Splits Up Cartoons

"I just wanted you to hear it from me first, before you read it in the sky."

"Mother was right about you. You're a toaster."

"What can I say? He makes me laugh."

"Who's going to finish your sentences?"

"I would have left a long time ago, but I could never find luggage I really liked."

"I'd like you to meet Nan and Leo, but I think you already know Nan from back when it was Nan and Ralph."

"Damn it, Maureen! You just don't break up a winning combination!"

"Negotiations are going to be tougher than I thought. Your wife is being backed by Syria."

"I think we should start making commitments to other people we can't keep."

"Cherish this moment, because clearly our parents are getting a divorce."

"On a personal note, my wife, Ann, and I have agreed to separate, as I've fallen in love with the sound of my own voice."

Night after night she stares at the lovely sea longing for her husband's departure.

"Only thing he can't crack is why his wife would just up and leave."

"I hope we can still be cousins."

"I loved it. Especially Mia Farrow's apartment."

"It's not you, Frank, it's me - I don't like you."

"I'm leaving to spend more time with my family."

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

"I've got to be honest, Maureen. I don't love you."

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

Divorce Sale

"But won't you at least stay long enough to insure a smooth transition to your successor?"

"You're a good husband, Dave - I just want to start marrying other people."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Steve - it's just you're the incumbent."

"It's not you—it's natural selection."