Birthday cards, get-well cards, stop sending me cards.
"Oh, Christ—it's your mother."
Tags:mother, mothers, mothering, motherhood, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mother in law, mother in laws, mothers in law, overbearing, overbearing parent, overbearing parents, overbearing mother, overbearing mothers, mollycoddle, mollycoddled, mollycoddling, strict, strict parent, strict parents, strict mother, strict mothers, strict parenting, intrude, intrusive, boosy, bossy boots, stalking, stalker, controlling, controlling mother, controlling mothers, over controlling, harassed, harassment, harasser, flying the nest, domineering, domineer, domineering mother, domineering mothers, domineering parent, domineering parents, car, cars, drive, driving, driver, holiday, holidays, vacation, vacations, on holiday, on vacations, road trip, roadtrip, road-trip, abroad, holiday abroad
Tags:atm, automated teller machine, robot, robots, robotics, robotics engineer, robotics engineers, robotics engineering, engineer, engineers, bank, banks, banker, bankers, teller, tellers, cashpoint, cashpoints, atms, automated teller machines, cash machine, cash machines, stalker, follower, followers, night, night time, creepy, creep, money, scam, technology
"What sort of flowers say, 'I promise to obey the restraining order'?"
Tags:stalker, stalk, stalks, stalking, restraining order, restraining orders, harassment, harassments, harassing, flower, flowers, inappropriate, inappropriate behaviour, inappropriate behavior, florist, florists, pest, ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends
"Hey, honey! I thought of something else you can put on your restraining order."
"She's gotten really arrogant now that she has a stalker."
Tags:stalker, stalk, stalks, stalking, stalked, harassment, harassing, harassed, harass, arrogance, arrogant, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, egotism, self esteem, self-esteem, self-confidence, self confidence, self-confident, self confident, ego boost, ego boosts, ego-boost, ego-boosts, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity culture
"I don't just stop being your co-pilot when the plane lands, Roger."
Tags:co-pilot, co-pilots, pilot, pilots, love triangle, love triangles, coworker, coworkers, marriage, married, married couple, couple, couples, trio, obsession, obsessed, stalker, break in, bed, bedroom, bedtime, night, night time, nightmare, nightmares, night terror, night terrors, partner, partners, career, careers, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes
"I'm not stalking you. I'm binge-watching you."
Tags:stalk, stalker, stalking, creep, creepy, creeper, creepers, following, mall, shopping mall, malls, shopping malls, shopping, shopping center, shopping centre, harassment, harassing, binge-watching, movie marathon, tv marathon, binge-viewing, marathon viewing, couch potato, couch potatoes, unwanted attention, unwelcome attention, obsessive, obsessed, obsessive behavior, obsessive behaviour
"You're not paying very much attention to the restraining order."
"I want to report a stalker."
Tags:stalker, stalking, stalk, stalks, stalked, hunter, hunters, hunter, hunters, bloodsport, bloodsports, blood sport, blood sports, blood-sport, blood-sports, deer, venison, buck, bucks, ranger station, ranger stations, ranger, rangers, woods, forest, forests, harassment, harassed, restraining order, restraining orders
". . . And this is my stalker, Kevin."
"Row faster, Manny- I just spotted my ex."
At lunch with my unauthorized biographer.
Tags:biography, biographies, unauthorized biography, unauthorized biographies, unauthorised biography, unauthorised biographies, biographer, biographers, computer, computers, computing, stalk, stalks, stalking, stalker, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity biography, celebrity biographies, lunch, lunches, lunching, public eye, public life, public lives, hide, hides, hiding, writer, writers, author, authors, journalist, journalists, journalism
"I've changed the locks and taken out a restraining order, so no, I won't be your valentine."
Tags:valentine, valentines, valentines day, break up, break ups, broken up, split up, separate, separation, dating, dates, date, ex, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, relationships, relationship, restraining order, restraining orders, stalker, harassment, harassing, obsessed, obsession, persistent, block, blocked
"I've been stalking actors, but eventually I'd like to stalk a director."
Someone is Out There Watching.
Tags:college, university, university life, universities, colleges, watching, watches, attached, helicopter parent, helicopter parents, parents, parent, parenting, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, horror, horrors, parody, parodies, overbearing, overbears, overwhelming, checking, check, check up, checking up, stalk, stalking, stalks, stalker, stalked, education, educational
"And another thing. I don't want you visiting my Web site."
Tags:website, websites, blog, blogs, blogger, bloggers, vlog, vlogs, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, social media, stalking, stalker, internet stalker, cyberstalking, cyberstalker, cyberstalkers, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, divorce, divorces
"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."
". . . Remember your old boyfriend from Pennsylvania?"
Tags:amish, amish community, amish communities, word play, wordplay, word-play, word game, word-game, word-games, word games, ex-boyfriends, ex boyfriend, ex boyfriends, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex girlfriend, ex girlfriends, stalker, stalking, stalk, stalked, harassment, restraining order, restraining orders
Too Little, Too Late
Tags:date, dating, dates, relationship, relationships, bad date, bad dates, creep, creepy, compliment, compliments, complimenting, inadequate, inadequacy, idiom, idioms, missed opportunity, missed opportunities, stalker, stalking, regret, regrets, lost opportunity, lost opportunities, missing your chance, window of opportunity, flirtation, flirtations, flirt, flirts, social skills, social awkwardness, socially awkward
Ready to move when the other guy blinks.
Tags:blink, blinking, competition, competitor, competitors, compete, competing, party game, party games, modern life, modern times, the rat race, rat race, cutthroat, business man, business men, business person, business people, businessman, businessmen, businessperson, creep up, creeping up, stalk, stalking, stalker
"Apparently, in this kingdom, there's no room for a 'royal watcher'."
Tags:royalty, royals, shackles, ball and chain, stalking, stalker, paparazzi, photographer, photographers, watching, people watching, people watcher, people watchers, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, crimes, criminal, criminals, inmate, inmates, cellmate, cellmates, locked up, locked away
"Is there a better number I can stalk you on?"