"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."
Tags:family, families, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, father, fatherhood, son, sons, return home, returning home, empty nester, empty nesters, living with parents, career, failed career, difficult career, job, work, unemployment, investment banking, business, bank, banks, money, welcome home, suitcase, suitcases, luggage, baggage, doorstep, family home
"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, kid, kids, child, childhood, sports, sport, soccer, football, soccer game, football game, too busy, neglect, neglected, neglectful, forgetful, careless, hollywood, rich, famous, wealthy, rich people, wealthy people, convertible, convertibles, driving, drive, car, cars, disappoint, disappointed
"Of course it's not my son. My son is a nitwit. That's me, thirty years ago."
Tags:son, sons, family photo, family photos, family photograph, family photographs, family life, proud father, proud fathers, proud dad, proud dads, dad, dads, father, fathers, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotism, businessmen, businessman, corporate culture, narcissistic, narcissism, narcissist, narcissists
"Thanks for almost everything, Dad."
Tags:buttocks, butt, gene, genes, inherit, inherits, inheritance, bum, bums, thanks, thank you, thank yous, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, callipygian, grateful, gratitude, body, body shape, body shapes, body dysmorphia, body dysmorphic disorder, bdd, self-conscious, self-consciousness, problem area, problem areas, carry weight, carrying weight, weight
"Of course there was sex and drugs when I was your age, but it was sex and drugs about ending the war."
Tags:hippy, hippies, counterculture, free spirit, nonconformist, 1960's, end war, ending the war, anti war, generations, younger generation, older generation, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, memories, old and young, peace, hallucinogenic drugs, protest, protester, protesters
A store clerk files greeting cards for different types of moms
Tags:card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, mother's day, happy mother's day, mother's day card, mother's day cards, types of moms, types of mums, types of mothers, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, soccer, hockey, son, sons, daughter, daughters, retail, consumerism, shopping, staff, clerk, clerks, section, sections, filing, sorting, putting away, organizing, organising
"Now you've got the hang of it!"
Tags:animal, animals, snake, snakes, scare, scary, bite, bitten, snake bite, snake bites, snakebite, snakebites, poison, poisoned, poisonous, venom, venomous, strike, attack, dead, death, child, children, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, proud parent, proud parents, son, sons, daughter, daughter, teacher, teachers, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, get the hang of it, got the hang of it
"For Father's Day, I'm giving my dad an hour of free tech support."
Tags:tech support, fathers day, father's day, gift, gifts, present, presents, technical support, holiday, holidays, young generation, younger generations, computer, computer whiz, computer whizzes, computer nerd, computer nerds, nerd, nerds, geek, geeks, computer geek, computer geeks, son, sons, father, fathers, dad, dads
"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, bully, bullies, bullying, bullied, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, stress, stressful, stressing, stressed, anxiety, anxious
"Dad, remember how you bungled the Lorton account?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, dad, dads, father, fathers, fatherhood, son, sons, elementary school, primary school, school, schools, guilt, guilty, report card, report cards, bad grades, bad marks, bungle, mistake, mistakes, badly done, messed up
"Which cupcakes are for boys?"
"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."
Tags:west, western, wild west, wildwest, hillbilly, hillbillies, shack, shacks, farm, farms, farmer, farmers, farming, ranch, ranches, cattle ranches, cattle ranch, chicken, chickens, hen, hens, poultry, chicken farming, agriculture, agribusiness, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, father, fathers, son, sons, child, children, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, businesspeople, business executive, chicken farmers, business man, business men, business people, business person, executive, ceo, depression, economic depression, financial crash, crash, crashes, financial crashes, crisis, economic crisis, financial crisis, city, cities, city worker, big city, the big city, debt, in debt, city workers, hot shot, hot shots, farm house, farm house, traders, trading, trader, stock market, stock market trader
"Dad, would you consider a leadership gift to my snowboard capital campaign?"
Tags:snowboard, snowboards, save up, saves up, saving up, dad, dads, son, sons, goal, goals, snowboarder, snowboarders, campaign contribution, campaign contributions, campaign contributor, campaign contributors, gift, gifts, donation, donations, donate, donates, spin, spins, spinning, opportunity, opportunities, hobby, winter sport, winter sports
"They just made a little money the old-fashioned way, Ben–they stole it."
Tags:judge, judges, judged, judicial, judiciary, jury, juror, jurors, jury duty, law, lawyer, lawyers, legal, legality, legalism, alibi, excuse, excuses, businessman, businessmen, corporate, corporation, corporations, private individual, rich people, rich, corporate crime, conspiracy, capitalism, capitalist, theft, money laundering, market manipulation, manipulation, papers, paper, newspaper, father, fathers, son, sons, kid, kids
"Dad, can you read?"
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, boy, boys, son, sons, family, families, modern life, modern parenting, modern parenthood, technology, television, televisions, watching television, tv, tvs, watching tv, t.v., t.v.s, watching t.v., couch potato, couch potatoes, reading, reader, readers, book, books, novel, novels, literature, literacy, illiteracy, reading a book, reading books, question, questions, questioning, bad role model, bad role models, bad example
"We're really bonding now, aren't we, Dad?"
Tags:bond, bonds, family bond, family bonds, father-son activity, father-son activities, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, canoe, canoes, canoeing, rafting, raft, rafts, white water, whitewater, waterfall, waterfalls, rowboat, rowboats, rowing, bonding time, danger, dangers, dangerous, extreme sport, extreme sports
"Dad, if Mom ever has a boyfriend, I hope he's just like you."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, son, sons, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, boyfriend, boyfriends, infidelity, affair, affairs, extramarital affairs, cheater, cheaters, divorce, divorces, separation, split, compliment, compliments, complimenting, date, dates, dating, love
"We don't want you inviting friends over to play. There are liability issues."
Tags:friend, friends, friendship, friendships, invite friends over, invites friends over, inviting friends over, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, liability, liability issue, liability issues, insurance, lawyer, lawyers, rambunctious, rambunctiousness, brat, brats, spoiled, insurance liability, insurance liabilities, home insurance, excuse, excuses, parent, parents, parenting, child, kid, kids, sons, son
"Well, I guess we can leave the sign as it is."
Tags:family business, family businesses, family, son, sons, father, fathers, sibling, sliblings, brother, brothers, death, died, workplace accident, workplace accidents, accident, accidents, accidental death, sudden death, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor, gallows humour, gallows humor
"Hi, son. It's just us, Mom and Dad. Remember? The shadowy figures on the periphery of your life. We just stopped by to say good night."
Tags:mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, child, children, kid, kids, childhood, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, son, sons, empty nest, empty nester, empty nesters, overbearing
"I never thought I'd have to move back in with my parents."
Tags:cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, grave, graves, mausoleum, mausoleums, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, dead, death, died, passed away, parent, parents, moving in, moving in with the parents, move back in with parents, son, sons, child, children, kid, kids, adult child, adult kid, adult kids, adulthood, living with parents, desperate, desperation
"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."
Tags:mother, mothers, parent, parents, report card, report cards, grade, grades, bad grade, bad grades, grading, distance, distancing, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing, child, son, sons, offspring, pride, parent, parents, parenting, parental pride, divorce, divorces, expectation, expectations, high expectations
A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.
Tags:businessman, businessmen, salesman, salesmen, sales, profession, profession, resemblance, resemblances, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, child, children, offspring, family resemblance, maternity ward, maternity wards, hat, hats, briefcase, briefcases, similarity, similarity, salesperson, salespeople, career, careers
"I have the whole universe to look after, so I'm putting you in charge of this planet."
Tags:heaven, god, in charge, earth, stupid, whole universe, sons, idiots, planets, incompetents, incompetent, planet, universes, delegate, delegates, son, caretaker, caretakers, responsible, responsibility, irresponsible, son, house sit, house sits, house sitter, house sitters, earth, planet earth, dominion, nepotism
"I'm going back to my room, where the media is a little less mainstream."