Spouses Cartoons

Fertility Clinic

"Did you do that to be hurtful?"

"I think I know where the passion in our marriage has gone."

"The Monday movie will be back after the messages that follow the following messages."

"You were wonderful at the Gardners' last night, Fred, when you turned on the charm."

"Of course mating is natural. It's just not the kind of thing you want to see your parents doing."

"Surprise! It's my birthday."

"But that's what being an artist is—feeling crummy before everyone else feels crummy."

"With a real live woman right here, why would you turn to the Internet for an argument?"

Mrs. Coffee

"Melanie, this is my husband, Greg, and Greg's jacket from a previous marriage."

"You're not going to put that there, are you?"

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

"This may be bliss for you, Felicia, but my pants are crawling with chiggers!"

"You see, Thomas, there's a bully at Daddy's office."

"We are so in synch. I was just about to ask you for a divorce."

"I filed for divorce on the grounds of mental exhaustion."

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"I should be more like Sharon Stone? You should be more like Sharon Stone!"

"This is perfect. I could stay like this for the next five seconds."

"How can you feel threatened by someone young enough to be your sullen, uncommunicative daughter?"

"I know what I said ten minutes ago. That was the old me talking."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

Battle of the Television

"I'm not listening to any radio program. I'm listening to my wife!"