"I can remember when there would have been a fire truck here in ten minutes, tops!"
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, tree, trees, stuck, stuck in a tree, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, firefighter, firefighters, firemen, fireman, ladder, ladders, fire truck, fire trucks, firetruck, firetrucks, fire engine, fire engines, time, timely, slow, service, rescue, rescues, rescuing, slow response, response rate
"So they hold this conference to figure out why we're becoming extinct, and guess what they have for dinner."
"We're encouraging people to become involved in their own rescue."
"Under new business: Peterson, at Hammond Point Beach, reports that a person in the water is flailing about and calling for help. Peterson wants to know what action, if any, he should take."
Tags:rescue, rescuing, initiative, meeting, meetings, inefficient, inefficiency, life guard, life-guard, lifeguards, discuss, discussing, discussion, business, businesses, boardroom, boardrooms, problem, problems, decision, decisions, indecisive, agenda, agendas, bureaucracy, bureaucratic, bureaucracy, pointless, initiatives
Sharkman to the rescue!
"Of course I'm glad. It's just that I had a bad experience with a boat once."
Tags:desert island, desert islands, deserted island, deserted islands, island, islands, stranded, survivor, survivors, shipwrecked, cruise ship, cruise ships, rescue, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, boat, boats, ship, ships, bad experience, bad experiences, past experience, past experiences, trauma, traumatised, traumatized, psychology, mental health, bad memories, bad memory, sea travel
Noah's Ark Being Towed.
"Do you know a good taxidermist?"
Tags:dragon, dragons, taxidermy, taxidermist, taxidermists, stuff, stuffed, stuffing, princess, princesses, knight, knights, slay, slays, slew, slayed, mounting, mounted, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescues, cave, caves, trophy, trophies, prince, princes, fantasy, fairytale, fairy tale, fairytales, fairy tales
"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"
Tags:history, historical, medieval, princess, princesses, prince, princes, royal, royalty, demanding, question, questions, questioning, answer, answers, nagging, angry, knight, knights, soldier, soldiers, armor, armour, suit of armor, suit of armour, weapon, weapons, spear, spears, lance, lances, rescuing, saving, knight in shining armor, knight in shining armour, woman, women, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories, story, stories, literature, children's literature character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, couple, couples, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts
Tags:dragon, dragons, medieval, knight, knights, princess, princesses, royal, royalty, damsels, lady, ladies, sword, swords, slay, slay the dragon, slaying the dragon, slaying dragons, castle, castles, rescue, rescuing, women's empowerment, liberation, female empowerment, strong women, strong woman, empowered women, empowered woman, women's liberation, female liberation, gender equality, don't need a man, prince, princes, relationship, relationships, taking control of your own destiny, like that, learning, learn, teach, teaching, fairytale, fairytales, modern life, modern fairytale, modern fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, modern fairy tale, modern fairy tales, role reversal
"I'm dating a turtle, Hank. If you've got a better cry for help, I'm all ears."
"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."
Tags:mislead, misleads, misleading, misled, rapunzel, fairy tale, fairy tales, handsome prince, handsome princes, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, beard, beards, long beard, long beards, bearded, newspaper, newspapers, loon, loons, looney, insane, insanity, tower, towers, locked away, hermit, hermits, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, mentally ill, mental illness, mental illnesses
"Thanks, but I'm fine."
Tags:animal, animals, dog, dogs, saint bernard, st. bernard, saint bernards, st. bernards, rescue, rescuing, rescue dogs, rescue dog, barrel, barrels, cask, casks, brandy, alcohol, drink, drinks, drinking, alcoholic, drink helmet, drink hat, drink helmets, drink hats, straw, straws, snow, deep snow, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, dog trick, tricks, trick, dog tricks, working dog, working dogs, service dog, service dogs, help
"O.K., but don't call me again until you have something more specific than 'Life isn't fair.'"
"When Sam came into my life, she was a cat at risk."
"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."
Tags:hipster, hipsters, wine snob, wine snobs, snob, snobs, snobbery, malbec, napa, napa valley, wine, wines, winos, emergency, emergencies, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, first world problem, first world problems, problem, problems, snobby, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, silicon valley, dog, dogs, rescue dog, rescue dogs
"If we're to make a life together, you have to accept that I'm a volunteer fireman and have to be ready to picnic at a moment's notice."
Tags:make a life, makes a life, making a life, build a life, builds a life, building a life, volunteer, volunteers, volunteering, volunteer fireman, fireman, firemen, danger, dangers, dangerous, dangerous job, dangerous jobs, picnic, picnics, picnicking, dramatic, exaggerate, exaggerates, exaggeration, exaggerations, exaggerating, husband, husbands, wife, wives, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers
A leprechaun sits under a mushroom.
"What the hell do you want kelp for?"
Tags:dog, dogs, rescue, rescues, rescue dog, rescue dogs, dog owner, dog owners, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, old-age, old age, pensioner, pensioners, deaf, deafness, hearing loss, hearing problem, hearing problems, misheard, mishear, mishearing
"No, the other kitten."
"If I were beached, could I do this?"
"I've got a pulse!"
Tags:beach, beaches, animal, animals, whale, whales, beached, stuck, trapped, save, saving, rescue, rescuing, first aid, cpr, c.p.r., cardiopulmonary resuscitation, resuscitation, mouth-to-mouth, pulse, heartbeat, breath, breathing, emergency, emergencies, rescue worker, rescue workers, paramedic, paramedics, doctor, doctors, first aider, first aiders, blowhole, blowholes, medical, medicine
A lifeguard whale underwater fails to notice that a whale has beached himself on a nearby beach.
"The networks are losing share and you sit there reading?"
Tags:television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., network, networks, audience, viewer, viewers, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, ratings, market share, losing, declining, technology, computer, computers, internet, online, platform, platforms, video streaming, streaming, on demand, video-on-demand, streaming services, streaming service, reading, book, books, literature, reader, readers, saving, rescuing, traditions, traditional, old-fashioned, entertainment, modern life
"Of course, it doesn't pay as much as during the season."
Tags:lifeguard, life guard, lifeguards, life guards, life guarding, lifeguarding, off-season, seasonal, duty, on-duty, beach, beaches, sea, seaside, seashore, seashores, pay, salary, salaries, money, winter, snow, snowing, freezing, cold, snowstorm, snowstorms, blizzard, blizzards, security, prevention, rescue, rescuing, season, seasons, summer job, summer jobs, seasonal job, seasonal jobs