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"I'm looking for something slightly more perfect."
"Anderson, my boy, if you truly believe that commercialism should be taken out of Christmas, perhaps you ought to consider whether you really belong in the department-store business."
"Just what, may I ask, do you think you're doing, Jennings?"
"If you like, we can donate the per cent of your total purchase price to out Get Drunk After Work Employee fund."
"It is a nice tie, but it's mine."
"One of your used books gave me a rash."
Do you have something that doesn't scream 'tie'?"
"This one is broken."
"I want to look at toys, cosmetics, neckties, lingerie, and men's lounging robes. Would you mind making an itinerary for me?"
"It warms my heart to see their look of hope that we might not just buy it online."