Ten Plagues for Today's Seder
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"We're not friends-she just e-mails me things I'm not interested in."
"Has that one guy we've been sending all the spam to responded yet?"
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"We just need your e-mail address so we can e-mail you all day every day for the rest of your life."
Tags:store, stores, shop, shops, shopping, shopper, shoppers, retail, clerk, clerks, staff, cashier, cashiers, checking out, checkout, checkouts, paying, technology, computer, computers, marketing, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, ad, ads, email, emails, emailing, e-mail, e-mails, e-mailing, spam, spamming, email address, e-mail address, endless, forever, all day, every day, annoying, modern life
"I wish the king didn't send a raven for every random thought that enters his head."
Tags:raven, ravens, bird, birds, communication, communications, communicating, communicate, communicates, messenger bird, messenger birds, messenger raven, messenger ravens, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, random thought, random thoughts, thoughtful, musings, thinker, thinkers, musings, spam, spamming, spams, spammed, junk mail, pestering, annoying habit, annoying habits, social media, social network, social networks, donald trump, president trump, trump administration, trump presidency, white house
Berlitz guide to Scamese
Tags:language, languages, foreign language, foreign languages, language learning, translate, translation, translations, interpret, interpretation, interpretations, english, scamese, scam, con, trick, fraud, scam artist, scam artists, scammer, scammers, con men, spam, spammer, spammers, spam mail, spam e-mail, spam e-mails, span email, spam emails, junk, junk mail, junk email, junk emails, junk e-mail, junk e-mails, nigerian prince scam, nigerian prince scams, money, send money, 419 scam, 419 scams, internet crime, internet security, internet scam, crime, crimes, internet, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, modern life
"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."
Tags:general, generals, email blast, email blasts, spam, spams, junk mail, email marketing, email advertising, advertisement, advertisements, military strategy, military strategies, military tactic, military tactics, enemy fire, demoralising tactics, demoralising the enemy, demoralizing tactics, demoralizing the enemy
"You've got mail! Also, Time, CNN, HBO, ICQ, Warner Bros, Netscape, Sports Illustrated. . . . ."
A wise man on a mountain finds many flyers for a Chinese takeaway restaurant outside the entrance to his cave.
Tags:guru, gurus, wiseman, wisemen, wise man, wise men, sage, sages, food, restaurant, restaurants, takeaway, takeout, delivery, chinese food, chinese delivery, chinese takeaway, chinese takeout, ad, ads, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, marketing, spam, junk mail, mail, post, flyer, flyers
My Spam Sketchbook
"There is a Mr. Hayer at the front door with four hundred and twenty-seven legitimate ways to beat the system."
"I'm starting to think humans don't even like winning free cruises."
Tags:robot, robots, outsourcing, call centre, call centres, telephone, telephones, phones, phone, spam, internet spam, robocall, robocalls, telemarketing, telemarketer, telemarketers, free cruise, free cruises, winner, winning, win, prize, prizes, you win, cold calling, automated call, automated calling, modern life
"You have been pre-approved for the platinum experience with cashback rewards."
Tags:cashback, cashback reward, cashback rewards, cashbacks, pre-approved, pre-approval, cashback reward, cashback rewards, message in a bottle, junk mail, spam, spams, junk-mail, desert island, desert islands, deserted island, deserted islands, shipwreck, shipwrecks, shipwrecked, credit card, credit cards, credit-card, credit-cards
"Just go ahead and enter your email for us."
Tags:privacy law, privacy laws, privacy rule, privacy rules, privacy investigation, privacy investigations, marketing information, marketing info, e-privacy, e privacy, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, electronic mail, spam, spams, lemonade stall, lemonade stalls, lemonade stand, lemonade stands, marketing strategy, advertising strategy, advertising strategies, marketing strategies
Congratulations You Have Been Selected to Receive a Free Gift Card
Tags:spam, spamming, email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, spam email, scam, scams, internet scams, internet scam, email marketing, aggressive marketing, aggressive advertisement, aggressive advertising, clickbait, click-bait, click bait, internet, world wide web, www, digital marketing, digital advertising, digital advertisements, digital ads, gift card, gift cards, free gift, ufo, ufos, alien, aliens, flying disc, flying discs, chase, chased, follow, followed
"I told him not to click on it."
Tags:virus, viruses, computer virus, computer viruses, malware, malicious link, malicious links, spam, spam email, spam emails, spamming, computer, computers, internet, internet culture, virus protection, virus protection software, warn, warns, warning, warnings, cyber aware, cyber awareness, suck in, sucker, suckers, malicious software, software
"You are now unsubscribed. You will received a weekly email confirming your unsubscription."
Tags:spam, spam mail, spam email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, e mail, e mails, spammer, spammed, fish joke, sale, sales, salesmen, salesman, hard sell, unsolicited, telemarketer, telemarketing, telemarket, shell, seashell, seashells, sea shell, sea shells, conch, conches, magic conch, beach, beaches, beach combing, beach-combing, beach-comb, beach comb, seaside, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays
"I've been preapproved for another credit card apparently because I have a pulse."
Tags:desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, marooned, stranded, message in a bottle, messages in a bottle, junk mail, junk mail folder, junk mail folder, false hope, disappointment, disappointments, waste, mail, message, messages, messaging, modern life, cliche, cliches, spam, spam mail
It's 10pm. Is your money working for you?
Tags:tv, television, ad, ads, advertisement, advertisements, low budget, commercial, commercials, spam, investment, investments, bank, banks, banking, saving money, money, finance, finances, financial, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women
"I create spam for the internet."
God finds all the prayers of mankind in his spam folder.
"Not love. Targeted advertising."
Tags:cupid, cupids, eros, cherub, cherubim, angel, angels, arrow, arrows, bow, bows, bow and arrow, bow and arrows, shoot, shooting, archer, archers, archery, love, true love, fall in love, targeted ad, targeted ads, targeted advertising, targeted advertisement, ad, ads, advertise, advertisement, advertising, spam, junk mail, deal, sale, sales, marketing, ad agency, ad agencies, modern life, valentines, valentine's, valentine's day, valentines day, february 14, february 14th