"I wish you would make up your mind, Mr. Dickens. Was it the best of times or was it the worst of times? It could scarcely have been both."
Tags:dickens, charles dickens, tale of two cities, a tale of two cities, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the best of times it was the worst of times, literature, novel, book, books, writer, writing, story, stories, newspaper, newspapers, editor, editors, writers, contradiction, contradictions, oxymoron, oxymorons, victorian, victorians, victorian era
"Dumbledore smiled, his eyes twinkling."
Tags:bedtime story, bedtime stories, bedtime reading, bedtime, sleep, going to sleep, sleeping, childrens book, childrens books, childrens literature, kids books, childish, role reversal, reversal of roles, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, reading aloud, reading, read, story, stories, child, children, nostalgia, absurd, weird bedtime routine, weird bedtimes, weird, absurd bedtime story
Rapunzel in the Morning
Tags:fashion, fashions, fashionable, women, woman, girl, girls, visual gag, visual gags, fairy tale, fairy, tale, fairy tales, fairy story, story, stories, children's story, children's books, kid, kids, child, children, hair, haircare, bad hair, bad hair day, hairday, hair day, hair care, hair-care, bedhead, bed head, bed-head, frizz, frizzy
"When I was a boy, I had to walk five miles through the snow to change the channel."
Tags:remote, remote control, remote controls, tall tale, tall tales, dad, dads, father, fathers, parent, parents, war story, war stories, story, stories, grow up, grows up, growing up, tv, tvs, tv remote, tv remotes, when i was a boy, cliche, cliches, walk, walks, walking, get up, getting up, smart device, smart devices, generation gap, generation gaps
"All this talk of Viagra and penile implants reminds me of a charming story about my own penis."
"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."
Tags:deadbeat dad, deadbeat dads, lazy, bedtime, bedtime story, story, stories, father, fathers, dad, dads, fatherhood, fathering, kid, kids, child, children, childhood, family, families, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, sassy, deadbeat, deadbeats, bedtime ritual, bedtime rituals, family life, family-life
"The Emperor's Nouvelle Cuisine"
Tags:fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories, story, stories, literature, children's literature character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, the emperor's new clothes, hans christian andersen, emperor, emperors, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, food, plate, plates, dish, dishes, empty, invisible, new, cuisine, word play, wordplay
"Once upon a time, there was a frozen pizza, and inside the pizza some very bad monsters lived. Their names were refined white flour, reconstituted tomato, and processed cheese. But the worst monster of all was called pepperoni!"
Tags:pizza, pizzas, health food, healthy foods, healthy eating, processed food, processed foods, pepperoni, processed meat, processed meats, refined flour, processed cheese, health-conscious, health-consciousness, teacher, teachers, teaching, story, stories, story time, foods to avoid, indoctrinate, indoctrinates, indoctrination, liberal, liberals
How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk
Tags:wildlife, animal, animals, cosmetic, cosmetic surgery, surgery, nose job, nose, noses, plastic surgery, cosmetically, cosmetics, surgery, surgeon, surreal, horrifying, strange, imagery, strange imagery, elephant, elephants, trunk, trunks, kid, kids, story, stories, croc, crocodile, crocodiles, face, faces, rhinoplasty, doctor, doctors, modern, modern life, modern world, beautiful, standards, standard
"I want to make my mark on the world—and have it disappear in ten seconds."
Tags:make a mark in the world, accomplishment, accomplishments, mark, marks, make a mark, making a mark, legacy, legacies, disappear, disappearing, fast, quickly, rapidly, ten seconds, story, stories, temporary, fleeting, social media, social network, social networks, social networking, newsfeed, newsfeeds, news feed, news feeds, modern life, technology, viral, going viral, internet, online, internet famous, fleeting fame, 15 seconds of fame, influencer, influencers, picture, pictures, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, photography, apps, app, application, applications, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, millennial, millennials, youth
"Could you read the part where Stephen envisions life outside Dublin again?"
Tags:ulysses, dublin, dubliners, james joyce, joyce, modernism, modernist, modern, literature, modern literature, lit, modern lit, college, college, irish lit, ireland, irish, lit major, lit minor, books, bookish, book, writer, writers, writing, story, storytime, story time, stories, storybook, story book, unorthodox, genius, geniuses, prodigy, prodigies, prodigal, novel, novels, complicated, complex, difficult, difficulties, stephen, stephen dedalus, dedalus, portrait, portrait of the artist as a young man, kids, kid, child, children, precocious, parent, parenting, dad, dads, father, fathers
"Someone's been hacking into my computer, too, and now I'm a lifetime member of Hot Wet Coeds."
Tags:goldilocks, fictional, fictional characters, fictional character, children, childrens stories, story, technology, tech, computer, computer hack, hacker, hackers, adult content website, websites, three bears, bear, bears, badly behaved, bad behavior, bad behaviour, subscription, subscribe, subscribers, subscriber, computer, computers, search history, password, passwords, password protection, password protected, fairy tale, fairytale
Rapunzel's Short-Lived Relationship With Icarus
"What have you been up to?"
Tags:tall tale, tall tales, long story, long stories, tale, tales, story, stories, come home late, coming home late, wife, wives, scold, scolds, scolding, nag, nags, nagging, return home, returning home, suspicious, suspicion, suspicions, police line, police lines, husband, husbands, late night, late nights, late, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality
"So it's a case of he said, she said, it said."
Tags:garden of eden, genesis, book of genesis, he said she said, he said, she said, story, stories, serpent, serpents, tree of knowledge, forbidden fruit, forbidden fruits, rashomon effect, lie, lies, liar, liars, self-serving, blame, blames, blaming, shift blame, shifts blame, shifting blame, point fingers, pointing fingers, finger-pointing, god, broken law, broken laws, bible story, bible stories, creation story, creation stories
"An interesting selection, Dad, yet essentially a failure-as you can see, I'm still awake."
"And what's the story behind the story?"
Tags:story, stories, book, books, novel, novels, story behind the story, bedtime, bedtime story, bedtime-story, media, news, newspaper, journalist, context, journalism, precocious, precociously, cliche, cliches, family, families, parents, parent, mum, dad, mom, dad, mums, dads, bed-time, literature, literary, children, child, kids, kid, story behind the story, the story behind the story
Hare reading a book while the tortoise races past
Tags:aesop, aesop's fables, fable, fables, tortoise and the hare, tortoise, tortoises, turtle, turtles, hare, hares, rabbit, rabbits, bunny, bunnies, book, books, story, stories, character, characters, rest, resting, tree, trees, race, races, racing, read, reading, sport, sports, run, running, runner, runners, writer, writers, author, authors, literature, word play, wordplay, book title, book titles, appropriate book title, appropriate book titles, title, titles, animal, animals
"Stop asking so many questions, or it's right back to Books on Tape for you."
"The axe is falling! The axe is falling!"
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, personnel, hr, h.r., human resources, firing, lay offs, laying off, unemployment, termination, downsizing, cut backs, warning, warnings, panic, panicking, henny penny, chicken little, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, children's story, children's stories, story, stories, fable, fables, literature, children's literature character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, the sky is falling, axes, axes, getting the axe, waiting for the axe to fall, expression, expressions, word play, wordplay
"I think I can get you off with a lighter sentence, but it might screw up your movie deal."
Tags:law, lawyers, lawyers, prison, prisoner, prisoners, prisons, convict, convicts, sentence, sentences, movie, movies, deal, deals, artistic, law, laws, attorney, attorneys, entertainment, film, films, business, businesses, selling, story, stories, documentary, documentaries, defense attorney, agent, agents, agency
"She wears glass slippers? This kind of aggravation I don't need."
Tags:glass slipper, glass slippers, cinderella, the little glass slipper, folktale, folk tale, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairytale, fairytales, prince, princes, royal, royals, relationship, relationships, realistic, aggravating, aggravates, aggravated, royalty, story, stories, lit, glass shoe, glass shoes, true love, love
"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, laws, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, jury, juries, foreman, foremen, prosecution, prosecutor, prosecutors, spin, bias, emphasis, story, stories, version, versions, perspective, perspectives, verdict, verdicts, defendant, defendants, defense, defence, guilt, guilty