"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."
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date, dates, dating, single life, resume, resumes, application, applications, job application, job applications, defensive, attorney, attorneys, modern life, modern lives, identity, identities, identification, identifications, driver's license, modern life, modern times, blind date, blind dates, internet date, internet dates, internet dating, dating site, dating sites"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."
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m.b.a., mba, degree, degrees, master of business of administration, home school, homeschool, homeschooling, home schooling, homeschooled, home schooled, homeschooling problems, home schooling problems, education, education level, education levels, student, students, job interview, interviewer, interviewers, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, human resources, hr, h.r., employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, job hunting, job search, job, jobs, work, career, careers, unemployed, unemployment, unemployable, resume, cv, c.v., proud parent, proud parents, exaggeration, exaggerated, embellishment, embellish, hyperbole, false, fake, business, business degree, university, university degree, university degrees, college, college degree, college degrees, hire, hiring, achievement, achievements"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."
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business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, hiring, experience, experiences, marketing, rejection, rejected, lack of experience, impressive, modern life"Whatever happens, Jenkins, you'll always have your dancing to fall back on."
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career, careers, pole dancer, pole dancers, pole dancing, exotic dancer, exotic dancers, exotic dancing, dance club, dance clubs, career path, career paths, backup career, backup plan, backup plans, backup careers, back-up career, back-up careers, skill set, cv, resume, resumes, back-up plan, back-up plans, fall back on, boss, bosses, job security, job insecurity, worker, workers, office worker, office workers, office job, office jobs"I see by your résumé that you're a woman."
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resume, resumes, diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, hiring, hire, hires, hiring officer, hiring officers, c/v, c/vs, feminist, feminists, feminism, glass ceiling, misogynist, misogynists, misogyny, qualification, qualifications, qualified, sexist, sexists, application, applications, job application, job applications"The first thing you need to do is update your résumé."
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evolve, evolves, evolving, evolution, biology, biology teacher, biology teachers, resume, resumes, update your resume, updating your resume, career change, career changes, change, changes, changing, amphibian, amphibians, fish, tetrapod, tetrapods, change, changes, changing, frog, frogs, toad, toads, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, lifestyle changes"Any experience?"
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employment, employ, employed, employer, cv, c v, resume, resumes, resume skills, c v skills, cv skills, interview, interviewee, interviews, interview skills, recruit, recruitment, business, office, offices, hr, h r, human resources, old, older, elderly, old man, experience, experienced, age, ageism, old age, working age, retire, retired, retirement age, retirement"Congratulations. You have the skills we're looking for, and you'll just fit a cubicle."
"Citizen of the World, Wine Connoisseur, Husband. I may be spreading myself too thin."
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wine, wines, wine enthusiast, wine enthusiasts, wine expert, wine experts, wine connoisseur, wine connoisseurs, oenology, drinking, drinks, cocktails, husband, husbands, wife, wives, citizen of the world, citizens of the world, wearing many hats, resumé, resumés, curriculum vitae, cv, accomplishment, accomplishments, jack of all trades"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"
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translation, translations, french, translator, translators, resume, resumes, c/v, c/vs, cv, application, applications, job application, job applications, qualification, qualifications, job qualification, job qualifications, business school, business schools, harvard business school, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars"I see from your résumé that you enjoy attending the occasional soccer match."
"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."
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hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, c.v., c.v.s, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, criminal record, felony, felonies, felon, felons, convict, convicts, crime, criminal, criminals, searching for a job, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, white-collar crime, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate crime, corruption, unemployment, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barrister, solicitor, solicitors, client, clients, strength, strengths, weakness, weaknesses, suitability, balance"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."
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resume, resumes, dna, dna smaple, dna samples, invasion of privacy, invasions of privacy, urine test, urine tests, test, tests, testing, hiring, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, qualification, qualifications, employment officer, employment officers, genetics, gene, genes, job applicant, job applicants, job application, job applications, personnel, gene, genes, genome, genomes, human resources"Oh, Lord! Now we're getting resumes along with the Chinese menus."
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business, businesses, small business, business owner, business owners, resumes, resume, cv, curriculum vitae, employment, employer, employers, employee, employees, unemployment, urban, flat, flats, apartment, apartments, chinese food, chinese food menu, menu, menus, food, foods, takeout, takeaway, delivery, restaurant, restaurants, fast food, marketing, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, ad, ads, mail, mailbox, junk mail, mailer, mailers, flyer, flyers, c/v, c/vs"Your curriculum vitae is extremely detailed, isn't it? I don't quite know what to make of the fact that your third-grade teacher, Miss Hartley, made you stand in the corner for throwing an eraser although another kid did it."
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business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, interview, interviews, applicant, applicants, candidate, candidates, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job, jobs, hiring, detail, details, detailed, information, experience, experiences, student, students, teacher, teacher, school, schools, schooling, education, third grade, punishments, childhood, unnecessary, irrelevant, standing out, modern life"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."
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new, recruit, recruiting, experience, experiences, resume, resumes, cv, curriculum vitae, lacking, lacks, lack, inexperienced, inexperience, youth, young, qualification, qualifications, under-qualified, under qualified, recruit, recruitment, recruiting, recruits, recruiter, recruiters, training, trainers, interview, interviews, hiring, hires, hired, hires"I thought he was a genius, but now I find out that he was self-proclaimed."
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executive, executives, business, businessmen, businessman, businesses, office, offices, corporate, corporations, corporation, work, workers, working, working world, market, marketing, markets, profit, profit boost, profits, profitable, profitability, train, training, trained, trainer, genius, geniuses, resume, resumes, ego, egotist, egotistical, failure, failed, failures, recoup, recouping, trust, trusting, trustworthy, reliable, rely, relying, running away, run away, runaway"They say you are a great warrior."
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business, businesses, business man, businessman, businessmen, business men, warrior, warriors, war, wars, desk, desk job, executive, executives, hr, h r, human resource, human resources, resume, resumes, cv, hire, hired, hiring"By the time I was supposed to resume my hockey career, I had discovered ice dancing."
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bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, liquor, booze, drunk, drunks, friendly drunks, life story, life stories, sport, sports, skating, skater, skaters, ice dancing, ice dancer, ice dancers, hockey, hockey player, hockey players, ice hockey, athlete, athletes, career, careers, injury, injuries, recovery, recovered, resume, continue, career change, career changes, fashion, costume, costume, fancy, dress-up, dress up, dressing up, discovered, discovery, passion, passions, passion project, passion projects"Your resume is remarkably similar to our CEO's."
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hire, hired, hiring, employed, employing, employer, human resources, hr, h r, personnel, cv, cv skills, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interview skills, resume, resumes, résume, résumes, ceo, chief executive, exec, execs, executives, viking, vikings, raid, raider, raiders, raiding, historical, historically, barbarian, barbarians, businessman, business man, businessmen, business men, management, manager, managers, ethics, ethical, corporate, corporation, corporations"Where's Waldo in five years?"
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where, where do you see yourself, in five years, five year plan, five-year plan, five-year-plan, planning, plan, plans, planned, career, careers, career plan, career advice, careers advice, job, jobs, job interview, interviews, interviewing, resume, good resume, cv, good cv, c v, interview skills, world of work, new job, new hire, hiring, hires, recruiting, recruitment, recruiter, human resource, human resources, hr, h r, pun, puns, word play, word-play, play on words"Yes, and the fact that you've been an outstanding employee for twenty-five years is going to look great on your résumé."
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business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, fired, firing, laid off, unemployed, unemployment, termination, downsizing, outstanding, model employee, model employees, cv, c.v., curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, experience, long-term employee, long-term employees"I was building up my pecs."
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resume, resumes, cv, curriculum vitae, job application, jobs applications, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, personnel, personnel office, personnel officers, body builder, body builders, body building, pecs, weight lifting, weight lifter, weight lifters, exercise, exercising, muscle, muscles, building muscle, building muscles, time wasting, waste of time, unemployed, unemployment