Terminology Cartoons

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"When you're on their flowers, you're a snail. When they want to eat you, suddenly you're an escargot."

"I'm not a scaredy-cat - I'm phobic."

"If it makes you feel better—yes, I am heterocentric."

"Once, we were all bugs. Now suddenly she's an insect."

"My clients object to the term 'hit men.' They like to think of themselves as a well-regulated militia."

"We're trying to come up with a less offensive term for 'political correctness.'"

"Don't you think after thirty years of marriage you could stop referring to me as 'the military'?"

Friendly Offer or Hostile Bid? "What do you say to a movie and then we go get some Chinese?"

Parenting Wonks

"You know how some writers are known as 'writer's writers'? I'm what's known as a 'driving instructor.' "

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Shaded blue box on our org chart, meet dotted red arrow."

"You're welcome to follow me, but no drafting."

Hecklers On Poetry Night

New 'Vores

"This man is a wonderful primary-care husband."

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

"Gentlemen, let's do lunch."

"Excuse me, but was that 'to wit' or 'to woo'?"

"Look, I say 'Star Wars' and you say 'Strategic Defense Initiative,' so let's call the whole thing off."

"The animal-rights folks are getting on our case for cow punching."

"After all, what is 'yo'? Only 'oy' backward."

"I wouldn't call you crazy. But only because nobody uses that word anymore."