Telly Cartoons

"Don't make the same mistake I did and squander your years in the eighteen-to-thirty-four demographic."

"This week on 'The Amazing Race to Enlightenment,' can Jim and Suzy achieve right mindfulness? And will Barb and Candy be eliminated for relentless clinging to the self?"

"Now, in addition to our regular programming, let me tell you about tonight's specials."

"Sometimes I think there are too many good things on Channel 13."

"But enough about my teeth. Let's talk about your teeth."

Elevator rolling TV picture.

"The suspect was described as wearing totally pedestrian bluejeans, an indifferent gray sweatshirt, and a trucker's cap, without the slightest sense of irony."

"Haven't I seen you on 'Adam Smith's Money World'?"

"Notice how the more we watch the bigger it gets?"

"Fear Factor" Rejectees

"Football takes my mind off basketball."

"There they all are again..."

"Last night, I had the weirdest dream sequence."

"What's happening to us, Bob? We used to be so issue-oriented."

The Art of Bantering!

"I just don't get these reality shows!"

Family Judging the Family Feud

Pilgrim Watching Turkey on Televisoin

"Your remote control, sire."

"You don't have to answer that."

"Somebody fine tune Johnson."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"I keep hoping he'll get tired of that reality stuff."

"Apparently they hand out awards for something called 'television.' "

Children Swearing: Then vs Now