"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
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shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
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shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed"I was spreading some risk around, and apparently it all wound up in your portfolio."
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financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial advice, portfolio, portfolios, investor, investors, investment, investments, risk, risks, risk taker, risk takers, risky investment, risky investments, stockbroker, stockbrokers, money problem, money troubles, financial problems, financial troubles"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."
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recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommends, stock, stocks, stock market, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock broker, stock brokers, broker, brokers, portfolio, portfolios, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing, investment advice, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advice, accountant, accounting, accounting firm, accounting firms"Dow Jonesy enough for you?"
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dow jones, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, broker, brokers, investor, investors, investment, investments, rollercoaster, rollercoasters, roller-coaster, roller-coasters, fairground ride, fairground rides, amusement park, amusement parks, roller coaster ride, rollercoaster rides"What should you do? Here's what you should do: invent a time machine, go back sixteen months, and convert everything to cash."
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economic crash, economic crashes, market crash, market crashes, time machine, time machines, financial advisor, financial advice, financial adviser, money manager, money managers, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, bond, bonds, savings, savings account, 401k, 401ks, 401(k), pension, pensions, bear market, bear markets, great recession, recession, recessions"Yes, I'm still getting up early, but these days it's to check on the spot markets for oil and natural gas."
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investment, investments, early bird, early birds, get up, gets up, getting up, oil, natural gas, market, markets, stock, stocks, stocks and bonds, early riser, early risers, investor, investors, investment, investments, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, spot markets, cash market, cash markets, commodity trader, commodity traders, commodity trading, commodity trading advisor, commodity trading advisors"It's the S.E.C. How do you plead?"
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receptionists, business, law, securities, securities and exchange commission, s.e.c., corruption, corrupt, white collar crime, white collar criminal, white collar criminals, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stocks and bonds, watchdog, watchdogs, regulator, regulators, regulation, regulations, mankoff"I don't know how the gods feel, but sacrificing financial advisors makes me feel happy."
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sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, god, gods, human sacrifices, human sacrificing, volcano, volcanoes, crook, crooks, hated, hatred, hatreds, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, money manager, money managers, pariah, pariahs, social outcast, social outcasts, unpopular, unpopularityProud parent of a partner at Barnow, Littman, McKenna & Huyck.
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bumpersticker, bumperstickers, bumper sticker, bumper stickers, partner, partners, law office, law offices, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, financial success, brag, brags, bragging, braggart, braggarts, parent, parents, proud parent, proud parents, student of the month, scholar, scholars, stock market, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock broker, stock brokers, success, successful, boast, boasts, boasting, offspring"Looks like broker-assisted suicide."
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stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, financial adviser, financial advisers, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial, financials, finance, finances, bankrupt, bankruptcy, bankruptcies, bankrupted, assisted suicide, assisted suicides, depression, depressions, depressed, portfolio, portfolios"On Wall Street today, the stock market corrected its previous correction, and is pretty sure it's got it right this time."
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stock market, tv, news, correction, wall street, recession, financial crisis, economy, mistakes, market correction, market corrections, recessions, euphemisms, crash, crashes, crashing, financial news, financial reporter, financial reporters, dow jones, djia, wall street, wall street trader, wall street traders, stockbroker, stockbrokers, mankoff"Oh, I'm really sorry. I just placed three million with some broker who called five minutes ago."
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cold call, cold calls, cold calling, cold caller, cold callers, telemarketer, telemarketers, telemarketing, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, sarcasm, sarcastic, harass, harasses, harassment, rich, riches, poor, poor person, poor people, poverty, middle class, working class, investment, investments, investing, investor, investors"Millions is craft. Billions is art."
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wealth, wealthy, money, well-off, affluent, rich, riches, finances, millions, billions, millionaire, millionaires, billionaire, billionaires, the one percent, the 1%, investor, investors, investing, investment, investments, banker, bankers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, chief executive officer, chief executive officers, ceo, ceos, c.e.o., c.e.o.s, executive, executives, exec, execs, profit, profits, art, craft, crafts, making money"This stock market situation - what are the military options?"
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stock market, stock markets, stock exchange, stock exchanges, stock broker, stock brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, military option, military options, general, generals, recession, recessions, economic downturn, economic downturns, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers"I'm a Schedule D kind of guy with a little Schedule E thrown in."
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schedule d, schedule e, accountant, accountants, accounting, 1040, 1040 form, 1040 forms, investor, investors, asset, assets, broke, lose money, loses money, losing money, investment, investments, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, tax return, tax returns, penniless, loss, losses, financial loss, financial losses, hedge fund, hedge funds, hedge fund manager, hedge fund managers, tax season, taxes, filing taxes, personality type, personality types, date, dates, dinner date, dinner dates, insolvent, insolvency"I don't want stock options. I want you to pay your tab."
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stock option, stock options, tab, tabs, bar bill, bar bills, bar tab, bar tabs, barmen, barman, landlord, landlords, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, stock broker, stock brokers, broker, brokers, investor, investors, debt, debtsWall Street bull
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wall street, bull market, bull markets, stock market, stock markets, bull, meat, executives, cow, hunger, eating, chuck, rib, short loin, sirloin, round, flank, plate, shank, brisket, meat cut, meat cuts, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"
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broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, cell, cells, cellmate, cellmates, white collar crime, white collar crimes, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, stock broker, stock brokers, financial crime, financial crimes, investor, investors, investment, investments, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, broker, brokers"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."
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wall street, banker, bankers, banking, broker, brokers, stock, stocks, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trader, traders, market trader, market traders, elite, elites, elitist, elitism, make money, making money, capitalist, capitalism, bottom line, sleaze, sleazy, sleazebag, craftsman, artisan, artisans, local business, local businesses, new york, new york city, cocktail party, cocktail parties"Markets reacted to the news by edging aside kind of awkwardly and then pretending to take a phone call."
"Of course he looks peaceful - he's lived his entire life in a bull market."
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investor, investors, investment, investments, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, bull market, bull markets, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, peaceful, financial advice, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, stock, stocksStockopolis.
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stock market, stock markets, investor, investors, capitalist, capitalism, investing, invests, wall street, stock broker, stock brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, new york, new york city, rich, money, making money, critique, critical, fat cats, boom, booms, bull market, trader, traders, trading, trades, frenzy, frenzied"Do you swear to calm the jittery financial markets, all the jittery financial markets and nothing but the jittery financial markets, so help you God?"
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financial market, financial markets, jittery market, jittery markets, market confidence, investor confidence, stock market, stock markets, federal reserve, chairman, inauguration, inauguration oath, stockbroker, stockbrokers, stock, stocks, investor, investors, market stability, financial news, business news, financial market, financial markets, jitter, jitters, nervous, nerves, calming influence, calming influences