"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
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air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service"I can remember when there would have been a fire truck here in ten minutes, tops!"
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, cat, cats, cat owner, cat owners, tree, trees, stuck, stuck in a tree, complain, complaining, complaint, complaints, firefighter, firefighters, firemen, fireman, ladder, ladders, fire truck, fire trucks, firetruck, firetrucks, fire engine, fire engines, time, timely, slow, service, rescue, rescues, rescuing, slow response, response rate"Sorry folks-it's not what you ordered, but everyone is getting fettucine until we fix the computer."
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restaurant, restaurants, eating out, dining out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, pasta, fettuccine, order, orders, ordering, pos system, pos systems, point of sale, system, systems, system failure, problem, problems, computer, computers, issue, issues, cooking, serving, kitchen, kitchens, chef, chefs, failure, failures, modern life, restaurant problems, restaurant issues, technology"Thank you, sir. I see you're not hopelessly liberal."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, end of the meal, tip, tips, tipping, tipping culture, leaving a tip, small tip, small tips, hopelessly, liberal, liberals, conservative, conservatives, democrat, democrats, republican, republicans, politics, minimum wage, living wage"If you represent special interests, I can seat you immediately."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, host, hosts, maitre d', head waiter, head waiters, front of house, service, customer service, seat, seats, seating, table, tables, government, government, politics, political, washington, d.c., washington dc, capitol hill, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, american, american politics, american government, special interests, special interest group, special interest groups, sig, sigs, lobbying, lobbyist, lobbyists, unethical, ethics, corruption, vip, vips, v.i.p., v.i.p.s, very important people, very important person, special, special treatment, preferred treatment, preferential treatment"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, eating, dining, reserving, reservation, reservations, dinner, waiter, waiters, server, servers, host, hosts, booking, name, names, language, languages, english, grammar, honorific, honorifics, title, titles, prefix, prefixes, dr, dr., doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, education, degree, degrees, postgraduate, postgraduates, phd, ph.d., postgraduate doctoral degree, customer service, service, rude, bad manners"Would you mind bringing me a Western utensil?"
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restaurant, restaurants, japanese, japan, china, chinese, korea, korean, asia, asian, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, utensil, utensils, spoon, spoons, fork, forks, knife, knives, chopstick, chopsticks, western, international, foreign, unfamiliar"How was your lonely little dinner, sir?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, eating alone, alone, solo, lonely, loneliness, solitude, single, man, men, waiter, waiters, server, servers, dinner, dinners, meal, meals, food, service, dining, forever alone, sir"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."
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air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, delay, delays, delayed, late, inconvenience, voucher, vouchers, service, customer service, death, life, waiting, wait, long waits, redeem, redeemable, courtesy, wasting time, wasted time"I can't quite picture who would enjoy a gift in that price range."
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gift counsellor, gift counsellors, gift counselor, gift counselors, department store, department stores, shopping mall, shopping malls, mall, malls, gift, gifts, present, presents, counselling, counseling, price, prices, price range, money, finances, customer, customers, customer request, customer requests, customer service, service, shopping, shopper, shoppers, christmas shopping, xmas shopping, man, men, difficult, consumerism"I'm afraid the chocolate cake puts you over the calorie cap."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, food, meal, meals, waiter, waiters, server, servers, customer service, service, menu, menus, ordering, order, orders, bad service, bad customer service, rude service, rude waiter, bad waiter, rude waiters, bad waiters, rude server, bad server, rude servers, bad servers, calorie, calories, counting calories, calorie cap, calorie caps, caloric intake, weight, watching your weight, diet, diets, dieting, going on a diet, losing weight, weight-loss, restriction, restrictions, restricting calories, overeating, chocolate cake, chocolate cakes, dessert, desserts, obesity, obesity crisis"With your large bucket of popcorn, you get your choice of Milk Duds, Jujubes or Strawberry Twizzlers."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, special, specials, combo, combos, concession, concessions, snack, snacks, popcorn, candy, sweets, chocolate, chocolates, liquorice, licorice, movie, movies, film, films, movie theatre, movie theatres, movie theater, movie theaters, cinema, cinemas, junk foodLunch Broker
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, lunch, lunches, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting, advice, advising, broker, brokers, offer, offers, sale, hungry, hunger, veal parmesan, chicken cacciatore, agent, agents, dealer, dealers, finances, financial, money, investment, investments, investing"Sorry, sir, but none of our food is very good. It's the chef's way of punishing the rich."
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recommendation, recommendations, waiter, waiters, waiting, wait staff, front of house, service, server, servers, serving, rich, rich person, rich people, service industry, honest, honesty, haute cuisine, cuisine, bad food, posh, upper class, upper classes, diner, diners, dining, eat out, eats out, eating out, irate, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining, dissatisfied, dissatisfaction"Does your waitress have any identifying marks or tattoos?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, waiter, waiters, waitress, waitresses, server, servers, identifying mark, identifying marks, tattoo, tattoos, lost, disappear, disappeared, disappearing, gone, can't find, waiting, bad server, bad waitresses, bad waitress, bad servers, bad service, service"Do you want that with or without angioplasty?"
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angioplasty, heart surgery, fat, saturated fat, fats, unhealthy, cholesterol, service, fitness, dining, dines, businessmen, businessman, heart attack, heart attacks, coronary heart disease, cardiac arrest, angioplasties, operation, operations, operating, medical, medicine, stent, stents, mesh, meshes, fatty, greasy, diner, booth, killer"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, bar, bars, pub, pubs, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, liquor, booze, waiting"Can the chef prepare it in some way no one has ever prepared anything before?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, customer, customers, customer request, customer requests, picky, picky eater, picky eaters, fussy, fussy eater, fussy eaters, difficult customer, difficult customers, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, food preparation, culinary, kitchen, kitchens, impossible, request, requests"I can recommend the coho salmon in a wine-dill sauce, with a suggested retail price of twenty-four ninety-five. However, you may have it for only eighteen ninety-five if you order now."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, food, meal, meals, dining, eating, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, salmon, coho salmon, menu, menus, order, orders, ordering, sale, limited sale, on sale, order now, limited time, timed sale, deal, deals, price, prices, cost, costs, special, specials, on special, modern life"Hello. My name is Maury, and I'm going to be your crazy person today."
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restaurant, dining, service, waiter, waiting, homeless, crazy, insane, outdoor seating, outdoor seat, outdoor seats, waiter, waiters, wait staff, waiting tables, homeless, homeless person, homeless people, mental illness, mentally ill, sidewalk, sidewalks, sidewalk cafe, sidewalk cafes, vagrant, vagrants, bum, bums"What's wrong with that quiet little table for two in front of the Rangers game?"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, table, tables, quiet little table, table for two, television, televisions, tv, tvs, t.v., t.v.s, watching tv, watching television, sport, sports, watching sports, hockey, ice hockey, watching hockey, fan, fans, sports fan, sports fans, hockey fan, hockey fans, new york, ny, romantic, date, dates, romantic dinner, romantic dinners, dating, playoff, playoffs, play-off, play-offs, hockey play-off, hockey play-offs, hockey playoffs, hockey playoff, playoff game, playoff games, play-off game, play-off games, husbands, husband, boyfriend, boyfriends, men, man, married life, modern life, marriage, marriages, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems"Everything's fine, thanks."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, lazy, laziness, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, call, calls, calling, technology, modern life"Might I recommend the cud?"
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, cow, cows, bull, bulls, cattle, livestock, bovine, cud, cuds, restaurant, restaurants, diner, diners, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting"Might I recommend the orange Crayola for the smaller flowers and the blue-green for the foliage."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting, drawing, colouring, coloring, crayon, crayons, art, artist, artists, colour, colours, color, colors, tablecloth, tablecloths, table, tables, flowers, foliage