"Where did you get those big brown eyes and that tiny mind
Tags:brown eyes, brain, brains, smart, smarts, insult, insults, insulting, dating, dating life, single life, single lives, small mind, small minded, condescend, condescends, condescending, argue, argues, argument, arguments, fight, fights, fighting, sexist, sexism, chauvinist, chauvinists, chauvinism, gender, gendered
"But enough about my body. Let's talk about your body."
Tags:pickup line, pickup lines, chat up line, chat up lines, chatting up, vain, vanity, superficial, superficiality, attractive, attractiveness, cocktail party, cocktail parties, fit, fitness, exercise, exercises, exercising, workout, workouts, working out, workout routine, workout routines, beach, beaches, narcissist, narcissists, narcissistic, los angeles, la, l.a., model, models, modeling, modelling, single life, cocktail bar, cocktail bars, beach bar, beach bars
"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."
Tags:date, dates, dating, single life, resume, resumes, application, applications, job application, job applications, defensive, attorney, attorneys, modern life, modern lives, identity, identities, identification, identifications, driver's license, modern life, modern times, blind date, blind dates, internet date, internet dates, internet dating, dating site, dating sites
"They're all sons of bitches."
"Honey, I'm home."
"If it makes you feel better—yes, I am heterocentric."
"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."
Tags:pilot, pilots, skywriter, skywriters, skywriting, sky-writer, sky-writers, sky-writing, breakup, breakups, breaking up, split up, splits up, splitting up, break-up, break-ups, dumped, dumping, celebrity breakup, celebrity breakups, preempt, preempts, preempting, publicity, difficult conversation, difficult conversations, single, single life, rumor, rumors, rumour, rumours
"Surely two people as intelligent as we are can work out some method of falling in love."
Tags:fall in love, falls in love, falling in love, intelligent, intelligence, incompatible, incompatibility, compatible, compatibility, chemistry, lack of chemistry, date, dates, dating, single life, desperate, desperation, brain, brains, academic, academics, scholar, scholars, educated, educated people, egghead, eggheads, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, geeky, nerdy, scientist, scientists, study, studies, studying
"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."
Tags:connect, connects, connecting, connection, incompatible, compatibility, psychobabble, technobabble, techie, tech, tech lover, tech lovers, personable, date, dates, dating, single life, single, bad date, bad dates, no spark, talk past each other, talking past each other, impersonal, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, dinner date, dinner dates, blind date, blind dates
A turkey displays a deck of cards.
Tags:cards, pick a card, magician, magicians, magic trick, magic tricks, illusion, illusions, close-up, close-up magic, magic, deck of cards, fan out, fans out, fanning out, woo, woos, wooing, flirt, flirts, flirting, illusion, illusions, illusionist, illusionists, display, displays, displaying, feather, feathers, single, single life, bachelor, bachelors
"Right swipe, right swipe, right swipe..."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issue, relationship problems, love, dating, date, dates, single, singles, single life, dating app, dating apps, internet dating, online dating, swiping right, desperate, desperation, cupid, cupids, arrow, arrows, bow, bows, bow and arrow, eros, greek mythology, looking for love, matching, match, matches, matchmaker, matchmakers, matchmaking, technology, app, apps, application, applications, modern life, millennial, millennials
"I once mistakenly thought I was dating someone for a whole month because I couldn't tell his texts were sarcastic."
Tags:sarcastic, sarcasm, sarcasticness, text, texts, text message, text messages, misread, misreads, misreading, misunderstand, misunderstands, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, tone, tones, date, dates, dating, single, single life, single lives, misinterpret, misinterpreting, misinterpretation, hard to read, difficult to read, prickly, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, modern life, online dating, online date, online dates, internet dating, internet dating site, internet dating sites, ambiguous, ambiguity
"Good to meet you, too, Sarah. See you in the A.M."
Tags:meet, meets, meeting, one night stand, one night stands, introduce, introduces, introducing, introduction, introductions, modern relationship, modern relationships, modern life, modern times, date, dates, dating, single life, promiscuous, promiscuity, meet, meets, meeting, greet, greets, greeting, greetings
"How come we never sleep at my place?"
Tags:bed of nails, beds of nails, uncomfortable, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriend, girlfriends, stay over, stays over, staying over, yogi, yogis, sleep over, sleeps over, sleeping over, apartment, apartments, bed, beds, discomfort, sleepover, sleepovers, single life, single lives, asceticism, ascetic, ascetics
"I'm out of the closet but under the radar."
Tags:love, loving, romance, romantic, romancing, dates, dating, loves, loved, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, gay, gay marriage, mlm, man loving man, lgbt, lgbtq, lgbtq+, inclusive, inclusivity, relationship, married, out of the closet, closet, under the radar, radar, pass, passing, single, single life, bachelor, bachelorhood, confirmed bachelor, modern life, modern love, wit, witty, wisecrack, technical, technically, word play, play on words, word-play, after work, post-work, drinks, drink, drinking, friend, friends
The Neuro — The First Official Worldwide Currency
Tags:neurotic, neuroses, paranoid, paranoia, self-esteem, self-esteem issue, self-esteem issues, hate, hates, dating, dating life, dating lives, single life, single lives, single, singles, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, lonely, loneliness, self-confident, self-confidence, concern, concerns, concerned, currency, currencies, therapist, therapists, therapy, phone call, phone calls, call, calls, phone, phones, wait, waits, waiting
"I'm inside the cake waiting to jump out."
Tags:cake, cakes, suspense, wait, waits, waiting, impatient, date, dates, dating, metaphor, metaphors, analogy, analogies, comparison, comparisons, complaint, complaints, date, dates, dating, dating life, single life, engagement, engaged, long engagement, fear of commitment, commitment, anticipation, baited breath
" I'm sorry. I was so busy listening to myself talk that I forgot what I was saying."
Tags:self-involved, self-obsessed, self-obsession, talk, talks, talking, conversation, conversations, conversationalist, conversationalists, bad date, bad dates, date, dates, dating, single, single life, ignore, ignores, ignoring, not listening, husband, husbands, wife wives, argument, arguments, bicker, bickers, bickering, fight, fights, fighting, couple, couples, chat, chats, chatting
A man irons one of his pant legs.
Tags:pants, trousers, iron, irons, ironing, wrinkle, wrinkles, wrinkled, trousers, ironing board, ironing boards, household duty, household duties, chore, chores, household, bachelor, bachelors, shortcut, shortcuts, shortcutting, leg, legs, pantleg, pantlegs, pant leg, pant legs, tired, exhausted, unmarried, single life
"I had a wonderful time. I just wish you were Oprah giving away cars."
Tags:oprah, oprah winfrey, giveaway, giveaways, handout, handouts, hand out, hand outs, free car, free cars, new car, new cars, car, cars, date, dates, dating, single life, expectation, expectations, expectant, expecting, unrealistic, rich, riches, rich person, rich people, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, gift, gifts, free gift, free gifts
"It turned out that everything he poured out to me that night on the bridge was spin."
Tags:spin, spins, spin doctor, spin doctors, spill your guts, spilling your guts, mislead, misleads, misleading, date, dates, dating, single, singles, single life, commiserate, commiserates, commiserating, commiseration, lie, lies, lying, liar, boyfriend, boyfriends, husband, husbands, gaslight, gaslights, gaslighting, spouse, spouses, partner, partners, dishonest, dishonesty, damage control, betrayal, betrayals, betraying
"On my way home today on the bus, a lone grape rolled down the aisle and came to rest near my foot. It was pale free and looked to be of the seedless variety."
Tags:bus, buses, public transit, public transportation, transportation, commuting, commuter, commuters, litter, messy, grape, grapes, lonely, loneliness, alone, single, singles, single life, forever alone, daily grind, dog owner, dog owners, pet owner, pet owners, pet, pets, dog, dogs, canine, canines, animal, animals, man's best friend
Not a huge fan of my wife's new boyfriend.
Tags:t-shirt, shirt, shirts, novelty shirt, novelty shirts, novelty t-shirt, novelty t-shirts, fan, fans, infidelity, infidelities, spouse, spouses, cheater, cheaters, divorce, divorces, jealous, jealousy, ex, exes, ex-wife, ex-wives, ex-husband, ex-husbands, date, dates, dating, single, newly single, lonely, sad, unhappy, single life
"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."
"I've found someone else who thinks I'm really attractive."