"So how's everything going?"
The Snarky District
Tags:snark, snarky, sarcastic, sarcasm, sardonic, irony, ironic, contradiction, contradictions, acerbic, shops, shoppes, stores, store, storefront, storefronts, retail, retail shop, retail shopping, retail shoppes, retail shops, signs, signage, bookstore, bookstores, bookshop, bookshops, clothing store, clothing stores, gift shoppe, gift shoppes, gift shop, gift shops
"Oh, I'm really sorry. I just placed three million with some broker who called five minutes ago."
Tags:cold call, cold calls, cold calling, cold caller, cold callers, telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, sarcasm, sarcastic, harass, harasses, harassment, rich, riches, poor, poor person, poor people, poverty, middle class, working class, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors
Fun City Update
Tags:traffic, drive, driving, driver, car, cars, auto, autos, traffic jam, jam, pile up, pile-up, queue, queues, tunnel, tunnels, commute, commuter, commuting, commuters, commuter life, urban life, urban living, modern life, modern world, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcasticlly, fun, bore, bored, city, city living, toll, tolls
"Mr. Speaker, will the gentleman from Small Firearms yield the floor to the gentleman from the Big Tobacco?"
Tags:congress, congressional, house of representatives, senate, senator, representative, lawmakers, lobby, lobbying, lobbied, lobbies, sarcastic, the swamp, drain the swamp, nra, n.r.a., national rifle association, big tobacco, government, laws, governing, speaker, speaker of the house, congressman, congresswoman, tobacco, tobacco politics, regulation, regulating, business, businesses, gun rights, smoking, smoker, smokers, smoked
"I, too, want to preserve the environment, just as it is: acid rain, holes in the ozone layer, lots of crap in the air."
Tags:environment, environmental issues, preserve, preserving, preservation, pollute, pollution, polluting, pollutes, pollutants, ecology, save the planet, global warming, climate change, environmental, acid rain, acidic rain, atmosphere, ozone layer, ozone layers, ozone-layer, party, conversation, conversations, missing the point, irritate, language, perspective, sarcastic, sarcasm, demeaning, condescending, businessman, business, businesses, big business, interest, interests
Family applauding father
Tags:clap, clapping, claps, clapped, praise, praising, praised, business, businessman, fantasy, unrealistic, sarcastic, sarcasm, family, families, children, parents, earning, earner, breadwinner, breadwinners, male fantasy, business people, well done, applaud, applauding, applauds, parent, father, fathers, dad, dads
"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, marry, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, husband, husbands, wife, wives, partner, partners, spouse, spouses, women, men, nagging, nag, nagged, royal, royalty, king, kings, monarch, monarchy, sarcasm, sarcastic, ego, egotistical, egotistic, big ego, arrogance, arrogant
"Do I know how fast I was going? Isn't that your job?"
Tags:word play, play on words, irony, ironic, police, policeman, police man, police officer, officer, officers, road, roads, highway, highways, interstate, inter state, drive, driving, drives, driven, drove, speed, speeding, speeding ticket, ticket, tickets, pulled over, pull over, motorcycle cop, motorbike cop, cop, cops, sports car, sports cars, sportscar, deadpan, dead pan, sarcasm, sarcastic, bad idea, bad ideas, highway patrol, moving violation, moving violations
"An anniversary present? For me? I remembered? Well, thank me very much!"
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."
Tags:financial independence, infomercial, infomercials, ad, ads, advert, adverts, advertisement, avertisements, advertising, financial advice, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, sarcasm, sarcastic, snob, snobs, snobby, elite, elitist, elitists, independent life, independent lives, finances, personal finances
"Of all the Fortune 500, we're probably the most tongue-in-cheek."
"Don't be so chintzy with the life line!"
Tags:palmistry, palm reading, palm read, hand read, hand reading, palm-reading, palm-read, hand, hands, palm, palms, fortune, fortunes, fortune teller, fortune tellers, seer, palm reader, palmreader, palm-reader, psychic, esoteric, esoterically, mystic, mystically, mysticism, mystical, wicca, wiccan, spoof, spoofs, parody, parodied, parodies, sarcastic, sarcasm, modern life, modern, occult, crone, crones, old crone, window painter, window painting, window, windows, storefront, store front, chintzy, chintz, ironic, irony
"Yes, you've taught me a thing or two - but over twenty-plus years that's not much."
"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."
"Listen up, everybody—Charles is going to fill us in about the Grenache grape."
Tags:wine, wines, wine snob, wine snobs, bore, bores, boring, grenache, varietal, varietals, sommelier, sommeliers, sarcasm, sarcastic, wine tasting, wine tasting, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, guest, guests, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, irony, ironic, dinner party, dinner parties, lecture, lectures, lecturing
"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."
Tags:sarcastic, sarcasm, sarcasticness, text, texts, text message, text messages, misread, misreads, misreading, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, tone, tones, date, dates, dating, single, single life, single lives, misinterpret, misinterpreting, misinterpretation, hard to read, difficult to read, prickly, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, modern life, online dating, online date, online dates, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, ambiguous, ambiguity
"Oh, I'm so-o-o-o-o impressed."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, underwater, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, date, dates, dating, showing off-show-off, show-offs, attracting a mate, biology, science, predator, predators, prey, food, big mouth, mouth, mouth, opening wide, big mouth bass, impressing, impressive, impress, ego, vain, vanity, manly, men, man, women, woman, sarcasm, sarcastic, sarcastic compliment, sarcastic compliments, complimenting
"Quit worrying about corroborating your sources - it's not as if anyone's going to take all this literally."
Tags:sarcasm, sarcastic, religion, religions, religious, jesus, jesus christ, bible, scripture, scriptures, desert, deserts, religious fanatics, bible belt, scroll, scrolls, god, no evidence, no support, documentation, proof, no proof, evidence, verify, verification, interpret, interpretations, extremist, extremists, extremism
"It's not that I don't like the job you're doing—it's just that I'd like to start seeing other people do it."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, workplace, unfair, job, jobs, working world, world of work, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
Tags:modern life, modern world, modernity, politics, political, desert, stranded, stranding, irony, changing world, changing culture, dystopia, dystopian, absurd, sarcasm, sarcastic, wealth, wealthy, wealthier, conspiracy, powerful, power, power grab, mirage, mirages, consumerism, consumers, capitalism, capitalist, capitalist, late stage capitalism, third wave, late stage, political criticism, criticism, critical, critic
Woman on Subway's Thoughts
Tags:anachronistic, anachronism, time traveller, time travel, time traveling, subway, subways, public transit, train, trains, tube, tubes, underground, metro, metro trains, public transportation, internal monologue, internal monologues, sports memorabilia, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart devices, unsocial media, fashion, fashions, sportswear, nonconformist, nonconformity, sarcasm, sarcastic, satire, satirical, satires, critique, critiques, criticism, criticisms, observations, observation, observe, thinking, thoughts, women, woman
"Hey, Baby, I just dropped the kids off at school, and now I'm going to the grocery store, and then I'm going home and unloading the car—am I making you hot?"
"Like many large people, Benson moves with remarkable grace."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, dance, dancer, dancers, ballet, ballerina, ballerinas, ballerino, ballerinos, fat, fat people, big people, obese, overweight, out of shape, graceful, sarcasm, sarcastic, fitness, unfit, unhealthy, making fun