck, firetrucks, fire engine, fire engines, time, timely, slow, service, rescue, rescues, rescuing, slow response, response rate
"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."
"You must have thought up a million jokes."
"He's in an H.M.O. Get some of the King's horses and a few of the King's men."
Sharkman to the rescue!
A marooned man builds a swing set from his lone palm tree.
Tags:swing set, swing sets, swing, swings, swinging, raft, rafts, priority, priorities, high priority, high priorities, bored, boredom, low priority, low priorities, wrong priority, wrong priorities, useless, uselessness, rescue, rescues, proactive, comfort, comfortable, discomfort, row, rows, rowing, freedom, flee, flees, fleeing
Noah's Ark Being Towed.
"Do you know a good taxidermist?"
Tags:dragon, dragons, taxidermy, taxidermist, taxidermists, stuff, stuffed, stuffing, princess, princesses, knight, knights, slay, slays, slew, slayed, mounting, mounted, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescues, cave, caves, trophy, trophies, prince, princes, fantasy, fairytale, fairy tale, fairytales, fairy tales
"I'm dating a turtle, Hank. If you've got a better cry for help, I'm all ears."
"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."
Tags:mislead, misleads, misleading, misled, rapunzel, fairy tale, fairy tales, handsome prince, handsome princes, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, beard, beards, long beard, long beards, bearded, newspaper, newspapers, loon, loons, looney, insane, insanity, tower, towers, locked away, hermit, hermits, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, mentally ill, mental illness, mental illnesses
"When Sam came into my life, she was a cat at risk."
"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."
Tags:hipster, hipsters, wine snob, wine snobs, snob, snobs, snobbery, malbec, napa, napa valley, wine, wines, winos, emergency, emergencies, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, first world problem, first world problems, problem, problems, snobby, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, silicon valley, dog, dogs, rescue dog, rescue dogs
"Brandy, coffee, decaf, herb tea, or cran-apple?"
Tags:rescue, rescues, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog, dogs, st. bernard, saint bernard, brandy, coffee, decaf, herbal tea, tea, teas, cran-apple, cranberry-apple, juice, juices, juice box, juice boxes, refreshment, refreshments, snack, snacks, option, options, choice, choices, decision, decisions, ski, skies, skiing, accident, accidents, winter sport, winter sports
"If we're to make a life together, you have to accept that I'm a volunteer fireman and have to be ready to picnic at a moment's notice."
Tags:make a life, makes a life, making a life, build a life, builds a life, building a life, volunteer, volunteers, volunteering, volunteer fireman, fireman, firemen, danger, dangers, dangerous, dangerous job, dangerous jobs, picnic, picnics, picnicking, dramatic, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggeration, exaggerations, exaggerating, husband, husbands, wife, wives, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers
"He was a rescue."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, adoption, adopting a pet, rescue, rescues, shelter, shelters, stray, strays, leash, leashes, collar, collars, control, controlling, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, date, dates, dating, walking the dogs, dog walking, walkies
A leprechaun sits under a mushroom.
"Nature can be cruel, but occasionally there are instances of great compassion."
"What the hell do you want kelp for?"
Tags:dog, dogs, rescue, rescues, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog owner, dog owners, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old-age, old age, pensioner, pensioners, deaf, deafness, hearing loss, hearing problem, hearing problems, misheard, mishear, mishearing
"Maybe we'd stand a better change of rescue if we didn't look so much like penguins."
"No, the other kitten."
"Well, he's not going to rescue himself."
Tags:cat stuck, cat stuck in a tree, up a tree, in a tree, cat stuck up a tree, lion, big cat, big cats, lions, circus animal, circus animals, circus, circuses, clown, clowns, clowning, firemen, fireman, rescue, rescued, carnival, carnivals, fair, faire, fairs, rescue, fire and rescue, fire man, fire men, rescues
"Instead of doing jail time, I'm performing eighteen hundred hours of community service."
Tags:dutch, dutch boy, myth, myths, legend, legends, urban legend, urban legends, urban myth, urban myths, jail time, jail, jails, dam, dams, dyke, flood, flood prevention, prevention, flood gate, flood gates, flooding, community service, community, tale, tales, stories, story, crimes, criminal, criminals, services, service, hours, rescue, rescues, rescued, stand, standing in, visual gag, strange image, irony, ironic, region, regions, the netherlands, netherlands, regional, holland
Jim Evans - Father, husband and darn good eatin'.
Tags:fishing, fisher, fishers, fisherman, fishermen, fisher man, fisher men, rescue, rescues, sea rescue, sea rescues, fishing enthusiast, fishing enthusiasts, helicopter, helicopters, helicopter rescue, helicopter rescues, angling, angler, anglers, priorities, coast guard, coast guards, life guard, life guards, fishing boat, fishing boats
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.