"Thank you. You've been a great audience."
"But seriously, folks..."
Plato The Standup
Tags:plato, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy, standup, stand-up, stand up, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedian, comedians, tough crowd, tough crowds, bad audience, bad audience, bore, boring, boredom, unfunny, insult, insulting, insulted, insults, ancient greece, classical greece, greek philosopher, greek philosophers
"You're right- things are funnier in threes."
Tags:rule of three, the rule of three, walking the plank, pirate, pirates, execution, executions, pirate ship, pirate ships, pirate captain, pirate captains, comedy, comedian, comedians, writing principle, writing principles, punchline, punchlines, standup, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedy writing, comedy writer, comedy writers
Other things trees do in the forest when nobody's there to hear:
Tags:tree falls in the forest, tree falling in the forest, standup, standups, standup comedy, rhetorical question, rhetorical questions, philosophy, philosophical question, philosophical questions, poetry recitation, poetry recitations, scatting, talent, talents, talent show, talent shows, talent contest, talent contests, sound, sounds
"Whew! Tough crowd."
Tags:heckler, hecklers, fish, fishes, comic, comics, comedian, comedians, comedy act, comedy acts, standup, standups, stand-up, stand-ups, stand up, stand ups, christian symbol, christian symbols, heckling, tough crowd, tough crowds, audience, audiences, comedy club, comedy clubs, sense of humour, sense of humor
"She's come a long way, and I know you'll receive her act in the spirit in which it's intended. Yes, folks, it's Mimus Polyglottos, the Texas Mockingbird!"
Tags:mockingbird, mockingbirds, comedy, comedies, comic, comics, comedian, comedians, comedy act, comedy acts, standup, standups, standup act, standup acts, stand-up act, stand-up acts, bird, birds, standup comedian, standup comedians, stand-up comedian, stand-up comedians, stand-up comic, stand-up comics, migration, migrations, migrating pattern, migrating patterns, wildlife
"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, coming home, returning home, day at the office, business, businessman, businessmen, audience, microphone, microphones, stage, stages, standup, stand-up, stand up, comedy, routine, routines, comedian, comedians, comic, comics, entertainer, entertainers, entertainment, captive audience, daily life, man, men
"I don't sing. I do standup."
Tags:travel, traveller, travellers, travellering, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourist, tourists, tourism, venice, venetian, gondola, gondolas, boat, boats, gondolier, gondoliers, vacation, vacations, trip, trips, holiday, holidays, entertainment, sing, singing, singer, singers, music, musician, musicians, stand-up, standup, comedy, comedian, comedians, comic, comics, entertainer, entertainers
"But, seriously folks…."
Tags:comic, comics, standup, standups, stand-up, stand-ups, comedian, comedians, comedy night, comedy nights, bomb, bombs, bombing, fail, fails, failing, failure, failures, tough crowd, tough crowds, audience, audiences, tough audience, tough audiences, but seriously folks, bored, unamused, amusement, amusing, laugh, laughs, laughing, laughter, funny man, funny person, funny people, funny men
"I don't even know when late night begins anymore."
Tags:tv, television, television shows, television shows, broadcasting, broadcaster, broadcasters, tv broadcaster, tv broadcasters, tv broadcasting, program, programming, programme, programing, late night, late night tv, late night televsion, watershed, the watershed, owl, owls, bird, birds, strigiformes, late-night tv, late-night television, talk show, talk shows, late night talk show, late night talk shows, late-night talk shows, standup, satnd-up, stand up comedy, stand-up comedy, stand up comedian, stand-up comedians, stand-up comedians, stand up comedians, inappropriate tv, inappropriate television, adult television, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood
"Can you folks in the back hear me?"
Tags:stand up, standup, stand up comedy, comedian, comedians, empty room, empty rooms, gig, gigs, bad gig, bad gigs, ignore, ignores, ignoring, hellish, uninterested, hear, hears, hearing, audio level, audio levels, soundcheck, soundchecks, sound check, sound checks, performer, performers, performance, performances, performing
Standup comic doing pro-bono work in isolated rural area
Tags:standup, standup comic, standup comics, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedian, comedian, pro-bono, pro-bono work, working for free, for a good cause, rural, country, countryside, city vs county, isolated rural community, isolated rural communities, isolated rural area, isolated rural areas, comedy, farmer, farmers, farming, tough crowd, bad gig, bad gigs
"Wow, great crowd tonight! Thanks for coming out! Hey, has this ever happened to you? Yesterday I was just doing my thing, minding my own business, and suddenly the peasants got unruly."
"Tough crowd... I suggest you try the hyena club."
"Wow. Tough cloud."
"Thanks! I'll be here all night."
Tags:husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, married couples, comic, comics, comedy, comedies, comedian, comedians, comedy act, comedy acts, comedy show, comedy shows, standup, stand up, stand ups, standups, stand-up, stand-ups, performer, performers, performance, performances, spotlight, spotlights
"I punched way, way too far up."
Tags:standup, standup comedy, standup comedian, standup comedians, comedy, comedian, comedians, too soon, crass joke, crass jokes, crass humour, crass humor, dark humor, dark humour, covid-19, corona, coronavirus, novel coronavirus, corona virus, novel corona virus, pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, disease, diseases, illness, sickness, virus, viruses, self-isolation, social distancing, quarantine, quarantines, quarantined, lockdown, lockdowns
Tags:comedian, comedians, comic, comics, comedy act, comedy acts, comedy show, comedy shows, radiation, comic radiation, big bang, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, breaking up, astronomer, astronomers, astrophysics, astrophysicist, astrophysicists, standup, standups, stand up, stand ups, stand-up, stand-ups