"How come I never see that smile?"
Tags:irony, ironic, couple, couples, artist, artists, art, self portrait, portrait, portraits, self-portrait, portraiture, paint, painter, painting, paints, smile, smiling, why do you think, stupid question, ask a stupid question, couples, couple, married life, marriage, fishwife, fish wife, miser, misers, misery, cranky, grumpy, reality, fantasy, expectation, realities, unhappy, unhappy marriage, nag, nagging
"So, where do you see yourself in five thousand years?"
Tags:shinx, the sphinx, ancient egypt, ancient egyptians, pyramids of giza, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, job application, job applications, interviewer, interviewers, interview question, interview questions, cliche, cliches, great sphinx of giza, stupid question, stupid questions, monument, monuments, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists
"Well, if I haven't captured the real you, kindly tell me who I have captured."
Tags:irony, ironic, couple, couples, artist, artists, art, arts, self portrait, portrait, portraits, self-portrait, portraiture, paint, painter, painting, paints, smile, smiling, why do you think, stupid question, ask a stupid question, couples, couple, married life, marriage, fishwife, fish wife, miser, misers, misery, cranky, grumpy, reality, fantasy, expectation, realities, unhappy, unhappy marriage, nag, nagging, canvas, interpretation, artistic flair, artistic license, license, license
"Have you been waiting long?"
Tags:queue, queues, queuing, long queue, long queues, monotony, monotonous, waiting in line, wait in line, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, bored, boring, boredom, line, lines, lined up, lining up, customer service, bad service, bad customer service, oblivious, obliviousness, stupid question, stupid questions, bad question, bad questions
"Timmy Whitehead of Wheeling, West Virginia, asks, 'Do you ever have to go to the bathroom?'"
Tags:angel, angels, god, gods, creator, creators, creation myth, creation myths, theologian, theologians, theology, bathroom, bathrooms, bathroom break, bathroom breaks, toilet break, toilet breaks, kid, kids, q&a, q & a, question and answer session, divine being, divine beings, divinity, inane question, inane questions, stupid question, stupid questions
"No, it's not going to be O.K."
"You want to be cremated, Victor? When?"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, dark humor, dark humour, black humour, black humor, die, died, dead, death, dying, cremated, cremation, stupid question, dumb question, stupid questions, dumb questions, date, dates
"Are you sure these are regulation? It's for a lieutenant stationed at 90 Church Street."
Tags:military supplies, military surplus, army, armies, military, war, wars, military grade, deployment, deployments, stint, stints, stationed, regulation, regulations, tribeca, new york city, new york, lieutenant, rank, ranking, ranks, tour of duty, tours of duty, stationed overseas, chair, chairs, chair cushion, chair cushions, salesperson, salespeople, sales clerk, sales clerks, shop, shops, store, stores, shopping, retail, stupid question, stupid questions, customer is always right, stickler, sticklers, world war ii, second world war
"This is a holdup - you got a problem with that?"
"No, writing my book wasn't anything like giving birth. Why would you say such a stupid thing?"
"What gear are we in, biscuit?"
"Does it hurt when I do this?"
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, examination, examinations, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, knife, knives, stab, stabbing, sword, swords, hurt, pain, painful, injury, injuries, stomach, abdomen, wound, wounds, stupid question, stupid questions, dumb question, dumb questions
"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"
Tags:allergies, allergic, food allergy, allergy, allergen, eating, eaten, eat, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, salad, salads, fine dining, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, wait staff, penicillin, penicillin allergy, eating out with allergies, obvious, obviously, stupid question, ask a stupid question, service, service industry, cater, catered, catering, food service, food industry, customer, customers, customer's always right, customers always right
"Does my body make me look fat?"
"I have a food question."
Tags:restaurant, waiter, waiters, wait staff, waiting staff, customer service, menu, menus, question, questions, asking questions, eating out, dining out, pretentious, pretension, pretentiousness, stupid question, stupid questions, obvious question, arrogant, arrogance, oblivious, obliviousness, bad customer, bad customers
"So, how many brands of birds do they make?"
Tags:birdwatcher, birdwatchers, birdwatching, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, consumerism, consumer, consumers, generation z, gen z, gen-z, young person, stupid, stupidity, stupid question, stupid questions, capitalism, capitalist, capitalists, brand, brands, shopping, shopper, shoppers
"May I quote you?"
Tags:moses, the 10 commandments, the ten commandments, ten commandments, 10 commandments, journalist, journalists, journalism, quote, quotes, quoting, taking quotes, off the record, on the record, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, god, the voice of god, voice of god, stupid question, stupid questions, interview, interviews, interviewer, interviews, mount sinai, exodus, book of exodus, old testament
"How's the squid?"
Tags:eating out, restaurant, restaurants, salad, fine dining, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, wait staff, service, service industry, cater, catered, catering, food service, food industry, customer, customers, customer's always right, customers always right, squid, squid ink, ink, splatter, mess, messy, messy food, stupid question, stupid, stupid questions, dangerous, danger, messy eater
"No, Rick, I'm not hiding. Guess again."
Tags:rock, rocks, boulder, boulders, trap, trapped, traps, crush, crushed, crushes, under, underneath, friend, friends, bystander, by stander, by-stander, watch, onlooker, on-looker, help, unhelpful, hide, hiding, hide and seek, silly question, stupid question, question, ask a stupid question get a stupid answer, visual gag, sight gag, visual joke, sight joke
"How old is a Major?"
Tags:major, majors, military rank, military ranks, officer, officers, age, age gap, age gaps, dating, date, dates, stupid question, stupid questions, silly question, silly questions, dumb blonde, dumb blondes, steroetypes, stereotypes, gender stereotype, gender stererotypes, naive, ingenue, 1940s high society, 1940s, vintage, vintage cartoon, vintage cartoons
"Do you have any history of your hair being on fire?"
"Can you please identify which hand was mistakenly amputated."