"Hey, sorry to call you guys this late on a weeknight, but I just happened to be in your basement."
"I'm not even away! The audacity!"
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, mouse, mice, rat, rats, fun, play, playing, playground, playgrounds, slide, slides, swing, swings, swing set, swing sets, saxophone, music, musical instrument, musical instruments, cliche, cliches, expression, expressions, angry, upset, audacity, rude, word play, wordplay, when the cat's away"You're really light on your feet for a dog."
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backhanded compliment, backhanded compliments, insult, insults, rude, dance, dancing, dancer, dancers, light on your feet, dog owner, dog owners, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies"The phrase you're groping for is 'Thank you.'"
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arrogance, arrogant, cat, cats, pet, pets, pet cat, pet cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat lover, cat lovers, cat loving, thanks, thank you, thank yous, cat person, cat people, ingratitude, ungrateful, ungratefulness, cat food, bad manners, impolite, rudeness, rude"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, eating, dining, reserving, reservation, reservations, dinner, waiter, waiters, server, servers, host, hosts, booking, name, names, language, languages, english, grammar, honorific, honorifics, title, titles, prefix, prefixes, dr, dr., doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, education, degree, degrees, postgraduate, postgraduates, phd, ph.d., postgraduate doctoral degree, customer service, service, rude, bad mannersI'm with crazy.
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support group, support groups, group therapy, group therapist, group therapists, therapy, therapist, therapists, insensitive, insensitivity, crazy, insane, insanity, mental illness, mental illnesses, rude, inappropriate, out of place, t-shirt, t-shirts, novelty, novelty shirt, novelty shirts, funny shirt, funny shirts"Kids burn things-if you don't like it, don't go out."
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kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, bad parents, bad parenting, child-free, child free, childless, adult, adults, burn, burning, fire, fires, flame, flames, on fire, restaurant, restaurants, eating out, dining out, couple, couples, misbehave, mischief, trouble, behaving badly, inattentive parents, wild, table, tables, meal, meals, rude, inappropriate, defensive"Insurance, anyone?"
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insurance, insurance salesman, insurance salesmen, intrude, intrudes, intrusion, intrusions, tennis match, tennis matches, salesman, salesperson, telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, rude interruption, rude, rudeness, unwelcome, surprise, surprises, surprising, aggressive, overaggressive"Pass the cream or I'll cut off your penis."
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husband, husbands, wife, wives, castrate, castrates, threat, threats, threaten, threatens, threatening, breakfast, breakfasts, breakfast table, breakfast tables, manners, bad manners, violence, violent, violent behavior, spouse, spouses, married couple, married couples, couple, couples, bad marriage, bad marriages, married life, bicker, bickers, argue, argues, arguing, argument, arguments, rude, rudeness, aggressive, aggressiveness"Pass the cream or I'll cut off your penis."
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husband, husbands, wife, wives, castrate, castrates, threat, threats, threaten, threatens, threatening, breakfast, breakfasts, breakfast table, breakfast tables, manners, bad manners, violence, violent, violent behavior, spouse, spouses, married couple, married couples, couple, couples, bad marriage, bad marriages, married life, bicker, bickers, argue, argues, arguing, argument, arguments, rude, rudeness, aggressive, aggressiveness"You're completely screwed up."
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unprofessional, rude, insult, insulting, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies, dog owner, dog owners, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, therapist, therapists, therapy, mental health, anxiety, anxieties, stress, stressed, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, counselingINTERACTIVE TV
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television, televisions, tv, t.v., tvs, interactive, interactivity, interaction, interactions, computer, computers, technologies, media, entertainment, thumb your nose, thumb ones nose, thumb one's nose, rude, rudeness, impolite, snub, snubbing, make fun, silly, silliness, answer, answering, answers"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"
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grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, deathbed, deathbeds, insensitive, death bed, death beds, spell check, spellcheck, dying, die, dies, dead, hospital, hospitals, teen, teens, teenager, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, carefree, rude, rudeness, tasteless, uncouth, question, questions, cancer, cancers"Secondhard carbs"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, health, healthy, eating healthy, healthy eating, unhealthy, carb, carbs, carbohydrate, carbohydrates, diet, diets, secondhand, secondhand smoke, bread, rude, bad manners, impolite, customer, customers"Is everything all right, Jeffrey? You never call me 'dude' anymore."
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dude, dudes, punk, punks, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents, permissive, permissiveness, disrespect, disrespects, disrespectful, rude, rudeness, impudent, impudence, punk, punks, term of endearment, terms of endearment, casual, casualness, authority, authority figure, authority figures"Well, I'm sorry, Wendell, I just assumed you knew you were a frill."
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frill, unnecessary, unneeded, redundant, redundancy, unemployed, unemployment, fired, let go, laid off, extra, embellishment, employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, business, businessmen, businessman, management, hierarchy, hiring manager, word play, name calling, rude, useless, unhelpful, office, offices"Can't you just say 'Scarlatti' instead of "Scarlatti, of course'?"
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relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, dating, argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, correcting, correction, corrections, rude, impolite, bad manners, scarlatti, composer, composers, music, baroque, classical, impatient, impatience, know-it-all, snob, snobs"Eat your lunch, and then we'll see about giving your phone back."
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mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, cell, cells, cell phone, cell phones, smart phone, smart phones, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, waiter, waiters, wait staff, waiting staff, eating out, dining out, bad service, bad customer service, customer service, confiscate, confiscating, confiscation, officious, rude, theft, thief, antisocial, unsociable"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."