Stories Cartoons

"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."

"Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling."

Rapunzel in the Morning

Story Template

"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."

"All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my own penis."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"The Emperor's Nouvelle Cuisine"

"Once upon a time, there was a frozen pizza, and inside the pizza some very bad monsters lived. Their names were refined white flour, reconstituted tomato, and processed cheese. But the worst monster of all was called pepperoni!"

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

"I want to make my mark on the world—and have it disappear in ten seconds."

"Could you read the part where Stephen envisions life outside Dublin again?"

Rapunzel's Short-Lived Relationship With Icarus

"What have you been up to?"

"So it's a case of he said, she said, it said."

"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."

"And what's the story behind the story?"

Hare reading a book while the tortoise races past

"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."

"Enough about me, but nothing about you just yet."

"The axe is falling! The axe is falling!"

"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."

"She wears glass slippers? This kind of aggravation I don't need."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."