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"And so, due to the appearance of wrongdoing, I've decided to simulate my resignation."
Planned Service Changes
"I am therefore stepping down to spend more time with my family—but not with my wife, Tammy, who can be really annoying."
Possible Press Secretary Replacements
Sarah Sanders is Godzilla
"I'm leaving my job so that I can spend time with another job."
Skywriter parachutes out of plane after writing 'I QUIT'.
"Look, I'm for an orderly transfer of power, but all those who want me to resign immediately raise their shoe."
The Synchronized-Swim Team Quits
"The mark of true leadership is knowing when to resign in disgrace."