Surgeon Cartoons

"Cosmetic dentistry changed my life."

"Of course, it's a highly experimental procedure, but we're trying out new techniques from other disciplines all the time."

"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."

"Well, yes, it's a routine procedure - if you routinely have someone slice open your body with sharp instruments and then fiddle with your insides."

"We did find a creative bone in your body, but it was very untalented."

"You know, doctor, right now I'd really prefer if your sense of humor were a tad less self-deprecating."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. The anesthesiologist is on vacation."

"We'll widen the clogged artery by inserting a balloon."

"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."

"Good news, Mr. Herndon. We worked out the budget, and we have a kidney."

"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."

"Clear!"

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

"We found this in your brain."

"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."

How The Elephant Lost Her Trunk

"And would you be performing the actual surgery?"

"Yee-ouch! That's gotta hurt."

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."

"It would be a great honor for me to be counted as one of your successes."

"Spork."

"Hey, c'mon. This isn't brain surgery."