Reviewers Cartoons

"Oh, shush! You live by Janet Maslin, you're going to die by Janet Maslin."

"It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing, and No.1 on the best-seller list."

"I'm a well known food critic, but I've never been able to turn it into cash."

"I've been called 'most probably a genius.'"

"It's so-so."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Reviewing Earth

"Revelatory, Michael - such airy meatballs."

"The reviews said the reviewers were very clever."

"You call that a suit?"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"This moor got a great Yelp review."

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"I'm frustrated because I wish I were criticizing greater things."

"Uncle Tod's Reviews"

"Our life is sort of like a bad play, only somehow we've managed to get good reviews."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Cat Yelp.

"The suggestions are supposed to go in the box."

"One of our greatest minds in restaurant criticism."

How's My Walking?

"Can't Yelp rate dry cleaners in order of how good they keep their mouth shut?"

"Tell me, sir. Is it good or bad?"

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."