"Once, I tried to change the laces, and the Landmarks Commission came down on me like a ton of bricks."
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there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, poem, poems, poetry, children's story, children's stories, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, shoe, shoes, boot, boots, footwear, lace, laces, shoelace, shoelaces, landmark, landmarks, landmark commission, landmark commissions, historical landmark, historical landmarks, historical, history, historical building, historical buildings, heritage, heritage building, heritage buildings, conservation, commission, commissions, real estate, property, properties, architecture, architect, architects, ton of bricks, old woman, old women, preservation, protection, changeHow Not to Remember Names
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name, names, memory, bad memory, memorize, memorizes, memorizing, memorise, memorises, memorising, memory trick, memory tricks, mnemonic device, mnemonic devices, device, devices, old friend, old friends, faux pas, forget, forgets, forgetting, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, rhyming scheme, rhyming schemes, bad idea, bad ideas"I did all my own stunts."
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humpty, humpty dumpty, dumpty, egg, eggs, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, stunt, stunts, cracked, cracks, injuries, injured, injury, injuring, cracks, stuntmen, stuntman, stunts, stunt, my own stunts, all my own stunts, talk, talk shows, talk show, talk-shows, talk-show, late night, late-night, children, children's"No, I didn't call a taxi."
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nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, there was an old woman who lived in a shoe, taxi, taxis, taxi cab, taxi cabs, cab, cabs, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, transportation, shoe, shoes, footwear, hat, hatsJack Finds The Giant Grilling At His Giant Grill
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jack, jack and the beanstalk, beanstalk, grill, grilling, men, manly, masculine, masculinity, suburban, suburbia, reality, realities, same same, parallel, parallels, monster, monsters, normal, normal life, everyday, seems normal, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, bbq, barbecue, middle america"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, poultry, egg, eggs, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, kid, kids, child, children, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, the early years, childhood, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, dangerous, risky, risk taker, risk takersThe Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker
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poet, poets, ogden nash, frederic ogden nash, rhyming scheme, rhyming schemes, candy store, candy stores, candy shop, candy shops, candy, sweet store, sweet stores, sweet shop, sweet shops, liquor store, liquor stores, liquor shop, liquor shops, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements, advert, adverts, street, streets, storefront, storefronts, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming couplet, rhyming couplets"As I call each of your names, please answer by saying 'Present'"
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animal, animals, sheep, flock, flocks, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, bo-peep, little bo-peep, roll call, roll calls, attendance, present, answer, answers, answering, name, names, list, lists"Nevermore."
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edgar allen poe, literature, books, books, poetry, poem, poems, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, children's story, children's stories, kid, kids, child, children, sing a song of sixpence, king, kings, q, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, food, pie, pies, eating, animal, animals, bird, birds, talking animal, talking animals, talking bird, talking birds, nevermore, raven, ravens, blackbird, blackbirds, crow, crows, shocked, surprised, shock, surprise, history, historical"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"
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rhyming couplet, rhyming couplets, rhyme, rhymes, witch, witches, witchcraft, coven, covens, halloween, halloweens, cauldron, cauldrons, potion, potions, magic spell, magic spells, poem, poems, poet, poets, witchery, spell, spellsGreat Poets of Catalogdom
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poem, poems, poet, poets, brand, brands, adverts, advertising, advert, ad, ads, advertisement, rhyme, rhymes, joyce kilmer, robert frost, john keats, fashion, fashions, word play, reading, reads, literature, parody, parodies, parodying"But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, and so the poor dog had none."
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animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lady, cat ladies, fur child, fur children, fur baby, fur babies, kids, kids, child, children, story time, story, stories, reading, reading aloud, reading out-loud, book, books, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, old mother hubbard, dog, dogs, smiling, happy"Phones, tones, stones, bones, moans, groans."
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bank, banks, banking, money, finances, personal finances, loan, loans, mortgage, mortgages, borrower, borrowers, loan company, loan companies, loan officer, loan officers, debt, mortgage broker, mortgage brokers, lender, lenders, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, psychology, insecure, insecurity, problem, problems, distraction, distractions, distracting, waiting, wait, long wait, long waits, customer, customers"When 'Hey Diddle Diddle' came along, we jumped at the chance to work together."
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dish, spoon, talk show, talk shows, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, rhyming, dishes, spoons, hey diddle diddle, work together, works together, working together, cliche, cliches, celebrity couple, celebrity couples, couple, couples, ran away, run away, actor, actors, acting, movie star, movie stars, late night talk show, late night talk shows"So, when he says, 'What a good boy am I,' Jack is really reinforcing his self-esteem."
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kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, son, sons, boy, boys, book, books, literature, bedtime, storytime, story time, reading to children, reading to kids, mother goose, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, little jack horner, children's story, children's stories, what a good boy am i, self-esteem, self-confidence, reinforcing, therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counseling, counselling, mental health, self-help, psychobabble, psycho-babble, modern life, modern parents, modern parenting, modern parenthood, millennial, millennials, raising kids, raising children, emotions, feelings, mollycoddling, coddling, overprotective"Do we have your blessing?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, customer, customers, tableware, cutlery, utensil, utensils, spoon, spoons, dish, dishes, plate, plates, silverware, relationship, relationships, love, romance, romantic, blessing, permission, approval, running away, eloping, couple, couples, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon, lyrics"I knew Mary would dump me when my fleece got a little gray."
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mary had a little lamb, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, poem, poems, poetry, story, stories, children's story, children's stories, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, rhyme, rhymes, character, characters, animal, animals, sheep, talking animal, talking animals, mary, lamb, lambs, little lamb, fleece, white, grey, gray, gray hair, gray hairs, grey hair, grey hairs, silver, hair, old age, ageing, aging, growing old, growing older, going gray, going grey, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, dating, couple, couples, break-up, break-ups, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, split, dump, dumpedTwo More Poems from Ted Hughes
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limerick, limericks, poetry, poet, poets, poem, poems, snob, snobbiness, snobs, snobby, writing, writer, writers, you should be writing, author, authors, pretentious, pretension, lyric, lyrics, rhyming, rhyme, rhymes, basic, basics, simple, simplicity, ted hughes, hughes, t hughes, modern poetry, literature, literary, sylvia plath, plath, s plath, s.plath, critic, critics, light, light relief, play on words, word-play, word play, unexpected"All the king's horses and all the king's men feel it's not in the national interest."
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humpty dumpty, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, king, kings, horse, horses, men, man, government, government, politics, national interest, broken, smashed, cracked, ignoring"I guess it's no big deal anymore."
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, cow, cows, cattle, talking cows, talking cow, livestock, farm, farms, farming, farmers, farmer, ranch, ranches, rancher, ranchers, dairy farm, dairy farms, dairy farmer, dairy farmers, no big deal, nbd, n.b.d., the cow jumped over the moon, moon, moons, full moon, full moons, flying, jumping, jumping cows, flying cows, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, hey diddle diddle, mother goose, the cat and the fiddle, herd, herds, children's story, children's stories, book, books, literature"Thank goodness he was wearing a condom."
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condom, condoms, protection, always use protection, humpty, humpty dumpty, dumpty, egg, eggs, nursery rhymes, nursery rhyme, rhyme, rhymes, song, songs, fairy, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, stunt, stunts, cracked, cracks, injuries, injured, injury, injuring, cracks, king's horses, king's men, repair, repairs, visual gag, pun, puns, play on words, word play, spoof, spoofed, spoofs, parody, parodied, parodies"Boy, am I out of breath. I had to run crying 'Wee, wee, wee!' all the way home."
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this little piggy, this little pig, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pig, pigs, talking pig, talking pigs, home, homes, house, houses, wee wee wee, out of breath, ran home, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, coming home, returning home, businessman, businessmenLittle Miss Muffet Does Lunch
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nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, little miss muffet, restaurant, restaurants, diner, diners, counter, counters, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, curds, whey, side, sides, lunch, lunchesDishes and spoons run away with each other from a warehouse.
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dish ran away with the spoon, hey diddle diddle, nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, poem, poems, poetry, flee, flees, fleeing, run off, elope, elopes, eloping, kitchenware, wholesale, wholesale supplier, restaurant supplier, restaurant suppliers, restaurant supplies, couple, coupes, run off together, runs off together, running off together