"Wait a minute. We're lemurs! Lemurs!"
Tags:lemur, lemurs, primate, primates, primatologist, primatologists, primatology, lemming, lemmings, misunderstanding, misunderstandings, misunderstood, accident, accidents, suicidal, regret, regrets, regretting, warning, warnings, warn, warns, madagascar, soundalike, soundalikes, fatal mistake, fatal mistakes, mistake, mistakes, mistaken, identity crisis
"What I'll miss most is his indefatigable optimism."
Tags:optimist, optimists, optimism, incinerate, incinerates, incinerating, incineration, immolation, self-immolation, suicidal, monk, monks, pessimist, pessimists, pessimism, glass half full, glass half empty, outlook, outlooks, positive outlook, positive outlooks, cheerful, cheerfulness, cheer, good cheer, burn, burns, burning, reminisce, reminisces, reminiscing
A man hangs himself in the voting booth.
Tags:vote, votes, voting day, voting days, voting booth, voting booths, choice, choices, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, hang, hangs, hanging, suicidal, difficult choice, difficult choice, option, options, bad option, bad options, candidate, candidates, politician, politicians, democracy, democracies, democratic system, democratic traditions, least worst option, least worst options, lesser of two evils, two evils, compromise, compromises, compromising, compromise candidate, compromise candidates
"It's your real-estate agent. She says she may have found you a higher ledge."
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, gallows humor, gallows, gallows humour, black humor, black humour, jump, jumping, ledge, jump off, ledges, real-estate, real estate, apartment, apartments, sales, sales pitch, hard sell, bad timing, timing, talk down, suicidal, ledge, ledges, location, locations, leap, leaps, leaping
"Nope. Looks to me like a clear-cut case of suicide by somehow reaching around behind the back and sticking a knife in backward. Let's get a drink."
Tags:detective, detectives, police, crime, crimes, police officer, police officers, officer, officers, stab, criminal, stabbing, stabs, stabbed, kill, killed, killing, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, murderous, investigation, investigating, investigate, investigation, investigates, scene, crime scene, crime scenes, lazy, conclusion, unlikely, conclusions, laziness, work, working, bored, suicidal, incompetence, incompetent, cover up, coverup, cover-up, cover ups
"I'm sorry. Mr. Broadbank seems to have stepped away from his desk."
Tags:financial crisis, market crash, market crashes, crash, crashes, great recession, recession, recessions, secretary, secretaries, unflappable, placid, calm, demeanor, demeanors, demeanour, suicidal, executive, executives, business executive, banker, bankers, banking, housing crash, housing crashes, market correction, market corrections, finances, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers
"I'm only going to the party because the suicide attempt failed."
"Oh dear Lord no! There had to have been another way!"
"As you know, Russian roulette is not a game to be taken lightly."
The Lemmings of Montauk
Tags:lemming, lemmings, rodent, rodents, animal, animals, hamster, hamsters, gerbil, gerbils, suicidal, cliff, cliffs, lighthouse, lighthouses, ocean, oceans, new york, long island, montauk, car, cars, diving, die, died, dying, dead, death, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, traffic, fleet, fleets, group suicide, suicide pact
Suicide by Domino
"Damn it, Franklin - when will you learn to delegate."
Tags:exec, execs, executive, executives, suicidal, death wish, death wishes, delegate, delegates, delegating, delegation, delegations, overworked, overwork, overworking, overworks, office job, office jobs, office worker, boss, bosses, stress, stressed, stressed out, stressfulness, corporate ladder, work-life balance, life-work balance, management, managements, manager, managers, leadership skill, leadership skills
A pigeon is about to jump off a roof.
"Excuse me—does this joke need a lawyer?"
Tags:joke, jokes, punchline, punch line, punch-line, cliche, cliches, stereotype, stereotype, classic, classic, standard, standard, joke theory, comedy theory, comedy, comedic value, jumper, jumped, jump, don't jump, high rise, high-rise, skyscraper, suicidal, great depression, servicemen, serviceman, service man, service men, diverse, diversity, priest, priests, pastor, pastors, clergy, clergyman, clergymen, police man, police officer, police, officer, cop, cops, fireman, firemen, fire fighter, fire fighters, lawyer, lawyers
Tags:lemon drop, lemon drops, lemming, lemmings, suicidal, mass suicide, mass suicides, jump off a cliff, jumps off a cliff, jumping off a cliff, happy, happiness, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatrics, psychiatric care, mental health, cheer up, cheers up, cheering up, mistake, mistakes, bad choice, bad choices
"Nobody told me about this!"
"Now, that's the kind of innovative thinking I'd like to see around our shop."
Tags:stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, suicidal, market crash, market crashes, crash, crashes, stock market, stock markets, investor, investors, innovate, innovates, innovating, innovator, innovators, innovation, innovations, office worker, office workers, bear market, bear markets, executive, executives, corporate hierarchy, corporate hierarchies, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, approval, boss, bosses, manager, managers, upper management
Tags:tic-tac-toe, tic tac toe, naughts and crosses, noughts and crosses, suicidal, danger, dangerous, suicide mission, lose, lost, already lost, game, games, paper-and-pencil, losing, danger, dangerous, hold back, suicidal, angry, anger, cliche, cliches, survive, surviving, personification, personified
"It's from the boss. We're to commit mass suicide."
"Lieutenant, he left a suicide sticky."
"There's an Officer Ripley inside who sure could use a hug."
Tags:teddy, teddies, teddy bear, teddy bears, soft toy, soft toys, officer, officers, policemen, policeman, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, suicidal, death wish, death wishes, death-wish, death-wishes, ledge, talking down, talk down, talk-down, cuddle, cuddles, hug, hugs, toy, toys, depression, depressed, mental health, mental state
"Please come back in. I'll go to a different psychiatrist."
Tags:suicidal, patient, patients, depression, depressed, mental illness, mentally ill, therapist, therapists, therapy, mental health, anxiety, anxieties, stress, stressed, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, counseling
"You guys go ahead. I've decided to smoke myself to death."
"Just in case the conference call runs long."
Tags:hanging rope, hanging, hangings, noose, nooses, suicidal, death wish, death-wishes, death, deaths, suicidal, meeting, meetings, bored, boring, bored to death, board meeting, meets, conference, conference calls, workplace, work, dark humor, dark humour, long, drag, drags, dragging, corporate culture, death-wish, death wishes, conference call