Skilled Cartoons

"Actually, he's not so bad, considering that he's recipe-dependent."

"The bunny did not get the job because the bunny is cute. The bunny got the job because the bunny knows WordPerfect."

"Wow, you're right—this is hard."

"O.K., laugh, but this is going to be my ticket out of here."

"Look, I know you think you've got the stuff, but I'm telling you: walk God."

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

A man smoking a post-coital cigarette sees a woman leaving a note in a suggestions box.

“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"If I were beached, could I do this?"

"The kid's good."

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

"You must believe me, Jane. I have excellent narrative skills."

Paralegal eagle.

"Look, I don't like feeling sorry for myself, but I think if you want something done right you have to do it yourself."

The Swat Team of 15-L

"Perhaps it will surprise you to learn the following—you've been beaten by your very own wife!"

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

"I think you'll find I'm hard working, tech-savvy, and should the need arise, willing to wear a wire."

"Sometimes all you want is a mediocre place to eat something you could have made better yourself if you weren't so lazy."

Me vs. Someone who clearly knows what they're doing.

"He's the Tiger Woods of dodgeball."

Death Defying Stunt.