"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
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early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life"This will buy you four months.
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doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."
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bad, bad news, bearer of bad news, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, death, dead, black humor, black humour, comfort food, comforting, comfort, food, pizza, pizzas, dark humor, dark humour, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, died, dying, terminal, terminal illness, medical, medicine"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."
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bearer, bearer of bad news, bad news, terminal, terminally, terminal illness, illness, ill, sick, sickness, healthy, medically, doctor, doctors, consultant, consulting, depressed, depressing, depression, mortality, mortal, get well, get well soon, morbid, morbidly, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, dying, die, died, die of, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, check up, check-up, appointment"And don't go auctioning off my stuff."
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death, dying, dies, dead, deathbed, death bed, auction, auctioning, auctions, sell, selling, jackie kennedy onassis, greed, greedy, wealthy, wealth, old age, aging, family, families, relative, relatives, dying wish, dying wishes, last wish, last wishes, final wish, final wishes, ill, terminal, order, instruction, stern"I'm afraid you have only three minutes to live."
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egg, eggs, boil, boiled, boiled egg, hard boiled, doctor, doctors, medicine, medical, live, to live, food, foods, humpty dumpty, humpty dumpty sat on a wall, nursery rhyme, rhyme, nursery rhymes, eat, eating, eats, medicines, prognosis, diagnosis, terminal, eggy, personified, through the looking glass, myths, myth, cook, cooking, cooked, cooks"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."
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alien, aliens, time, time travel, science fiction, sci fi, scifi, sci-fi, science-fiction, doctor, doctors, cure, cures, medical, medicals, surgery, surgeon, ill, illness, illnesses, patient, patients, get well, get well soon, terminal, disease, diseases, diseased, health, healthy, healthcare, health care, medicare, medi care, obamacare, obama care, doctor doctor"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."
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alien, aliens, time, time travel, science fiction, sci fi, scifi, sci-fi, science-fiction, doctor, doctors, cure, cures, medical, medicals, surgery, surgeon, ill, illness, illnesses, patient, patients, get well, get well soon, terminal, disease, diseases, diseased, health, healthy, healthcare, health care, medicare, medi care, obamacare, obama care, doctor doctorScalpers Work The Queue At Heaven's Gates
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, ticket, tickets, ticketted, ticketed, scalped, scalps, scalp, scalper, scalpers, con, cons, conned, entry, enter, entrance, sport, sports, baseball"Wiles of the Devil or not, someone's gotta pay for these pies."
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, pizza, pizzas, pizza boy, pizza man, prank, pranks, prank call, wiles, wiles of the devil, the devil, devil, deliver, delivery, takeout, take-out, take out, delivered, take away, takeaway, take-away"If it's any consolation, he seemed like a bit of a jerk."
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bad news, good news, death, dead, die, died, dying, doctor, doctors, bearer of bad news, be the bearer, communication, bedside, bedside manner, manners, jerk, jerks, surgeon, surgery, surgeons, terminal, lost him, hospital, hospitals, waiting room, waiting rooms, tact, tactless, tactful, no loss, no big deal, married, marriage, get well, get well soon"Here he is, folks, straight from his deathbed in Jersey City, a beautiful guy—let's hear a nice round of applause for . . ."
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, heavenly gates, pearly gates, st peter, peter, saint, saints, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, st. peter, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, introducing, introduction, introductions, introduce, introduced, audience, applause, applaud, applauded, applauding, applauds"He's from Texas."
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, religious, god, religions, religious imagery, hell, hellish, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after death, underworld, under world, hades, demon, horn, horns, horned, texas, texan, bigger in texas, do it big in texas, big, bigger is better, cowboy, cow boys, southern, southerners, deep south, region, regions, regional, south america, america"We're hoping for an uptick."
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hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bed ridden, sick, sickness, ill, illness, serious, deathbed, death, hope, hoping, uptick, positive, optimist, optimists, optimism, black humour, black humor, dark humor, dark humour, terminal, stock, stocks, stock market, broker, brokers, stockbroker, stockbrokers, trading, economy, investor, investors, investment, investments, investing"The doctor didn't make it."
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operate, operating, operation, operations, surgery, surgeon, surgeries, illness, illnesses, disease, diseases, unhealthy, ill health, get well, get well soon, healthy, health, medical, medicine, medicines, doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, healthcare, terminal, dark humor, reversal, role reversal, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gown"The good news is it's the size of a baseball."
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tumour, tumours, tumor, tumors, baseball, baseballs, sport, sports, sportsman, sporting, base ball, the game, last inning, final inning, terminal, doctor, doctors, medicine, medicines, good news, bad news, good news and bad news, apt, appropriate, hospital, hospitals, gallows humor, black humor, dark humor, gallows humour, black humour, dark humour, get well, get well soon"You're not so much crying on the inside as severely hemorrhaging."
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doctor, doctors, patient, patients, death, dead, dying, die, dies, clown, clowns, sad clown, circus, carny, carnie, carnies, sick, sickness, ill, illness, healthy, health scare, get well, get well soon, terminal, terminally, examination, examining, consultant, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, hemorrhaging, hemorrhage, crying inside, smile, smiling, smiles"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"
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husband, wife, doctor, sick, illness, couch, worry, medical, disease, diseases, appreciate, appreciates, appreciation, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, hypochondriac, hypochondriacs, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, diagnoses, sick, sicknesses, concern, concerns, concerned, mankoff"We're letting him think there's a big media deathwatch."
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deathwatch, deathwatches, ego, ego-stroking, ego stroker, ego strokers, big up, big ups, bigging up, self-esteem, self-esteem boost, self-esteem booster, self-esteem boosters, deathbed, deathbeds, death bed, death beds, terminal, terminal condition, terminal conditions, sense of importance, importance, inflated, self-worth, egotist, egotists, egotistical, white lie, white lies, lie, liars, liar, good friend, good friends, public figure, public figures, minor celebrity, minor celebrities, status, social status, die, dies, dying"You don't look anything like your pictures."
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deathbed, terminal, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, heaven, heavenly, heavens, angel, angels, angelic, angelically, religious, god, gods, lord, religions, religious imagery, the heavens, after life, after-life, afterlife, life after seeing is believing, expectations, never meet your heroes, expect, unexpected, not what you expected, death, paradise, paradiso, nirvana, condolence, condolences, sympathy, sympathies, expectation vs reality, reality, versusEveryday Hospice
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hospice, hospice care, hospice worker, hospice workers, palliative care, end of life, end of life care, free reign, given free reign, terminal, incurable, diagnosis, diagnoses, illness, illnesses, cancer, disease, diseases, live it up, living it up, freedom, freedoms, free up, frees up, freeing up, end of life, last days"He didn't have any last words. He just sang the national anthem and then went blank."
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national anthem, last word, last words, final words, deathbed, deathbeds, patriot, patriots, patriotism, star-spangled banner, usa, america, american, last rites, death bed, death beds, hospital, hospitals, terminal, terminal condition, anthem, anthems, national anthem, god save the queen, god save the king, united kingdom, elder, elders, elderlyDoctors Without Boundaries
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death, dying, mortality, sick, sickness, terminal, doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, hospice, hospices, last words, last rites, hospital, hospitals, materialism, rude, rudeness, last will and testament, inheritance, stuff, things, palliative care, bedside manner, bedside manners, malpractice, inappropriateI can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.
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kale, healthy food, healthy foods, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles, lifestyle, exercise, exercises, exercising, salad, salads, inevitable, inevitability, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, tombstone, tombstones, epitaph, epitaphs, die, dies, dying, terminal, dietitian, dietitians, nutrition, nutritious, nutritiousness, greens, eat your greens, eating your greens, nutritionist, nutritionists