"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"
Tags:medical, medicine, medicines, meds, drug, pill, pills, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, prescription, prescriptions, sickness, sick, ill, illness, disease, diseases, money, expensive, inexpensive, cheap, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, healthcare, generic, generics, doctor, doctors, big pharma, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, patient, patients
"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."
"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
Tags:early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life
"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medic, medical, medics, medical joke, modern medicine, modern world, exploit, exploitation, consumerism, consumer, capitalist, capitalism, private, private healthcare, healthcare, health, public healthcare, medicare, medi care, nhs, national health service, pro nhs, pro medicare, national health care, obamacare, death, dead, family, bitter humor, bitter humour, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, console, consoling, consolation, intensive care, sick, sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, sicknesses, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery
The Couple Who Didn't Come Down With The Flu
"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medicine, medicines, health, healthy, health-care, health care, healthcare, medicare, medi care, obamacare, obama care, health insurance, insurance, medical insurance, patient, patients, nurse, out-of-pocket, out of pocket, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, get well, get well soon, critic, critical, critique, critically
"You made that diagnosis just to be mean."
"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."
Tags:bearer, bearer of bad news, bad news, terminal, terminally, terminal illness, illness, ill, sick, sickness, healthy, medically, doctor, doctors, consultant, consulting, depressed, depressing, depression, mortality, mortal, get well, get well soon, morbid, morbidly, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, dying, die, died, die of, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, check up, check-up, appointment
"It's not just me, Doctor. He's been turning away from the New York 'Times' as well."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, health, symptom, symptoms, ill, illness, sick, sickness, exam, exams, examination, examinations, turning away, refusing, mental health, depression, depressed, sad, problem, problems, news, newspaper, newspapers, journalism, media, new york, ny, strange behavior, strange behaviour, unusual behavior, unusual behaviour, worried, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses
"You can't be insured, Harry and Louise, because of your preëxisting condition."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, medical insurance, medical insurance company, medical insurance companies, health insurance company, health insurance companies, healthcare, healthcare provider, healthcare providers, preexisting, preexisting condition, preexisting conditions, rejection, rejections, turned down, denied, ineligible, commercial, commercials, ad, ads, advertise, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"My career doesn't reflect what my passions are as much as where my health insurance is."
Tags:career, careers, careerist, careerists, health insurance, insurance, american healthcare, healthcare, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, ideal job, ideal jobs, dream job, dream jobs, practical, practicality, affordable healthcare, affordable, unaffordable, chronic illness, chronic illnesses, illness, sick, sickness, medical bill, medical bills, medical fee, medical fees, fee, fees, bill, bills
"We'd like you to leave out the poorer, sickness, and death parts - they're a little dark."
Tags:vow, vows, marriage vow, marriage vows, personal vow, personal vows, marriage ceremony, marriage ceremonies, 'til death do us part, depressing, depression, depression, dark, sickness, wedding, weddings, bride, brides, groom, grooms, minister, ministers, request, requests, requesting, marriage vow, marriage vows, priest, priests, favor, favors, favour, favours, ask a favor, asking a favor
"Fortunately, you have the life savings of a man three times your age."
Tags:ill, illness, sick, sickness, in hospital, hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, saving, savings, life saving, life saving, wealth, wealthy rich, insurance, medical insurance, insurance policy, insurance policies, unwell, treatment, treatments, cost of treatment, the cots of treatment, unaffordable, expensive, no medical insurance, investment, investments, costly, patient, patients, captive market, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists
Providing Healthcare For All
"It's lotto fever."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, medical, medicine, diagnosis, diagnoses, sick, sickness, ill, illness, bed-ridden, fever, fevers, running a fever, temperature, temperatures, thermometer, thermometers, number, numbers, lottery, lotteries, gambling, gambler, gamblers, jackpot, jackpots, money, lotto fever, prize, prizes, sweepstakes, lottery ticket, lottery tickets, playing the lottery, lottery addict, lottery addicts, lottery addiction, gambling addict, gambling addicts, gambling addiction, word play, wordplay
"Now, if you're feeling adventurous we can undercook the chicken."
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommending, suggest, suggestion, suggestions, suggesting, adventurous, courageous, brave, bravery, chicken, under cooked chicken, raw chicken, pink chicken, food poisoning, foodborne illness, foodborne disease, salmonella, bacteria, sick, sickness, ill, illness, unhygienic, unsanitary, bad idea, bad ideas, chicken sashimi, chicken tartare, health, unhealthy, unsafe, safety, food safety
"Hi. This is Ed, over at the I.R.S., just checking to see how you're feeling after your audit."
Gravestone with an inscription reading "James Paul Smythe 1914-1992 Never sick a day in life - and now this".
"You have a serious illness of an undisclosed nature."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, diagnoses, serious illness, ill, illness, sick, sickness, undisclosed, secret, secrets, unknown, death, terminal illness, obituary, obituaries, word play, wordplay, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"You are a very sick rabbit."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, shrink, shrinks, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, patient, patients, mental health, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, rabbit, rabbits, bunny, bunnies, sick, sickness, ill, illness, medicine, medical, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, personification, word play, wordplay
"That liver went to someone who doesn't have such a big yap."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, sick, sickness, ill, illness, transplant, transplants, liver, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donor, organ donors, angry, anger, annoyed, annoying, big mouth, big mouth, talkative, offensive, insulting, loudmouth, loudmouths, rude, transplant list, transplant lists, dying, lost, ineligible, bias, prejudice, insensitive, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
Guess your weight-related illness.
Tags:amusement park, amusement parks, scales, guess your weight, guessing your weight, carnival, carnivals, carnival game, carnival games, fair, fairs, weigh, weight, weights, heavy, heaviness, obese, obesity, obesity epidemic, illness, illnesses, sick, sickness, sicknesses, health problem, health problems, heart condition, heart conditions, heart attack, heart attacks, heat disease, heart diseases, diagnose, diagnosis, diagnosing
"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, divorce, divorced, divorcing, marital, breakup, break up, breakups, break ups, break-up, break-ups, hospital, hospitals, medical, emergency, emergencies, life changing event, waiting room, waiting rooms, remarry, worse than breaking up by text, illness, ill, sick, sickness, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeons, intensive care, health care, side effect, side effects, recovery, recovering, recover, bearer of bad news, good news and bad news, good news, bad news
"You're in luck, in a way. Now is the time to be sick-while Medicare still has some money."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, sick, sickness, ill, illness, health, health care, healthcare, bill, bills, money, medical bill, medical bills, medical costs, cost, costs, expenses, expensive, medical billing, health insurance, medical insurance, insurance, universal healthcare, universal health care, socialised medicine, socialized medicine, socialised healthcare, socialised health care, socialized healthcare, socialized health care, medicaid, medicare, obamacare, luck, lucky, good luck, economy, government, governments, finances, politics
Alternative illnesses for alternative medicine.
Tags:alternative medicine, holistic medicine, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, karma, aura, auras, past-life, past-lives, reincarnation, crystal, crystals, healing, cure, cures, pseudoscience, superstition, superstitious, unscientific