Trials Cartoons

"Innocence is no excuse."

"Of course, it's a highly experimental procedure, but we're trying out new techniques from other disciplines all the time."

"And here's good news for the defense. I am disqualifying myself on the grounds of blatant prejudice."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"Ask the judge whether we can find the defendant not guilty and still execute him."

"Not guilty, because puppies do these things."

"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"

"You can't plead cute."

"No, I don't think your decisions are too Draconian. Do you think my decisions are too Draconian?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"My question is for the medical examiner."

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

"What are you - some kind of justice freak?"

"I had a pretty sleazy lawyer, but evidently not sleazy enough."

"Call it 'legislating from the bench,' if you will, but on this occasion I should like to repeal the First Amendment."

"Isn't it true that you did not love the victim, as you claim, but, in point of fact, feigned affection for the sole purpose of obtaining tuna fish?"

"Learned counsel should use shorter words. Learned counsel is forgetting that this Court was not an 'A' student."

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"Are you telling me that just because something is against the law, that makes it illegal?"

"Come now, give the system a chance."

"Don't make me come down there."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Frankly, counselor, I don't care how stressful this is for your client—tell him to get out of that damn yoga position."

"We have testimony that you walk like a duck and you quack like a duck. Tell the court - are you a duck?"

"That was fun. What time does the next trial of the century start?"