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Pirate Squirrels Looking for Buried Treasure

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"I just feel fortunate to live in a world with so much disinformation at my fingertips."

The Ungooglable Man

"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."

"Why didn't you bring a cardigan or lightweight jacket?"

"A la Recherche d'une Lentille de Contact," d'apres Millet.

"There, there! Two, maybe three doors down. Someone has an idea!"

"My name is Proust. I've forgotten my room number."

Life is a bitch and then you die.

"Well, I'll be darned. They had just walked away."

"I hope you like sports metaphors."

Lost Pigeon.

"Always the last place you look."

"Have ye seen a whale that matches this swatch?"

"How's the self-diagnosis coming?"

"This seems like a lot of work for one lost contact."

"Have you seen my pistol, Honey-bun?"

The Tiny Phone.

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

"He has no distinguishing features,really, but you can't miss him."

"Have you tried looking in the ocean?"

"I keep the good truth in the back."

"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."