"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
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air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."
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air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, bad sign, maintenance, maintenance crew, problem, problems, fixing, repairing, repair, repairs, safety, apprehension, foreboding, fear, fearful, anxiety, anxious, transportation"I understand the Everest climb used to be quite a chore."
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mt. everest, everest, mount everest, mountain, mountains, the himalayas, nepal, tibet, china, climb, climbing, mountain climbing, climber, climbers, mountain climber, mountain climbers, chore, escalator, escalators, technology, modern, modern life, sherpa, sherpas, white privilege, picnic, picnics, champagne, lazy, laziness, first world privilege, dark tourism, tourism, tourist, tourists, travelling, traveling, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, trip, trips, easy"I'm afraid the trip is off—our government is cracking down on illegal aliens."
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alien, aliens, martian, martians, extraterrestrial, extraterrestrials, science fiction, sci-fi, spaceship, spaceships, flying saucer, fly saucers, ufo, ufos, u.f.o., u.f.o.s, unidentified flying object, unidentified flying objects, trip, trips, travel, traveller, travellers, travelling, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourism, tourist, tourists, government, governments, immigration, immigrant, immigrants, illegal immigration, illegal alien, illegal aliens, illegal immigrant, crack down, crack downs, cracking down, foreigner, foreigners, international, bureaucracy, immigration policy, wordplay, word play, pun, puns"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."
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air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, delay, delays, delayed, late, inconvenience, voucher, vouchers, service, customer service, death, life, waiting, wait, long waits, redeem, redeemable, courtesy, wasting time, wasted timeBus for Dogs
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bus, buses, transport, transportation, bus company, dog, dogs, passengers, passenger, role reversal, dogs driving, driving dog, human-like dog, animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owners, pet owner, bus driver, bus drivers, coach, coaches, travel, travelling, traveling, traveler, travelers, travellers, traveller, bus tour, bus tours, tourism, tourist, tourists, road trip, road trips, tour group, tour groups"We must be in the Village."
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city, cities, urban, village, villages, town, towns, small town, small towns, rural, lost, confused, confusion, traveller, travellers, travelling, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourism, tourist, tourists, city folk, city slicker, city slickers, city dweller, city dwellers, map, maps, ny, nyc, new york, new york city, greenwich village"But I take it a canoe trip along the lower Amazon does not appeal."
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travel agent, travel agents, travel agency, travel agencies, traveller, travellers, travelling, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourism, tourist, tourists, canoe, canoes, canoeing, amazon river, amazon, old age, elderly, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, fitness, health, bad idea, retirement, retiree, retirees"I like Europe. They're not afraid of a few germs."
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bar, bars, pub, pubs, bartender, bartenders, travel, traveling, travelling, traveler, travelers, travellers, traveller, grub, grubby, unclean, grimy, germ, germs, spreading germs, unhealthy, unwashed, europe, european, beer, beers, alcohol, drink, drinks, drinking, drinker, drinkers, cultural differences, unsanitary"They may seem slow and peaceful, but don't underestimate their anti-American rage."
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rhino, rhinos, rhinoceros, rhinoceroses, safari, safaris, safari guide, safari guides, aggressor, aggressors, aggressive, aggression, anti-american, anti-american rage, underestimate, underestimates, underestimating, american, americans, travel, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, foreign travel, foreign vacation, foreign vacations"They, like, invented retro."
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history, historical, ancient, greek, greece, pantheon, temple, temples, column, columns, architecture, ruin, ruins, invention, inventions, invented, inventor, inventors, retro, vintage, antique, travel, tourism, traveller, travellers, travelling, traveler, travelers, traveling, tourist, tourists, backpacker, backpackers, hipster, hipsters, millennial, millennials, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, dumb"Gee, honey, this place has got everything."
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tourist, tourists, tourism, tours, tour, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, landmark, landmarks, travel, travels, traveling, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, big ben, stonehenge, colosseum, eiffel tower, arc de triomphe"Ça suffit, good buddy!"
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, new york, new york city, ny, nyc, tourist, tourists, tourism, tourist trap, tourist traps, travel, traveling, traveler, travelers, travelling, traveller, travellers, wine, ceramic mug, ceramic mugs, coffee mug, coffee mugs, sommelier, sommeliers, wine steward, wine stewards, wine waiter, wine waiters, wine connoisseur, wine connoisseurs, three stars"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."
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death, dead, burial, burials, memorial, memorials, funeral, funerals, burial service, burial services, memorial service, memorial services, funeral service, funeral services, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, gravestone, gravestones, headstone, headstones, grave, graves, marker, markers, mourner, mourners, mourning, grieving, bereaved, upgraded, upgrade, upgrades, first class, business class, travel, tourism, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, point, points, point card, point cards, heaven, after death, life after death, consumerism"He says it's not an invasion - it's a cruise."
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invasion, invasions, cruise, cruises, dock, docks, docking, deport, deports, deporting, ufo, ufos, flying saucer, flying saucers, alien, aliens, spaceship, spaceships, spacecraft, spacecrafts, alien, aliens, illegal alien, illegal aliens, illegal immigrant, illegal immigration, tourist, tourists, tourism, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers"Now when I go abroad I tell everyone I'm a Canadian goose."
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travel, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, tourism, tourist, tourists, american, americans, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, eagle, eagles, bald eagle, bald eagles, symbol, symbols, united states, us, u.s., united states of america, usa, u.s.a., america, canadian, canadians, canada, canadian goose, canadian geese, canada goose, canada geese, abroad, international, international travel, going abroad, embarrassed, embarrassing, identity, national identity, politics, government, governments, nationality, nationalities"Just ignore them. They're summer people."
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, fish, shark, sharks, underwater, ocean, sea, summer, summertime, tourist, tourists, tourism, tourist season, travel, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, vacationer, vacationers, holiday-goer, holiday-goers, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, summer people, ignore, ignoring, strange, unusual, dumb, sucker, suckers, season, seasons, seasonal, swimmingThe World's Easiest Airport
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airport, airports, maze, mazes, arrow, arrows, follow the arrows, following the arrows, ease of use, easy, easiness, simple, simplicity, simplify, simplifies, simplifying, redesign, redesigns, redesigning, arrival, arrivals, departure, departures, design, designs, designer, designers, travel, travels, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, frequent flyer, frequent flyers"Why is it that the person using the seat belt before me is always thinner than I am?"
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air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, seat belt, seat belts, thin, skinny, body image, weight, overweight, fat, obese, obesity, self-confidence, self-esteem, health, fitness, body shape, out of shape, complaint, complaints, complainingChild on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"
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air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, kid, kids, child, children, airplane mode, flight mode, technology, turn on, turn off, setting, settings, phone, phones, cellphone, cellphones, cell phone, cell phones, cellular phone, cellular phones, mobile phone, mobile phones, smart phone, smart phones, smartphone, smartphones, flying with kids, flying with children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, family, families, shirt, shirts, t-shirt, t-shirts, modern life"Salted nuts or chewing gum?"
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greek, greece, ancient, history, historical, myth, myths, mythology, legend, legends, folklore, underworld, styx, river styx, hades, afterworld, hell, charon, kharon, ferrymen, ferryman, death, dead, life after death, ferry, ferries, boat, boats, ship, ships, cruise, cruises, journey, journeys, trip, trips, travelling, traveller, travellers, traveling, traveler, travelers, tourist, tourists, tourism, travel, voyage, voyages, air travel, sea travel, airline, airlines, salted nuts, nuts, mixed nuts, chewing gum, gum, bubblegum, snack, snacks, vendor, vendors, customer service, service, passenger, passengers, customer, customers, soul, souls"Let's go someplace awful to avoid the tourists."
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tourist, tourists, tourism, traveler, traveller, travellers, travelers, travel book, travel books, travel agent, travel agents, authentic, authenticity, tourist trap, tourists traps, experience, experiences, unpleasant, awful, elite, elites, poverty tourism, poverty tourist, poverty tourists, privilege, privileged, life of privilege"Have you ever checked out London?"
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london, travel, travels, traveling, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, travelling, world traveler, world travelers, sophisticates, sophisticates, sophisticated, wealthy, rich, riches, dinner party, dinner parties, pretentious, pretentiousness, snob, snobs, snobby, snobbery, cliche, cliches, cliched, vacation, vacations, vacationing"I don't think there's enough vodka for another week in Canada."
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canada, forest, forests, woods, trees, tree, wild, wilderness, camping, camp, camper, campers, outdoors, great outdoors, tent, tents, canoe, canoes, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, alcoholic, drunk, vodka, not enough, running out, bored, boredom, dull, boring, middle of nowhere, nature, tourist, tourists, tourism, travel, trip, trips, traveller, travellers, traveler, travelers, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays