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"Thank you for letting us consider the enclosed manuscript. Although it has obvious merit, we are sorry to say that it does not suit our present needs."
"Here it is - my novel. I'll be interested to hear your compliments."
"Congratulations! Your manuscript was the one-millionth personal memoir submitted to us this year."
"Did you send your editor the final pages of 'Organizing Your Life'?"
"And if you'd like your artwork displayed please include a brief bio."
"What we have here is technically impressive, Jason, but regrettably lacking in passion."
"Each of my previous books had nine editions."
"This is shit. We're going to publish it."