"The question is, Is static electricity better than no electricity at all?"
Tags:surprise, surprises, bad news, ugly surprise, ugly surprises, pregnancy, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures, cancer, malignant, malignancy, divorce, divorces, surprise party, surprise parties, birthday party, birthday parties, flunk, flunks, fired, firing, firings, unexpected, news, shock, shocks, shocking, surprising, unfortunate
"Sorry, Ted. I probably should have said 'spoiler alert' before I fired you."
Tags:job, jobs, career, careers, boss, bosses, manager, managers, management, fired, firing, laid off, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, work, worker, workers, workplace, unemployed, unemployment, employer, employers, employee, employees, spoiler alert, spoilers, surprise, surprised, shock, shocked, shocking, let go, office, offices, office workers, white collar, white collar jobs
"Don't worry Phil, we're just moving you down to four."
"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."
Tags:ombudsman, ombudsmen, parents, parent, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mother, mothers, motherhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, family, families, investigate, investigator, investigators, investigating, investigative, authority, critic, complaint, complaints, house, household, troubleshoot, troubleshooter, troubleshooting, troubleshooters, adviser, advisers, counsellor, counsellors, family counselling, angry, anger, shock, shocked, surprised, shocking, mad, child protective services
"Three Hysterically Blind Mice"
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, mother goose, three blind mice, mice, mouse, animal, animals, rodent, rodents, rat, rats, character, characters, blind, hysterical, trauma, past trauma, traumatised, traumatic experience, traumatic experiences, upset, upsetting, distress, distressing, shock, shocking, stress, mental health, cat, cats, owl, owls, mouse trap, mouse traps, trap, traps, dark humor, dark humour
Safety Tips from the American Council to Avoid Static Shocks
Tags:safety tip, safety tips, tip, tips, static, static shock, static shocks, static electricity, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, irritation, irritations, irritating, carpet, carpets, staticky, shock, shocks, shocking, electric shock, electric shocks, government program, government programs, task force, task forces, federal task force, federal task forces, petty problem, petty problems
"What's that look? C'mon, you're scaring me!"
Tags:hunter, hunters, hunting, blood sport, blood sports, bird, birds, eagle, eagles, american eagle, dog, dogs, bald eagle, bald eagle, patriot, patriots, patriotism, the american dream, america, usa, americans, emblem, emblems, tradition, traditions, national emblem, national emblems, america the brave, free, freedom, land of the free, great seal of the us, great seal of the united states, national bird, national birds, expression, expressions, regret, regretting, regretful, regrets, shock, shocked, shocking
"The strings are catgut."
Tags:cat, cats, catgut, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, domestic, domestic cat, pet, pets, music, musical, violin, violinist, violin lessons, lesson, lessons, music lesson, instrument, musical instruments, musical instrument, violins, viola, violas, music teacher, teacher, teaching, class, classes, study, studied, shock, shocked, shocks, shocking, surprise, surprised, surprising, surprises
"We could argue forever about whether or not that was justified.
Tags:justifiable homicide, justifiable homicides, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, argue, argues, arguing, argument, arguments, shock, shocks, shocking, horrified, horrific, kill, kills, killing, underling, underlings, ceo, ceos, executive, executives, entitled, entitlement, shooting, shootings, shooter, shooters, debate, debates, debating, meeting, meetings, above the law
"I knew you wore a toupee but now you're telling me the moustache is fake?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, couple, couples, marriage, marriages, married life, husband, husbands, boyfriend, boyfriends, man, men, dating, date, dates, false, fake, wig, wigs, toupee, toupees, hairpiece, hairpieces, balding, hairloss, hair loss, alopecia, facial hair, moustache, moustaches, mustache, mustaches, lie, lies, liar, liars, lying, dishonest, dishonesty, revelation, revelations, confession, confessions, shocking, beauty, beauty standards
"Thirty years together and now you tell me you're Canadian?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, surprise, surprises, shocking, revelation, revelations, confession, confession, secret, secrets, canada, canadian, canadians, canuck, canucks, nationality, nationalities, citizenship
How to tease a Red-Stater
Tags:red state, red states, red stater, red-stater, red staters, red-staters, republican, republicans, metropolitan elite, the metropolitan elite, southerner, bible belt, the south, the deep south, the bible belt, rapture, the rapture, shock, shocks, shocking, apocalypse, the apocalypse, end of the world, the end of the world, missed the news, missing the news
"That having been said, Let's get down to business."
Sightings reported to Americans for Decency
Tags:sighting, sightings, decency, decent, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining, cereal, cereal bowl, cereal bowls, offend, offends, offensive, shock, shocks, shocking, conservative, conservatives, inappropriate, hidden message, hidden messages, cartoons, animated film, animated films
"He was weak with the flu to start with and then the initial shock of the new tax code did him in."
Tags:death, dead, flu, influenza, sick, sickness, ill, illness, weak, weakened, shock, shocks, shocking, tax code, tax codes, tax, taxes, doing taxes, money, finances, personal finances, tax law, tax laws, taxation, irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, internal revenue code, mourning, grieving, bereaved, widow, widows, politics, government, governments
"First of all, if you're not sitting down, you should sit down."
Tags:alien, aliens, martian, martians, surprise, surprising, television, televisions, contacts, contact, e.t., extra terrestrial, extraterrestrial, extra-terrestrial, sit down, if you're not sitting down, tv, t.v., shock, shocking, shocked, broadcast, broadcasting, life, intelligent life, space, spaceships, ufo, u.f.o, unidentified flying object
"Confound it, staff knows this door's to be kept locked!"
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, hunting, hunter, hunters, high society, rich, the rich, rich people, rich man, big game hunting, big game, big game hunter, trophy, trophies, trophy hunting, human, human head, gory, fear, horror, classic horror, shock, shocking, strange, surreal, imagery, wall, walls, mansion, mansions, haunted, haunted house, halloween
"Sorry - this was supposed to be a map of Peru!"
Tags:education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, lesson, lessons, kid, kids, child, children, anatomy, skeleton, skeletons, skull, skulls, muscle, muscles, shocked, shocking, scary, horrifying, gruesome, map, maps, peru
Letter from Camp* (*with Footnotes)
Tags:camp, summer camp, summer, camper, campers, teen, teens, teenager, child, children, kid, kids, letter, letters, letters home, letter home, letters from camp, handwritten letter, handwritten letters, mom & dad, mom and dad, mum and dad, mum & dad, parent, parents, mom, moms, dad, dads, mum, mums, mother, mothers, father, fathers, parenting, daughter, daughters, family, families, translation, translations, key, keys, footnote, footnotes, counsellor, counsellors, counselor, counselors, kiss, kissed, boy, boys, pierce, piercing, life with teens, life with teenagers, read between the lines, shocking, hiking, kayaking, scavenger hunt, real meaning, true meaning
"And if we start televising the executions we can also market a hilarious bloopers tape."
Tags:marketing, marketing, brand, brands, branding, public relations, idea, ideas, profit, profits, amoral, immoral, shock, shocking, consumerism, mass media, media coverage, internet culture, sale, sales, dignity, capitalism, money making, salesmen, salesman, gross, board, boardroom, meeting, meetings, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death, cop, cops, officer, officers, police officer, police officers, capital punishment, death penalty
"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."
Tags:break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, split, split up, splitting up, split-up, absurd, shock, shocking, religion, religions, religious, creation, creationism, creationist, genesis, garden of eden, eden, original sin, sins, eve, adam, god, gods, christian, christianity, christians, the bible, bible, biblical, paradise, garden of paradise
"Well, sweetheart, it's Mr. Sea Star's only defense mechanism."
Tags:seastar, seastars, sea star, sea stars, sea-star, sea-stars, defence mechanism, defence mechanism, defense mechanism, defense mechanisms, sea creature, sea creature, the middle finger, swear, swears, swearing, insult, insulted, insults, insulting, rude, rudeness, shock, shocked, shocking, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, starfish, starfishes, asteroidea, echinoderm, echinoderms
Which one of you is working on the real data and which one of you is working on the sanitized data?"
Tags:businessman, businessmen, exec, execs, executive, executives, career, careers, big business, corporate, corporation, corporations, day job, offices, office job, office drone, office drones, cubicles, cubicle, offices, office building, office ecology, office politics, modern life, modern world, working life, working world, desk job, desk jockey, data, sanitized, sanitised, scrub, scrubbed, accounts, accounting, data analysis, analysis, shock, shocking, whistleblower, whistle-blower, whistle blower, fraud, fraudulent, bad, bad sign, bad signs, visual gag