"You tested positive for being negative."
Tags:medicine, medical, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, test, testing, tests, test result, test results, result, results, positive, negative, optimist, pessimist, optimism, pessimism, unclear, over complicated, complicate, complicated, positive for being negative, mood, moods, grumpy, bad mood, negative outlook, outlook, pessimists
"Here comes our first V.P., Mrs. Byers, now. Mrs. Byers is results-oriented."
Tags:results-oriented, jargon, business jargon, euphemisms, jerk, jerks, taskmaster, taskmasters, task master, task masters, vice president, vice presidents, v.p., v.p.s, result, results, results-oriented, gobbledegook, threat, threatens, threatening, scare, scares, scary, frighten, frightens, frightening
"It's a simple stress test - I do your blood work, send it to the lab, and never get back to you with the results."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, test, tests, testing, stress test, stress tests, bloodwork, blood work, sample, samples, blood, lab, labs, laboratory, laboratories, result, results, medical testing, medical test, medical tests, stressful, wait, waits, waiting, wait time, wait times, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, call, calls, calling, modern life
"The bloodwork came back kinda yucky."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bloodwork, blood work, test, tests, testing, blood test, blood tests, blood testing, lab work, lab result, lab results, result, results, yucky, gross, icky, language
"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."
Tags:gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers, home gym, home gyms, working out, exercise, exercising, fitness, health, out of shape, out-of-shape, personal best, personal bests, workout, workouts, result, results, discouraged
"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, breathe, inhale, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, test results, results, bloodwork, blood work, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosed, flip, flipped, invert, inverted, opposite, opposites
"Good news—those lumps were just coal."
Tags:winter, wintertime, snow, snowman, snowmen, weather, season, seasons, seasonal, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, lump, lumps, result, results, diagnosis, diagnoses, coal, charcoal, good news, healthy
"Well, I do have this recurring dream that one day I might see some results."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, dream, dreams, dreaming, recurring dream, recurring dreams, result, results, cure, cures, treatment, treatments, medical, medicine, health
"The labs are back."
"Your best cholesterol lacks all conviction, and your worst is full of passionate intensity."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, result, results, diagnosis, diagnoses, best, lack, lacks, lacking, cholesterol, cholesterol level, cholesterol levels, conviction, worst, full, passionate, intensity, poetry, poem, poems, poet, poets, famous poem, famous poems, famous poet, famous poets, literature
"I got my DNA analysis back. Guess what - I'm a Hapsburg."
Tags:relationship, relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, science, biology, genetics, gene, genes, dna, d.n.a., dna testing, genetic testing, analysis, result, results, history, historical, ancestor, ancestors, ancestry, family tree, genealogy, genealogist, genealogists, family history, lineage, hapsburg, hapsburgs, family, families, royal, royalty, regal, crown, crowns
"You have very high negatives."
Tags:blood test, blood tests, results, test results, test result, doctor, doctors, general practitioner, general practitioners, medical check up, medical check ups, hospital, hospitals, doctors appointment, doctors appointments, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, physician, physicians, patient, patients, medical, health, oxymoron
"I don't like the look of these. I better send them up to legal."
"I've finished shovelling and am for the most part satisfied with the results, but I'll rest now and look at it again in the morning."
Tags:winter, wintertime, weather, bad weather, snow, snowing, snowy, shovelling, shoveling, shovel, shovels, satisfied, satisfaction, finish, finished, result, results, morning, look again, revise, revisit, rest, resting, art, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, perfectionist, perfectionists, perfectionism, self-critique, self-criticising, self-criticizing
"First of all, let me say yes, you are getting enough kelp."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, test, tests, result, results, diagnosis, diagnoses, food, kelp, seaweed, health food, health foods, healthy diet, eating healthy, healthy eating, eating habits, diet, diets, enough, nutrition, nutritionist, nutritionists, food trends, trend, trends, trendy, modern life
"The results of your MRI show that you're very claustrophobic.''
"The initial test results are in and you have excellent coverage."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, test, tests, testing, result, results, bill, bills, billing, money, medical costs cost, costs, expenses, expensive, medical billing, insurance, insurance coverage, coverage, health insurance, medical insurance, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare
"The math was rough. The verbal was a snap."
"Your labs are fine."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's offices, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, animal doctor, animal doctors, vet clinic, vet clinics, animal hospital, animal hospitals, veterinarian clinic, veterinarian clinics, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, test, tests, lab test, lab tests, laboratory test, laboratory tests, medical testing, result, results, lab, labs, labrador retriever, labrador retrievers, labrador, labradors, wordplay, word play
Tags:warning, warnings, label, read the label, red flag, red flags, dealbreaker, deal-breaker, warning signs, deal breaker, side effect, side effects, side-effect, side-effects, purposes only, result, results, con, conned, snake oil, snake oils, disclaimer, disclaimers, use as instructed, drug, sale, sales, market, marketing, marketting
"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office life, meeting, meetings, board meeting board meetings, board member, board members, presentation, presenter, presenters, report, reports, chart, charts, graph, graphs, profit, profits, result, results, preparation, prepared, wishful thinking, looking ahead, optimism, optimistic, optimist, optimists, positive thinking, unrealistic, fantasy, finances
"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."
Tags:personnel, personnel officer, personnel officers, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, summa cum laude, graduates, graduates, graduating, graduation, graduations, degree, degrees, worthless degree, worthless degrees, graduating class, graduating classes, unremarkable, result, results, degree result, degree results, education system, failed education system, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, cv, job application, job applications
A mouse in a maze finds a backdrop that says "Act III, Scene 2."
"Please be advised, first quarter grades may be weaker than expected."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, childhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, report card, report, progress report, grade, grades, mark, marks, assessment, assessments, performance, academic, academic performance, school, schools, study, studied, studying, results, result, test, tests, quiz, exam, exams, moment of truth, warning, warned, excuse, excuses, teacher, teachers
Actual Results May Vary
Tags:sermon, sermons, homily, homilies, church, churches, speech, speeches, result, results, results may vary, theist, theists, theism, atheist, atheists, atheism, false promise, false promises, organized religion, organised religion, end result, paradise, heaven, go to heaven, goes to heaven, going to heaven, gates of heaven, promise, promises, christian, christians, christianity, afterlife, afterlives